New Metaphor just dropped

The way people on this app feign obtuseness just have something to type needs to be studied by science

All I’ma say is it’s a bunch of people in MSG who can afford $10,000 tickets. Y’all do with that what you will, NYC. Siri, play “Ante Up” pls

“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4!!!”

Time to burn down the Times Square Olive Garden

I can’t even process dairy anymore but yeah

Is there a personal pan pizza involved or nah

The party’s outside in front of Los Tacos anyway

Stephen A Smith doing ads for a car-warranty company that is essentially a scam is so on point. Do not buy car-shield. Most reputable shops will not deal with them. There are legit aftermarket extended coverages out there. But buy the manufacturers one if you can. It'll be best. Trust me.

Poor result for Steyer in Orange County, continuing a trend of Southern California counties, with the exception of Los Angeles, falling substantially short of his benchmark.

*cues “Curb Your Enthusiasm” song*

Trump is going to do the Ninja Rap

What did you people think the 90s classic “Return of the Mack” was about, precisely? Papers? Vibes??

I watched a friend’s Panamanian wife try a Long Island iced tea for the first time last night. She was unprepared. She asked if they use premium liquor to make it and I said “it’s not from the “premium” part of Long Island. They should’ve named it a Staten Island iced tea.”

YOU KNOW WHAT

There’s a short list of people who can pack stadiums and charge astronomical prices. And since no one at the World Cup is singing “Blow” I don’t think they’ll be joining that short list.

You gotta be kidding me

Is Mills still on the ballot?

Chris Wright has a master's in electrical engineering from MIT and absolutely understands "batteries" as well as any five-year-old child, but you see, he took a job in the Trump administration so he has to pretend he's just as stupid as the boss.

I see the creator of Euphoria is a graduate of The Wire school of uneven last seasons.

The animated movie was just fine on its own. No one asked for this.

Shot. Chaser.

All these middle aged people beefing somebody’s gonna pull a muscle

Sometime I genuinely wonder if people who write articles want to take a swing at the folks who post about those articles on social media. Because this tweet does the article no favors.

No one wants to risk their license for this nonsense

Herb behavior.

60 Minutes is about to become TMZ

Tears

Do they think that only city folk use airports?

Blazing Saddles

Wow. Cornyn gotta do something petty on his way out. Cassidy too.

What if taxing the rich works?

🎾 our fashionable tennis star Naomi Osaka is playing her #RolandGarros26 match. She is looking in control as she won the 1st set 6-3.

Good.

Wow.

The BBQ’s in Times Square burns tonight.

That episode of Top Chef was uncomfortable to watch

FRIED. Clearly in avocado oil.

James Harden’s commitment to defense is like mine to cutting carbs

Let's make billionaires pay their fair share and find out

Sister Sage deserved so much more.

Justice for Ambrosius.

Who asked for this

Sad divorced dad but make it FASHION

Toy in the Cracker Jacks box years old

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, Ralph and Johnny too

No seriously does his team like him??

"'Suozzi seems to be the only Democrat in New York without the backing of both Hakeem Jeffries and Kathy Hochul,' mentioned an anonymous official[.]" I'm right here, @governor.ny.gov, @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social. You could back a real Democrat instead of your biggest disappointment. Be brave!

Old twitter would’ve had #sadDrakebars full of jokes and trending for days. Would’ve lit him up Paula Deen style.