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This isn’t true.

not me trying to turn off motion smoothing on the tv in my neurologist’s waiting room

I thought George W. Bush was an awful President in every way, but I have to admit, compared to Trump, I still think he was an awful President in every way.

Warner Brothers as we now know it would never release a movie like this. It's a miracle it got made in 1992. Only the iron perseverance of Spike Lee and the intervention of prominent Black Americans got it done. He even won on length. The contract said 2:15 max. Final Cut: 3:21. Worth every second.

Ronald McDonald is such a good clown name. You wouldn't have thought of it. You would have given him something obvious like Bloopers McBurger, the name of a clown. They gave him the name of a man.

Wait, he actually signed the treaty in . . . Versailles? I thought people were just joking about that. Is this his chief of staff?

Aimee Mann wasn’t sure if Rush fans would boo her. The singer-songwriter discusses how she was convinced to appear as a special guest at the band’s recent shows: ‘I knew they would make it really easy for me, because they’re decent people.’

lmao the shit look like ecto cooler

Uncanny.

Giants testing waters on potential trades. Unlocked and free to read. www.nytimes.com/athletic/736...

Wendy wrote a great piece. Undermining Pride Night this way is something we’ll always remember about these bigoted individuals and the Giants org for allowing it. There are surely people who will never spend another dollar on the Giants again after this, and I hope the org feels that pain for years

We’ve got the Onion Newsvan circling the cursed UFC fight outside the White House.

People keep posting that the whole country will look like New York last night when It Finally Happens, but that's very clearly never going to be true and the fantasizing about Woke 2.0 around here tends to make me pretty antsy. 40 million people aren't just going to go away because we want them to

UFC fightfest happening on a sweltering day in the shadow of a joyous global world cup and a citywide celebration of a team that only lost the one game he attended and slept through in the hometown that now boos him lustily the narrative resonances are simply too bountiful

The thing about the Idiocracy comparisons is: that movie overestimated us. That shit is set in 2505. We got this fucking stupid 479 years ahead of schedule.

New: I wrote about everyone intently watching the long process of removing Trump’s name from the Kennedy Center and how it revealed our insatiable thirst for accountability — and for his humiliation.

You don't think they're deliberately dragging their feet? I've seen scaffolding being built in NYC. This is to putting up scaffolding what Andy Warhol's "Empire" is to action movies.

Stick it in already

Everyone on Bluesky right now

C’mon, fellas. Less erectin’ and more dissectin’!

i’m ready for the Antifa News Network.

Who knew scaffolding could be so sexy?!🥵

58,000 people watching the livestream. Feels like we could get this to a million in the next hour. Would make a great headline.

Seeing the greatest film of all time about not enabling your shitty friends.

me watching this livestream

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It’s Olivia Rodrigo Day!

O nation, that thou couldst remove!

hoo the perv men and perv bots in full force

this is my pandacam www.youtube.com/live/aAhm880...

My friend is there

RIP David Hockney

Don’t skip your daily skin regimen, folks. However many steps.

HAPPY PRIDE! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈 🤍💗🩵🤎🖤♥️🧡💛💚💙💜

my favorite sub-genre of onion headline is trump boys

Y’all, I have some amazing news. Jack Lemmon is alive! And he thinks I’m beautiful and wants to be friends with little ol’ me!

My sweet, funny Mr. Biscuitkitten brought me some okra starts that we had to cull from our garden. Over a week later and they are growing. Could my dream of bedside okra become reality? Stay tuned.

This is SO GOOD.

You know what? Let this skank keep talking. He absolutely cannot help himself. His cult members have been buying his lies for years, but this is one he cannot escape. They are seeing it every single day when they fill up their cars.

a beautiful scene on smith street