The Skylions are the most 80s ass toy commercial cartoon bullshit. Gotta make a whole earworm theme song that explains the entire premise and what their stupid personalities are. Like the bronze one is a party dude and the silver guy is just autistic.

Reasonably pleased with how the Jerk Hole is coming together.

Watching this movie for the first time like, wow that's grim. I'll never become an ethereal burnout watching a dozen TVs in a shack in the desert. Watching it now: well, fuck.

Sometimes I post some shit on the internet and then immediately delete it and that's just what the NSA calls bonus content

Stoned realization that I just snapped my fingers in a scorpion's face and was like no fuck off over there. Don't know if I'd have tried that if I thought about it. But she was like fine I'll go around, rude motherfucker.

Forgot I modded the interdimensional dance club music to daft punk remixes so I just live here now. Also I like roleplaying a bartender who is way too distracted to listen to some bullshit like whatever drink you actually want. You all get a Coors Light.

Back in the day, playing this in my jeep cus it's hilarious Mum, not realizing it's about a cartoon echidna: This is so sad he should trust people more 🥺 Me: If he had maybe he'd still be alive She probably still thinks Knuckles is a real rapper that died in the 90s m.youtube.com/watch?v=r8sB...

Made it so instead of rocks CEO hits things with giant rubies and emeralds and shit. After fights the ground is covered in gemstone fragments the size of cats. Closest I could get to just beating people to death with money.

I've got a cursed trunk specifically so when I die the nieces and nephews are going to have to go throughall the lament configurations and behelits and treasure maps that lead to shit like the Homestuck Epilogues or a cross stitch of Foreverial Tiedup Fully Delitized Pikachu.

Finally hit level fifty with this shit. Dropped about a bil on kit and the dude is literally untouchable now.

Need to stop vaguely referring to exes as like The Soldier or The Librarian or whatever. Sounds like I'm a serial monogamist with a thing for renegade Time Lords.

"Did you know Perfect Day is actually about heroin?" Man, shut the fuck you. You know if Lou Reed wanted to write a song about heroin he'd just write a song about heroin. Cus he did. It's called Heroin.

People shouldn't be so defensive when they see someone making different choices than them. It doesn't necessarily mean they're judging you. I definitely judging you, though. I think you're wrong and stupid and I'm better than you.

stupit potato

Hitting the internet like a whale briefly surfacing for air but all that's up here is the exploding restaurant scene from Brazil.

Camera zooms out to reveal Chuck Tingle at a typewriter in a bookstore window. He picks up the finished manuscript for "Pounded in the Butt by the Physical Manifestation of my Relief at Having a Mouth and Not Needing to Scream". Fade to black.

Love. Let me tell you how much I've come to love you since I began to live. There are 61.44 thousand miles of blood vessels that fill my body...

Everybody knows the universe with the shitty Sinbad genie movie but you never meet anyone from the one where Wesley Snipes was the best Joker

There's a thing somewhere in the spaceship that goes PING every day around noon. It's never at exactly the same time though. There's also a place where if you step there about once a day it goes GONG and doesn't do it again until tomorrow and it's making me a bit nuts. Motor homes are unsettling.

Time for springtime maintenance and discovery that at some point past me fixed the engine with a paper clip and a wad of bubblegum again. God I hate that guy.

I'm apparently from the sliders universe where Mambo No. 5 just doesn't exist. I've seen it memed on and whatnot but I've never actually heard this fucking song before in my life. I assumed it must be comparatively new. We also didn't have pickleball. I swear that shit is made up.

Been so long since I played this guy I forgot that American Evil's superpower is just "has a gun."

Nothing sucks quite like having nightmares about fighting someone and waking up sad because they're dead and now you'll never get to kill them yourself.

If you're ever feeling happy sappy nostalgia for the 90s it helps to remember that this vapid dogshit was the number one single in America for seventeen miserable shit bastard weeks.

Leave them alone you bastard

Haha idiot I'm actually 47.

Takes a special kind of game to perfectly capture the feeling of being a washed up old rock star

TIER PARGON PARGON ARETAK PARGON PARGON XEL'LOTATH MOTHERFUCKIN PARGON

This is now a The New Monkees 30th anniversary countdown account. Only five months until the 30th anniversary of The New Monkees!

Living my best life. "Dominatrix is drowning!" This isn't about her.

Caught this corn flakes lookin ass rooster flirting with my pink flamingoes.

Proposing the opposite of the dark forest strat where you just blast Queen in all directions. Would-be invaders start picking up We Will Rock you and Princes of the Universe and are like nope, fuck that. These guys are nuts and also want to fuck bicycles? We'll just go around.

Fully back on my bullshit

Proverbs 26:11

City of Heroes is still in America

Going back home feels like that one aesop except winter comes and the ant has student loan debt and an underwater mortgage and the grasshopper is like, yeah I read comics and play videogames and also I live in a treehouse or some shit. No, that is my job. It sucks actually.

Once in a blue moon I roll out of the willywacks like a groundhog emerging from its den and see that fast food is seriously like twelve bucks for the worst thing you've ever eaten in your life

This game is so old the cellphone emote is a nokia brick

The best if you want to hang out in a corner and spam one button without looking at the screen cus you have other shit to do (drinking)

He can't, he's trapped in ice. I half suspect the single frame was left as a joke given that his line here is literally "I can't!"

all they can get when the villains put me in the mind probing chair

Taking a mental health day to get zooted and drink chardonnay on the beach (beach is a whole ass desert)

"Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence—those are the three pillars of Western prosperity. If war, waste, and moneylenders were abolished, you'd collapse."

establishing my own nation state for autisic queerdos (raft of empty whiskey bottles lashed together with chicken wire)

Most sociopathic p-zombies have the sense to keep their lack of sapience under their hat, if only so soul equipped normies don't beat them to death with hammers.

TIL that there's a FFX-2 sequel audio drama where Tidus kicks an old sea mine he mistook for a blitzball and is unceremoniously vaporized in front of Yuna and I think that's beautiful.

hors

"Bluh bluh now is not the time to be angry with democrats" Don't tell me who not to get mad at. I have enough angry for everyone. I will come to your house and shit in your toaster.

Sometimes I forget that pet names for TV shows aren't universal and people don't know wtf Space Dad Does War Crimes is.

Does anyone remember what the hell 90s ass chat we were using cus we need to bring this stupid shit back