My wife and her friends are watching Steel Magnolias, so I casually threw out a classic "...The way she just [clenches fist] steals all that frickin magnolia..." and let me tell you, the gap between online and offline people is probably the biggest cultural divide we face today.

Critics will says this isn't a Christmas crime though, as it could have been set at any other time of year.

It’s good to know that if you post good enough strangers will remember you fondly.

this Arsenal/Villa game could really do with being contested under death-match rules

Welcome to the Premier League - the best league in the world, where the best players battle it out at the highest level to show-- wait we've had a goal. Yep that's right, a player has somehow scored a headed own goal direct from a penalty they were taking up the other end. Best in the world.

Have just blocked my second (2nd) person ever on this platform. Yay? The crime was saying that there are no good Godzilla films.

1) set World Cup ticket prices at an absurd premium 2) blacklist anyone who tries to buy them at that price from attending the tournament 3) distribute the tickets for free

"Rabbits just explode sometimes" is first class imho

Treating my car to four new tyres for the new year, as the wear is well out of synch and it's easier to just have a complete reset. In unrelated news, I'll be living off dirt and air for the next month.

I queued behind Kieron Gillen in Bath HMV in the 90s* *probably (completely unprovable but a statistical near-certainty)

The Max Headroom Signal Intrusion wouldn't happen today. It would be some coalition of YouTubers and they'd take credit for it the same day, before using the buzz to launch a new clothing line containing previously undiscovered allergens

yeah i studied the blade (watched the 1998 movie "Blade" starring Wesley Snipes as Blade)

I'm old enough to remember when fake photos would get you fired in disgrace and set on the road to become Venom (Spider-Man 3; Sam Raimi, 2007)

Proper "play to the whistle" goal that. Maybe the ref should have stopped play, but he didn't, so maybe focus on defending?

The month-or-so where Saints looked unstoppable was really nice. I enjoyed that time.

That empty box that comes up at the start of Sky's EFL replay logo is so annoying. Makes the graphic look unfinished.

wow, sorry. Deleting now. I didn’t know she was French

"Hi, I'm a website. I've covered myself in ads, making the entire user experience appalling. I offer no alternative to this, but will shut you out entirely if I think you're using an adblocker." How about no? How about you encourage me to use your site?

Dune Go Unchained

The last few days did not move the main story forward AT ALL. It's just a guy eating little treats and doing nothing. And so many plot holes. He says, "no more little treats," and then he's eating another little treat in literally the next scene.

The answer is, as ever, "I should be able to say and do what I want, while other people shouldn't be allowed to do stuff I don't like"

I don't want to provide home security I want to turn people into dinosaurs

I went to see the new Anaconda remake (well it's not really a remake, it's a trying-to-be-meta movie about people trying to remake Anaconda, which would be clever if not for the fact that it's absolute garbage) and it was absolute garbage However there is a scene that's been stuck in my head since:

Me: [watches a video explaining a certain thing, made by a rational and informed expert] The YouTube algorithm: hey, wanna watch a dozen angry videos about why that certain thing sucks???

jeremy strong in the springsteen movie looks like they made an oscar bait minions adaptation

I can't believe there's no football on Boxing Day apart from a full fixture list in the Championship, League 1, League 2, National League, National League N/S, five Welsh games, four slices of AFCON, and one game in the Barclays

Okay so it turns out this is the Christmas that I finally watch Love Actually

I need your clothes, your boots, your motorcycle, and your Turboman doll

Home Alone, with your name like someone being disparaging about Post Malone

I mean fair play. They'll dodge all the criticism from people who misunderstood the ending to the second one if nobody goes to see it

It's a shame that the Muppets stopped with A Christmas Carol, when there are other Carols they could also have adapted, such as Carol (2015) and probably another as well, I don't know, I'm not the library of film

Watching The Snowman, or Raymond Briggs’ Frankenstein as it’s also known.

If the me from 20 years ago saw the internet in its current state, he'd immediately take my laptop offline and run twelve adware scans on it

And to Tiny Tim...

SCROOGE: you there, boy! what day is it? BOY: i don't know, i'm like six SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone

Men only want one thing and it's to take their own spine out, give it a good shake (maybe iron it?) and then put it back in

[first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: [pointing] star boss: what? why me: [shrugging] baby

Me about to sneak in a food shop on the last Sunday before Christmas

One day something will happen — a wedding, a graduation, a job promotion, Jake Paul getting knocked out, Andrew Tate getting knocked out the next day — and you’ll want the right outfit to celebrate. Buy that special outfit now, so you’re ready when that next unexpected moment arrives.

Andrew Tate getting beaten with pink gloves is also v funny

Did Tate even *try* explaining to his opponent that he's an alpha male?

Hadn't seen this before. Have now watched it 12 times

Shortest day, team! We made it! It's all "getting sunnier" from here! For six months anyway then it's all getting darker and before you know it we'll be back here again.

cool, cool cool

Me: I don’t see the appeal of boxing TV: OK but what if it’s professional boxers savagely brutalizing influencers Me: