Scumbag

Alex Pretti a nurse at the VA MURDERED TODAY BY DONALD TRUMPS NAZIS

I just realised this. We, the most imperialistic country ever, now have the moral high ground over the 'greatest country' on earth. This shit is funny to me.

Thank fuck I'm English. If the shit happening in America happened here the perpetrators would get fucked up. We don't take that racist shit over here.

I should not be allowed to make decisions when I'm drunk.

I almost went to the place I never want to visit again.... almost.

*puts glasses on* *looks around* *takes glasses off*

Social media still sucks.

Put a picture of my wife up in the kitchen and under it a sign saying “Employee of the Month” …and that’s when the fight started.

Haha, jokes on you. You're all figments of my coma dream.

What have you got to lose!? You might actually learn something. Give it a look.

Fuck politics. Fuck celebrities. Fuck people. Fuck everything. We need a reset....big time.

I might be mistaken, but I'm probably not, but to write great songs there have to be a lot of drugs taken by the writer/s. Prove me wrong. Name and absolute classic that wasn't drug inspired. Spoiler, anything from the late 60's-late 90's is won't be on the list.

90's Foo Fighters was the best Foo Fighters. Prove me wrong.

A palate cleanse....but for the planet.

Sit rep. I now have reconnected with some of my family, which is absolutely brilliant, because one of them reached out. Unfortunately I now have to deal with the ones who didn't give a fuck about me when I needed them to at my half brothers funeral. Tis a difficult situation.

To all my American, I'd say friends but we all know I don't have those, people on bluesky. If you're not fighting the orange moron you're complicit in his attempt to become a dictator. *Slow clap*

DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death

Grunge ended hair metal....thank fuck.

11 beers deep. Should I keep going or be an adult!? We all know which way I'm gonna go.

Giving peace, love and kisses out to this whole stinking world. But not to you, yeah you, you know what you did. Deal with it.

*randomly places a brussel sprout on your tl*

For a complete prick I'm actually not a bad guy.

Of course I live in the past, have you seen the present?

Society melts your brain

I'm not angry recently and I don't know who I am. I know what I am without the anger, boring.... I'm boring as fuck.

He died doing what he loved: rollerblading into oncoming traffic.

So now I have some family again. After so long without anyone it is weird....but I think I'll get used to it. Well until they realise that I'm still an absolute arsehole and walk away.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I just farted

So why am I nervous about meeting my grand niece for the first time tomorrow? I don't do nervous.

Snoop Dog be sellin out for anyone with a jingle and a blank check

Them: Tits or ass? Me: Someone who will hit me in the face with a shovel.

I'm not outraged today so I'm going to drink some more coffee and think about why.

Life becomes so much easier when you learn to find contentment in crushing disappointment.

But, I don't want to be the rational one. <pouting>

An ionizer, but to get the stench of your ex out

Eating salt water taffy..flavor unknown. Let's name it rancid.

drank too much last night and would have slept in but the neighbors lawn mower woke me up. I was going to say something to him but he can just mow around me.

I said “hubba hubba“ when you bent over to clean up cat puke, please respond.

I want to go to Octoberfest but I really don’t want to be around a lot of people. The struggle is real.

Still haunted by the donut hole I dropped, rolled under my car seat & got away.

Of course, romance is dead. The internet killed wonder. With no wonder, there is no romance.

Why don’t Catholic Priests ever win any races? They like to come in a little behind.

Shut the fuck up, I'm going to bed. Oh yes that means you over there pulling faces. I fucking see you.... knock it off dipshit.

What the fuck is 'mastodon'? Is it some other thing I can ignore? Why do I give a shit? Why am I still, after 10 hours drinking, not asleep? These and many other questions will be NOT answered in the next episode of 'What the fuck matters anymore?'

I'm guessing that being American right now is like being in an abusive relationship. My suggestion for both situations....kill the cunt.

I've only just found this so I'm pushing it on you all even if you've already seen it. youtube.com/watch?v=DS0v...

[At restaurant] Kermit: I'll have the BLT Miss Piggy: Kermit: Miss Piggy: Kermit: Waiter: Would you like that with fries or pork n beans? Kermit: ᴳᴵᵐᵐᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᴵⁿᵍ ᵖᵒʳᵏ ⁿ ᵇᵉᵃⁿˢ

I think we can all agree.