President Master Shake

Just watched an old episode of Tiny House Nation where it’s fairly obvious that the show’s hosts, producers, and camerapeople absolutely hate the recipient of the house. Sometimes the free Roku channels deliver

Build me a 4-bedroom Modern Farmhouse worthy of Mordor. (Throw in a bonus room above the garage while you’re at it)

the funniest person to never write for the onion wrote freelance articles about the 5 best card balance transfers

IMO: the jobless situation has been far worse in the last 2 years than unemployment rates acknowledge. Outside of healthcare, no one seems to be hiring, there are endless waves of layoffs, and I bet >=40% of Indeed is ghost jobs now. Even the data center boom created only temporary construction jobs

ASSANTE1.BMF

Matt Christman said it best about the old Twitter: it was the friendship site. It wasn’t the global public square or a locus of mass movements. Ditto for BlueSky. If it fails, I don’t care, & wouldn’t perceive that as a failure of left politics. I’d just move onto the next website or even go outside

Mark Twain said the greatest military genius who ever lived was a shoemaker born in an era of peace. I think the greatest writer who ever lived probably authored airport books like “The Badass Guide to Badassery: Epic Bacon Edition” in the 2010s, after the job market in arts and letters collapsed

To anyone trying to form a viable jury pool in the Elon Musk Twitter trial (or any other legal action against him): I have no strong feelings whatsoever about that man, of whom I have barely heard before, & would decide solely on law on fact. You’re gonna like the way we deliberate, I guarantee it™️

ANXIETY: what if you’re not good enough DEPRESSION: nobody likes you BILL MAHER MONOLOGUE FROM 2008: The John Edwards campaign is what happens when keeping it “Rielle” goes wrong!

Pretty hypocritical of chickenhawks to enjoy enterprise CRMs without serving in the Salesforce themselves

Claude loses $13 for each dollar it makes. It's a matter of when, not if, vibe coders wake up from their sycophantic wetdream to discover they've permanently deskilled themselves out of programming jobs.

Did you know that at the moment of death your brain releases a pint of canola oil

“I don’t want to be in this place I want to go to my school.” - 7 year old imprisoned by ICE for 70 days in a concentration camp in Texas. Today, after @propublica.org published this story, the camp was raided to confiscate letters from the children. www.propublica.org/article/ice-...

great. I ordered “Move Fast and Break Things: The MBA Guide to Vibe Coding SaaS Apps” but received “Move, Fast, and Break Stuff: The Fred Durst Weight Loss System”

hey sully, you're supposed to land planes on the runway, not in the dang river. idiot

that almost every programmer loathes “Uncle Bob” Martin makes me wonder: is there another public face of an industry that’s despised by everyone in said industry? I wonder if chefs secretly find Anthony Bourdain annoying, or if pilots make fun of Chesley Sullenberger when passengers aren’t listening

Robert Duvall (RIP) was older than I am when he delivered his legendary performances as Tom Hagen and Frank Hackett (the evil media executive in Network). There’s still time…

Maybe nerds should worry less about Blazor components and more about donning blazers and comporting themselves appropriately at formal occasions

Look I have thick skin, and I know we are hated, and yet this statement still makes my breath catch. What kind of society allows for this sort of thing to be said

The r/MyBoyfriendIsAI subreddit is sad, but the Redditors mocking it don’t make a connection between their own consumerist approach to social life (the mantra of that website is “humiliate & cut off anyone who ever disappoints you in any way”) & why so many people are resorting to chatbot companions

@theonion.com subscription good

I’m not good w/ people & have a hard time understanding them. They have way too many traits. My proposal is a utopia based on the Mr. Men books, where everyone is given just ONE exaggerated, horrible personality trait (Mr. Mean), wretched affliction (Mr. Sneeze), or behavioral pathology (Mr. Tickle)

i can’t stop laughing

This is probably ok

not sure what Calvinism is all about? just remember TULIP! Total depravity, Unconditional depravity, Limited depravity (which is a tricky one when you consider T!), Irresistible depravity, and the perseverance of depravity!

Nail him into the dirt with my fist. "Looks like you got Ezra Pounded"

If Ezra Pound ever came up to me and said “Bah! there’s no wine like the blood’s crimson,” I’d shove that dork into a locker

GitHub has had something like 30 outages/incidents so far this month. Vibe coding (GitHub is now under the aegis of “CoreAI”) + Azure migration going well, I see

Repealing §230 will codify a 5-site Internet where only tech giants can assume the risk of hosting content. & the reason social media is harmful in 2026 is not that they give users a place to post; it’s that these sites became *publishers* that push content designed to turn kids’ brains into slurry

Same Valentine’s Day plans as last year: buy a dozen long-stemmed red roses and eat them in the handicapped stall in the bathroom at the mall

What’s fascinating is that (to a certain class of pundit and consultant) polls became the only lodestar for political messaging and policy the second they ceased to be reliable indicators of public opinion (insofar at it makes sense to reify “public opinion”)

what a lot of people miss about the 90s was when consumer capitalism was (well) consumer-oriented, even though it was godawful for workers/suppliers/small businesses/communities/the world generally. In college, I could get $9 haircuts at a 24-hour Walmart in Nowheresville, ME. Amazon rips you off

The point of using Notepad is to avoid bothering with awful rich text formats, so you can just work with text. Who thought, “you know what Windows Notepad needs? Markdown support, Office365 integration, and AI!” Just let me see control characters and make the search function a little better

It seems that people today care more about Boomer Esiason than asking of their Savior “eleison”

I don’t know what the future of this tech is. It may be that it’s now in the “too big to fail“ category in spite of losing $. But I see 0 evidence that it‘ll make anyone or anything better. The human brain—like neural networks—prunes unused nodes, & AI is already causing this for very little benefit

this bus puts out all the best movies

(Menacingly) Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp????!?!??!!!!!

can’t wait to be a 78-year-old who calls himself an “enfant terrible”

programmers don‘t get that it‘s hard to make tools that appeal to people with different skill levels. There’s a Reddit thread pondering why data scientists use Python when they should use “better” languages with S-expressions, as if a grad student who’s never coded before cares about metaprogramming

The destruction of the open, searchable web & its replacement with private platforms with proprietary clients is a disaster. It‘s a return to the AOL walled garden days only w/ more surveillance & hyper-monetization…The web is being transformed from a site of self-expression to one of social control

A lot of libertarians I’ve encountered either gave up on it (cf. Penn of Desert Bus fame) or, realizing that hierarchy (rather than negative liberty) was their core value, embrace far right politics & support secret police brutality in MN. The ideology doesn’t resonate with young people much anymore

My favorite Super Bowl memory is still when Elon Musk was at the 2023 game in Arizona and panicked about his Eagles tweet getting less engagement than Joe Biden's. He then flew immediately to Twitter's San Francisco office to start emergency meetings to fix the site's algorithm.

give me the ferments and free my soul I’m only eatin yogurt at the super bowl I’m RFK

Dozens of miserable posters on the Seaman Addiction Support Group web forums

I appreciate how Leonard Nimoy, in his voiceover for Seaman (Sega Dreamcast), warns you not to neglect your real-life obligations by playing that game too much. I wonder how many people actually had that problem