This is what Israel has done to Bint Jbeil, my hometown in southern Lebanon

I’m having trouble understanding the Palantir guy’s manifesto. It’s just an image macro of Sephiroth with overlaid text: “while you were partying, I was studying the BLADE.” (I can barely even read it because of JPEG compression artifacts). Don’t see how this is relevant to any company’s mission

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I don‘t view programming as an end-unto-itself, & I get why non-programmers disdain us given how arrogant so many CS people were during the late tech boom. On the other hand, this lazy attitude has taken over software development & will prove *literally* deadly, lol

I unearthed a song I wrote in second grade. Fisher Price at the time had an ad where the tagline was “Fisher Price knows,” and I ran with it: Verse 1 (To the tune of the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy) Fisher Price knows That you should Pick your nose All the way To Idaho Doo doo doo doo doo

Charmin bear using a bidet for the first time and instantly having an existential crisis

One thing I don‘t miss about college was reading Marxist secondary texts that left imposing terms like Gattungswesen untranslated. I may have a doctorate, but at the end of the day I’m still an American. I don’t care about what ”kleinbürgerlich” means unless you’re talking about White Castle sliders

KID: Mom, can we go to FuncoLand and buy Ogre Battle: The March of the Black Queen for Playstation? MOM: We have Ogre Battle at home OGRE BATTLE AT HOME: Ogre Battle: The 2028 Class III Pennsylvania Senate Democratic Primary Election Simulator

My detractors cannot be reached for comment, highlighting their duplicitous and furtive nature

told iran about how much pain there is at the pump lately and they're gonna let me sail through the strait with a couple few five-gallon jugs of crude. figure that oughta get us through summer. they gave me a little thingy of pistachios too, like a little tin. said i'm not allowed to share those tho

Tell the truth and get fired.

after two months of blockading a large percentage of the world’s oil flows at 1:34am 🤢 2:12am: going back for more blockade…

started an antidepressant for its off-label anti-insomnia use, & dreamed I was Ricky Gervais & was bombing on stage: “If God had an email address, it’d be [email protected]. Because he doesn’t answer any prayers in his inbox. On account of: he’s not real.” Y’know…maybe I don’t really need sleep.

I lost it when they brought out the stretcher

We all have days like this

you are legally required to do the italian hand thing when you say this cars name outloud

Insane story: Using facial recognition technology, The New York Knicks apparently tracked the movements of a transgender woman attending a game at Madison Square Garden to ensure she never appeared on the game's televised broadcast

I've been saying this for awhile but putting these ads in public places, where regular people, not companies, can see them is not meant as an ad, but as a threat.

Wolfenstein 3D Chess

ROLL that beautiful bean(-like Navy MRE nutritional substitute) footage!

Ask not for whom the mouth bites, it bites for the mailman

Zoomers will not believe me but we spent legit like almost two decades pretending it was super important that the president was someone the average person could relate to

CYPHER: I know this steak doesn't exist... Ignorance is bliss... NEO (BEEN TAKING SPANISH ON DUOLINGO FOR THE LAST 3 WEEKS): carne asada...

Before the FCC Fairness Doctrine was repealed, radio stations would rarely play 99 Luftballons because, if they did, they’d also have to air Henry Kissinger’s bloviating response to the song lyrics in which he praised the “Clausewitzian sagacity” of nuclear first strike capability

We should have never doubted this man

I hope all these important people are glad they spent the last two and a half years, and indeed several decades, helping to smooth over America’s horrifying imperial rule over the Middle East. And some shit-hot excuses, because every current government is going to get voted out pronto for this.

Stop vibe coding! Read a book, learn to actually program, and then add groupchats to this silly website. Jesus Christ

My favorite dino has always been Saltopus: sleek, nimble, and rhymes with “sourpuss”

Hope he has a good dinner but I’m glad he’s finally facing the executioner

“Blowing up the core” is the mark of a savvy and far-seeing NBA general manager, yet is also what got me fired from my plant operator job at Three Mile Island. 🤔 Double standard, much?

earned helplessness

How did oil prices *fall* w/ the blockade of Iranian ports & no prospect whatsoever of the Strait of Hormuz opening? Do bulk trading algorithms reflect nothing more than keywords of Axios tweets? There’s gonna be a physical shortage long before the vaunted laws of free market capitalism take effect

Ahmed hosted Al Jazeera’s The Stream, where we used social media to narrate the trajectory of the Arab uprisings and crowdsource questions to hold power to account. He’s a pioneer in this field. His jailing over online speech is particularly enraging. Terrifying sign of what’s to come. Free Ahmed.

Voters in a small Missouri town, unhappy with the city council’s approval of a $6B data center, ousted all four incumbent council members running for reelection

People blame lead paint, but my psychoanalytic hypothesis is that Comedy Central constantly aired Fletch (1985), Back To School (1986), etc. in the 90s. Rodney Dangerfield, Sam Kinison, & Chevy Chase characters consequently became the Gen X male ego ideal, & Trump is basically a combination of all 3

Great: I crossed a Zoomer and a Silent Generation pensioner using the telepod from The Fly, and the mutated result is now inhaling aerosolized Geritol with a vape pen

English Prof: You can’t appeal to what authors indented in literary criticism! That’s a fallacy Me: OK. Martika - Toy Soldiers is about how a consolidation of the defense industry into 5 private companies (”toymakers”) diminished US military effectiveness despite huge budgets Prof: NO! Not like THAT

“No!!! You can‘t make particular claims in the domain of special metaphysics!!! Things in themselves are beyond the purvey of our synthetic a priori faculty!!!” Sorry, Immanuel. I absolutely can make such assertions. For instance: I know with epistemic certainty that Satan is a Lakers fan…

I’m looking forward to the blockade of the blockade of the blockade, a maneuver so confusing it will end all wars forever and somehow widen the Strait of Hormuz permanently.

wait…they’re actually *doing* the blockade of the blockade? lol

If I were president, I’d abuse my power by sending messages to my wife via Axios leaks. Suddenly Barak Ravid would start tweeting “🚨 tacos tonight?” to a mystified world

(in front of 100,000 people) ok just gotta watch an ad first haha… damn Cascade dishwasher soap looks like some dope shit. five more seconds til I can skip

I don’t even have words for this.

The Milwaukee Bucks have named Professor Jiang as interim head coach

spent more than 100 milliseconds looking at a Frank Frazetta illustration on Instagram, and Meta’s recommendation algorithm has consequently determined that I must be the horniest person to ever live

In 2015, Bud Light transformed Roanoke Island into Whatever, USA: a party paradise where ska music thumped raucously, and American-style lager flowed freely. Then the town disappeared. Only one cryptic trace of the revelers remained: the word “BROATAN,” carved in a tree…

Pope Leo’s weekly convocations are no longer “hot”

The Thousand Week Reich

Did Iran make maximalist demands without a willingness to compromise? Maybe. But it strikes me as more likely that the US delegation was out of its league, wouldn’t even pretend to restrain Israel in Lebanon, & assumed Iran would give up everything in a 1 session…For this we face a major catastrophe

I think it is clear that one aspect of the US mismanagement of the war and now the negotiations is simply racism. They can't understand the way that they were outmaneuvered. And they can't accept it.

I was cautiously optimistic about the ceasefire because as insane/erratic/evil as Trump and Netanyahu are, Iran clearly has the high hand (all anyone cares about in the corridors of US power is money, and the IRI can make a lot of money disappear), but it looks like I may have been wrong. God dammit