What the hell, @moderation.bsky.app?

What are the odds that I would win tickets to TWO comedy clubs on the SAME DAY?!

forget golden hour, its fishtopher hour

Hello my name is Alex Goldman and I used to host the Reply All podcast. A lot of people liked that show. Now I make @hyperfixedpod.bsky.social which if you liked reply all you’d probably like well. The thing is that a lot of people who liked Reply All don’t know my new show exists.

@heyscoops.bsky.social New Patreon level: Scoops get to listen to @mindnoodler.bsky.social’s call with America’s favorite public defender after Duke loses in the NCAA tournament.

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

I think it is really important for us to understand just how big of a defeat the We Are All Charlie Kirk thing was, because I don't feel like there has been much writing about the larger meaning of it

Four drawings of bottles

The Uniqueen

Am I missing a setting on @bsky.app that will keep posts from appearing multiple times in my feed? Example: USER A, who I follow, posts content. USER B, who I also follow, reposts USER A. I then see this post twice. If not, I hope @phoenix.tapbots.com is thinking about this.

We have a perfect Rectangular February coming up, first time we’ve had one since 2015 Maybe this is what finally closes the loop and fixes the world

Look for the helpers

Me, a square: Them, a true quadrilateral fan:

Gonna ask Meryl Streep to give me one of her Oscars

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn’t Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, or Alice in Chains.

I witnessed someone at the grocery store sorting through sealed packages of chicken while using a plastic bag as a glove so as not to touch them. If you can’t even touch the package, how in the fuck are you going to bring yourself to eat the damn bird?

I think Jake Paul should try returning serves from Venus Williams next

shrimply having a wonderful fishmas time

America, you've spoken loud and clear: you do not like being stabbed in the dick with an ice pick. But what if stabbing yourself in the dick with an ice pick is the only way to fight, idk, climate change or whatever?

Day 14 of Things I Don't Usually Draw.... and I immediately apologize for it... Spongemonkeys. Can't recall a time that drawing these has ever come up, actually.

The nation's longest winning and losing streaks end tonight. Florida (W12) loses to Arizona and The Citadel (L22) beats the Flying Fleet of Erskine. (The only acceptable reason to schedule a non-D1 is to break a 22 game losing streak.)

I need a refresher from @kevingoldstein.bsky.social on the qualifying factors for Weird Baseball.

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

“I just wanted to have a good time by being cruel to random strangers I hate, and they wouldn’t let me”

I don’t care how many lives he saved, you’re never gonna convince me that Ixnay on the Hombre isn’t his best work.

I love not only that this is true but that Dexter Holland is as much of a Guy Fieri-ass frosted tips goober as ever, he just sort of took a break from the HB pop punk scene to be centrally involved in curing AIDS and is now back focusing on his "Gringo Bandito" hot sauce

when samus pops off their suit at the end of a game I bet it smells fuckin crazy in there

may Mr Lover light your path

@sewart.bsky.social Were you aware of the RSVLTS Sonic shirts? I’m not sure if they ship to Canada, and they’re not cheap. I own a few, and they’re fantastic quality and very comfortable. www.rsvlts.com/search?q=sonic

Just a reminder before the “big announcement” today. Autism was discovered in 1911 and the modern definition of Autism came in 1943. Tylenol wasn’t widely used until the 1950s. Anyone trying to tell you that Tylenol causes Autism isn’t someone that should be taken seriously.

Also, note to self: Finish Dr. Seuss’s 1001 Uses For Vaginal Juices (I stalled out at #867)

I had a slightly embarrassing realization today. The classic Bellamy Brothers lyric “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” is a double entendre.

Anyone else just get a confirmation email on a Metroid Prime 4 preorder that dates back to when the Best Buy gamer club still had a 20% discount? It’s gonna be over 5 years old by the time it ships! @midimyers.com @jasonschreier.bsky.social @p1podcast.com

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

Proud of @heyscoops.bsky.social for being ahead of the curve on this one. www.fuckgladwell.com

"Some birds aren't meant to be caged; their feathers are too bright. When they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend." -Donald Trump, about Jeff Epstein

*Megadeth bass line plays* “Hi, I’m Kurt Loder with MTV News.”

If I am ever given any sort of terminal diagnosis, I'm going to announce that I've been bought by private equity

What a burden to be old enough to know who Dean Cain is