He can't, he's trapped in ice. I half suspect the single frame was left as a joke given that his line here is literally "I can't!"

all they can get when the villains put me in the mind probing chair

Taking a mental health day to get zooted and drink chardonnay on the beach (beach is a whole ass desert)

"Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence—those are the three pillars of Western prosperity. If war, waste, and moneylenders were abolished, you'd collapse."

establishing my own nation state for autisic queerdos (raft of empty whiskey bottles lashed together with chicken wire)

Most sociopathic p-zombies have the sense to keep their lack of sapience under their hat, if only so soul equipped normies don't beat them to death with hammers.

TIL that there's a FFX-2 sequel audio drama where Tidus kicks an old sea mine he mistook for a blitzball and is unceremoniously vaporized in front of Yuna and I think that's beautiful.

hors

"Bluh bluh now is not the time to be angry with democrats" Don't tell me who not to get mad at. I have enough angry for everyone. I will come to your house and shit in your toaster.

Sometimes I forget that pet names for TV shows aren't universal and people don't know wtf Space Dad Does War Crimes is.

Does anyone remember what the hell 90s ass chat we were using cus we need to bring this stupid shit back

coughing baby clears if he has prep time

Day 15,188 of waiting for aliens to abduct my ass for being good at videogames

losing my religion

Happy being smug about never upgrading from IRC and phpBB day to those who celebrate

Macbeth: FUCK

I'm no expert on superbowl ads that precede a bubble collapse but I'm picking up vibes

This the season.

Kid looks fake

Dreamed ppl kept looking at me funny or giggling while I walked past until I got home and looked in the mirror and there was text hovering over my head that said Lord Fagula cus someone had name tagged me like a Minecraft mob

guess it's time to blow the jpg artifact dust off of this one

"Get in boner, we're going boning."

Context:

Titled something like "Defeat" or "The Futility of Desire" or some shit

oops

Left picking up after an absolute rager of a wake. Forgot what the dwarven side of the family is like. On the plus side I've found enough leftover booze and drugs to stuff at least one of the smuggling holds, which I'll be keeping as a cleaning fee.

it feels weird that star treks is final fantasy 8 now

I'm fine.

When multiple family members die in the same week and you inherit all the firearms because you're the "responsible one"

I'd like to be doing some JSRF shit right now but my knees are basically dust from doing JSRF shit twenty-five years ago.

Historians are all "well, a lot of this was probably exaggeration written by political enemies" while people actually living through the fall of empires are like "nah fam, appointing a horse to the senate wasn't even the most fucked up thing that dipshit did just this week."

Who let the annoying ass eight year old into the Commodore 64 chat room Weirdly, this digivolved into America OnLine in 1989

Watching someone play Hytale and their spawn has a railroad and an iron mine right there. They're like "oh, they give you a starter chest?" No, they do not. You are just God's favorite idiot. My doors opened up on a pile of rocks and a fucking bear.

Everybody: Let's make a world where nothing sucks for anyone ever. Because of spores or a big computer or whatever. *Enterprise shows up* Everybody: Well, fuck.

Talk to the nieces and nephews without sounding like the preamble to a boss fight challenge: Impossible

We need more girls in STEM if we're going to defeat the Bacterian Empire

Whole damn family in one place and got their laundry mixed up. Nieces arguing about whose hot pink pirate flag booty shorts are these. *Plucks them off the pile* "Those are mine." :o :o

Waking up and frantically googling some shit at five AM "Wtf are you doing?" "I have to know if the bee girl is alright" "From the blind melon video?" "yeah..." "Oh. How is she?" "she's fine, she's like forty and works in a fertility clinic" "Oh good." Zzzzzzz

I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY

Today seems like a good day to wander out into the desert and smoke an absolute shitload of hash. I mean, every day is but today is too.

¬_¬

A whole lot of window licking dipshits:

quick strangle 2026 while it's still small and helpless

Fuck all this we're doing deresolutions now.

Dude out of the blue that just froze at the sight of me, took out a flip phone and started snapping pictures while screaming "YOU'RE A FELONY! YOU'RE A FELONY!" Just a guy with brain problems having a day, but memorable. Friends still call me a felony after that cus he weren't wrong.

this fuckin slaps youtu.be/kVYgvrvL4k8