Well, it happened again. I got put on the jumbotron at the grocery store and everyone booed my groceries

In a statement to @benmullin.bsky.social, Scott Pelley disputes what Bari Weiss said in this morning's editorial meeting, claiming he was never offered "a way back" as she claimed. "These executives cannot gain the trust of the staff with lies. This is antithetical to everything we stand for..."

I have joined an ascetic religious order called the Wendigant Mendicants. We congregate in Midtown Manhattan, and supplicate finance guys on their way to work for “firmware in the form of ‘alms.’“ They invariably tell us to go away and seek gain-flumpty-fooful employment

Andy Merrill (Brak) is an Amazon delivery driver. Carey Means (Frylock) got CHF from/exacerbated by COVID & was recently working as a restaurant dishwasher. C. Martin Croker (Zorak) died of sepsis from an infected tooth he couldn't afford to get treated. Capitalism destroys both art & artist.

Give it up for the American healthcare system!

Baby now thinks the name “Rob Riggle” is funny and you know what? I’m tired of pretending he’s wrong

The funniest combination of beliefs is that C++ must be completely replaced with Rust for security reasons and also that all software should be 100% vibe coded. Incredibly this is also the modal belief in my profession

I’m a persona non grata in every francophone country on earth because of my 2012 Favstar chart-topping tweet, ”Dijon is a good mustard…for me to Poupon!” Also banned from every other country for the same reason

It’s bullshit how big companies (which can presumably hire competent developers) are pushing Electron apps. Postman hogs 1GB of RAM to do nothing; LastPass is about the same. Anything to make it easier to shove pointless UI changes down our throats so managers can demonstrate “impact“ and “velocity”

Given the book’s premise, it’s surprising that “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” is one of the few popular works of children’s literature that hasn’t been greedily expanded into a bloated, never-ending film and TV franchise that grotesquely stretches the source material beyond recognition

CANYON.MID

This is who @schumer.senate.gov marched with in the Israel Day Parade today.

Making everyone in my party vanguard wear polo shirts like Mao and the Zhongshan suit

Marco Pierre White, Anthony Bourdain, and The Bear propagandized everyone into thinking cooks + chefs are the artistic blue-collar soul of the world. In fact, only IT workers are worthy of this mantle, and our salt-of-the-earth folkways are the truly authentic ones. Google “SharePoint epistemology“

not a fan of the Muppets selling out and appearing in ads. Especially the ones where Fozzie Bear shills for Marc Andreessen‘s AI surveillance tech (“Flocka Flocka Flocka!”)

Downloaded malware on Napster Saw Wild Wild West seven times Then got trench foot at Woodstock Was the summer of ‘99

“Yesterday” (2019) might’ve been a more interesting film if the protagonist singer-songwriter recreated the Beatles‘ discography and audiences said “this SUCKS. I can’t relate to these songs at all”

tl,dr; Scientists no longer allowed to use federal funding to publish, attend meetings, or talk to the public. They cannot collaborate internationally. Grants can be cancelled for any reason, at any time, political appointees have a final say over what gets funded, and who gets funded.

I know that a lot of Freud’s speculations have been falsified, but he was one of the few European America haters to really understand America. He accurately described our national creed as “I like chocolate and garlic: let’s have both at once!” The Latin version of that might as well be on our money

I get why stored procedures are (sometimes) a necessary evil in dreary enterprise software, but can we please absolutely forbid using SQL table triggers and foreign key cascades? They are so evil

“All I know is that Scotty knows nothing”—millennial Socrates

The defining principle of our society is that people who were lucky during the dot com boom or Web 2.0 should have vast and ever-growing individual power over the entire world. The only acceptable check on their power is their squabbles with each other.

just discovered a module I wrote 6 years ago has a subtle but catastrophic bug (despite perfect unit test coverage and fanatically defensive programming, etc.) but a second bug prevents the bug condition from touching the DB, & just causes the errant cron job to error out. Enterprise software rules

Guy with "STRIP CLUB OWNERS ARE JOB CREATORS" t-shirt and a giant cowboy hat. The hat is so big and distracting no one ever comments on the shirt. Guy who's a Google engineer who has no reason to be dressing like this

Trump looking like the villain from a live action Casper the Friendly Ghost movie that grosses $57K in its opening weekend

he takes being a cowboy very seriously

so like lemme weigh in on this as someone who is more financially comfortable than many in my generational cohort: everything I have gained seems precarious and temporary because I know the people with real money will take it all from me the second they get an opportunity and no one will protect me.

my favorite throwaway gag of Men In Black is how the Vincent D'Onofrio character dramatically improves as a husband when he’s grotesquely occupied by Edgar the Bug

Thinking again about the defunct all-salad bar and soup bar Atlanta regional chain restaurant Lettuce Souprise You.

As Jabba the Hutt's son I'm often gatekept from progressive spaces due to preconceived notions about my family. At the same time, I acknowledge the reasonable concerns my presence would raise, and I'm working every day to unlearn the harmful attitudes instilled in me on my father's pleasure barge.

Paid subscribers on Letterboxd can choose the background they want to appear on each movie’s home page. For some reason, this is one of the options for The Muppets Take Manhattan.

Houston, we have fumbled the bag…

Listen in on scientists finding (and falling for) a new species of octopus now called Microeledone galapagensis. Read more here www.scientificamerican.com/article/tiny...

Medieval troubadour named Bard Simpson

web development has gotten AI psychosis & I hate it. The topic overpowers everything else, led (paradoxically) to both stagnation & an insane drive to ship more & more code, & degraded security. I miss when making an app was a series of interesting decisions, even if I usually made the wrong ones

I’d be fine if my dad openly despised me, but Trump’s dismissive contempt for Don Jr. & Eric would psychologically devastate me. Reminds me of how one of John Cheever’s sons pored over his father’s voluble diaries & found he was essentially unmentioned, & thus didn’t even rank highly enough to hate

I feel like the photographer could have gotten a little closer tbh

at the peak of China's housing miracle there was ~$1.6 trillion of capital expenditure to deliver ~8 million residential units. USian tech oligarchs are spending half of that to double people’s electricity bills and drain their water sources as the planet burns. how is this going to end

(a new object is placed in my enclosure) damn new object just dropped (I glance disparagingly over at yesterday's object) lol y'all still thinking about this huh

This is completely deranged: Iran is required to play games in the US but ISN’T ALLOWED TO STAY IN THE COUNTRY OVERNIGHT. They will instead have to fly back to Mexico. www.bbc.com/sport/footba...

I used to hate being in malls (having worked in them), but have come around to agree with senior citizens that mall walking is a good time. It‘s the closest you can get to time traveling to the 20th century

I up and then hear that my wife and her maid Ashwell had between them spilled the pot of piss and turd upon the floor and stool and God knows what, and were mighty merry making of it clean. I took no great notice, but merrily.

imagine the kind of business coffee chains could do in the Philip Pullman universe. Everyone would be buying their dæmons little pup cups

The events of Dawn of the Dead actually happened. It sucked. It was 1994: the heyday of talk radio & Generation X. You’d randomly encounter guys zombified by the toxic chemicals at Love Canal. They’d be listlessly saying stuff like “remember that WHINER who sued because McDonalds coffee is too hot?”

(Calvin’s Dad if he were a Redditor) TLDR is short for Tildar, Sumerian god of verbosity,

While you were foolishly reading about the boring Sokal Hoax, I was busy rejecting allopathic medicine in favor of a SoCal Hoax (a Palo Alto chiropractor quackishly bathing me in medical-grade ozone to rid my body of subluxations and toxins)

I‘ve never felt like I‘ve been “missing out” on X since I nuked my accounts, but I hear the latest trend is right wing Influencers posting photos of depressing lunches to prove that you can survive the stagnant US economy if you don’t splurge on fast food and I admit to feeling a mild twinge of FOMO