The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."

Dear leader ass

How did my cat figure out daylight savings time instantly

Happy Gary Retrograde everyone! The next two weeks are the only two weeks out of the year when Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

But Marge, it works for any ayatollah

Sega has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

is this good

I miss when Presidents were real men and fought their stepsons in front of the New York City Federal Hall with katanas

Before social media we had to tell scary stories over a campfire in the midnight society

new iconic meme format just dropped www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

Who let me pay and walk out of the store with Thai Birds Eye chilis and add it to my dinner without a license

uhhh oh my god

They really did the “after markets close on a Friday” special

a big tent for all of the failsons

Foreign relations specialists love wars in the Middle East with no discernible win conditions, in particular

Our village is dying. The Plex server is at capacity and its spinning drives are failing. There is hope, however. The discs speak of something called a "WD Elements" drive. It is said that people in the past used to shuck like oysters, and that it can bring life to a server. This is your quest.

The Warner Bros curse spares no company

That it took this long is truly insane

I ain’t watchin that

There’s a Goku themed ramen shop in nyc and I’m going feral

I am now fan of domain squatting Hakeemjeffries2026.com

"Another glorious day at Milan Cortina for the Olympic Games! I'm Buck Laughlin, joined by Trevor Beckwith—Trevor have you ever driven a Milan Cortina?" "...I, I don't think—" "Great mileage, needs a roomier back seat. Gas grass or 'uh-oh,' nobody rides for free. Trevor Beckwith, your thoughts."

Metaphor rejected for being too obvious

look at my country man, we’re getting out-No Kings’d by the fuckin’ british

"iS tHeRe a tEcHnoLoGY tHe leFt Is eXcItEd aBoUt" yeah, renewable energy, mRNA vaccines. Lots of cool stuff like that! Probably not the one whose main promise was cutting payrolls

Setting my homepage as Dreamcast.ign.com in the wayback machine just to feel something again

CHUCK E CHEESE GOT EPSTEINED?

America adopting the Spice Bag would prove that we can actually defeat Ozempic

I’m Sebulbamaxxing www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDBc...

RIP to a bond company stooge who was also a human being

You know, if Jeanine Pirro can’t find sufficiently high proof, nobody can.

sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young

You know it’s sounds a lot more pathetic once you translate it from the original German

New dankmus, we are so back

Every time I re-read Trump v. United States, it feels like getting hit in the head with a mallet.

WOKE 2 IS HERE

We are living in a nationwide rum ad

No Kings includes Draft Kings

So many boomers are gonna get pretend mad about twerking on fb

Kind of gives away the whole game that all the crypto ads this year have been replaced with gambling and AI ads.

Team Ruff doing some nakedly illegal plays

Guile... Guinan... Guilenan