The person I am today had barely, if at all, begun to exist when I was 19 years old.

lol imagine being a spanish fan tonight staying up all night to party, flying back home tomorrow, and then having to go back into the office 2-3 weeks from now

Portland is indeed lovely this time of year.

It has to be so incredibly miserable to live like this.

If soccer was always like this it would’ve blown up in America decades ago.

“Keep, ancient metropoleis, your robust creatures!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your jawless, your short-spined, Your malformed scavengers yearning to breathe free…”

Visualized.

“Hey y’all, y’all are so great. Y’all have made it a wild night, the wildest night since that NIGHT ON BALD MOUNTAAAAAAIINN!!!!!”

Lindsey Graham:

Look at this guy

Something the military will have to do to regain the trusted position it once held in society is confront the role it played in these affronts, and identify and punish the uniformed leaders responsible.

BRUV.

so hormone therapy is cool now r wut

[whole platoon dies, listed cause "gooning"]

This is the greatest office I have ever worked in

Can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize the World Cup trophy looks like a teste.

i had no idea this would become so literal

The French player might’ve gotten away with that penalty if he hadn’t been so French about it

Foreigners are coming to our country and taking raccoons that once belonged to good hard working Americans.

There is that small percentage of "celebrities" who convey a personal depth and decency which makes their passing all the more painful. Watch his eyes at the beginning; watch the memories flooding back; watch the pause to keep his emotions from overpowering him. www.youtube.com/watch?v=__7n...

I’ve seen a whole lot of dunking on the English for not having air conditioning and not enough dunking on the English for not stocking their grocery stores with Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio Pistachio ice cream.

Hoooo buddy. Buddy buddy buddy…

i stand corrected

That was fun

Ngl being in a pub in England for this game is an absolutely fkn rad experience

I’ve heard an American say “argy-bargy” the same number of times I’ve heard a Brit unironically say “Bob’s your uncle.”

The English philosophy regarding foreign motorists:

It is a very nice evening in the Real Not America

we are scarily close to general artificial intelligence

Christ, what a patently unfit, pants-pissing crybaby.

This would be the dumbest way possible for INDOPACOM to finally gain primacy.

I saw Mitch McConnell and Elaine Chao in the closet for twenty minutes and they were making babies in the closet and the baby looked at me.

Sir may I interest you in a Goat Log?

I have harbored an intractable hatred of mustaches since I was a kid because bushy-lipped Jeff Hostetler quarterbacked the NY Giants when they knocked the 49ers out of the NFC Championship Game in 1991, thereby denying them a Super Bowl three-peat.

People love a large white guy. They can do anything: score a goal, unscrew a cap, be jack reacher, and people will be like Large! Man!

You want to see Norway men’s national football team’s official photo for World Cup 2026 www.nytimes.com/athletic/733...

Norway defeated England in a World Cup qualifier in Oslo on September 9, 1981. Which led to this—the greatest call in sports broadcasting history. Kick rocks, Maggie Thatcher.

"Got any ideas for that Beech-Nut Gum ad?" "I was thinking a circus clown and strong man sharing a couple sticks backstage." "And they're in love, right?" "Of course they're in love."

It’s a splendid evening in the Real Not America™️

15 year old me would’ve snorted this up like a fistful of cocaine

A week that ends with an idiot dog chasing a ball is a good week.

Escaped Giraffe Unable To Be Located https://theonion.com/escaped-giraffe-unable-to-be-located/

Dr. Pulaski, I believe your earlier claim to be wrong. It only takes one Klingon warrior to change a light bulb. There is no ritual. Worf

this is the closest thing to an age verification law i would ever consider supporting

It is a very pleasant evening in the Real Not America™️