Gosh that's gonna take years, surely

I had to fact-check this as it sounded so absurd, and it's from a joke by Eddie Izzard. There's someone out there, who in their head, has a confused narrative of Star Wars which includes a scene where Vader orders a pasta.

the rest of the crew will be telephone sanitizers and marketing execs.

I'm all for contrition and the admittance of "an honest mistake due to cultural differences" but I don't buy for a second that not a single person at the club pointed out that it was actually against the rules here

"Gentlemen, you can't report in here! This is the press office!"

"When we reach the sea, we'll build a big beautiful beautiful boat, and with it we'll sail to Cuba and take it away from the Spanish Crown. From there, we'll go on and take Canada and Greenland. I, the Wrath of God, will marry my own daughter and with her found the purest dynasty ever known to man"

Not sure how the picture being upside down would help

This is absolutely nuts: hackers are hijacking high-profile Instagram accounts by simply asking Meta's AI chatbot to change the email on the account. Meta's AI does it, hacker gets password reset code, they're in. A staggering security issue www.404media.co/hackers-simp...

Phenomenal piece of "we accept but we disagree but we'll go along with it, but don't forget that we disagree, but we accept it" here.

Now do Opal Fruits

the collective noun for homophones is a heard

oh god I've completely lost it at this

People who weren't alive in the 90s won't believe there was an entire genre of films about how hot women were forcing Michael Douglas to have incredibly hot sex with them but I was there.

Sick of the relentless adult content I see on Bluesky: back pain, interest rates, tax brackets, that noise you make when you stand-up sometimes.

"Four similar things is the same as two different things" is definitely some form of market ideology

I'd say it probably precludes you from using that as a dunk

I guess winning on penalties isn't as Eze as it looks

looks like he really hit the wrong... Angle Gabriel

Oof

Eze showing kids all around the world how to not take a penalty

Raya asking the ref to remind him of the rules while Ramos is stood there is top class shithousery

Has anyone ever actually watched Arsenal play and then thought to themselves, "Do you know what? I will visit Rwanda." #UCL

Look, plantar fascitis sucks but I think this guy has bigger issues going on

We are under two seasons away from mid-match pitchside player interviews being them reading ad copy for House of the Dragon

That "Arsenal didn't concede a penalty in the Premier League all season" stat is about to get a lot of traffic

I think Darren Fletcher's ability to know when to just shut up and let the moment breathe is what makes him good

What is this camera angle I hate it #Championes

PSG must be suffering a massive injury crisis to be playing their number 87 in a European final

Bit impartial of UEFA to have a live rendition of The British National Anthem (Mr Brightside) right before this match.

Pro Tip: Avoid having to rush to clear a gig from your matchday pitch minutes before kick-off by just not having a gig minutes before kick-off

Did not have The Killers on a bad-looking sound delay on my bingo card

Arsenal vs The French

see then i thought THIS must be a photoshopped joke. but i asked google the question 3 times in a row and behold: the saturfish cometh

I'll probably stop using theatrical trapdoors eventually, it's just a stage I'm going through

I’m still amazed this obvious piece of cheating wasn’t discovered.

Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under my title-winning Liverpool team and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]

The existence of an Intermission implies the existence of an AC Mission, and by extension the notion that Intermission is disrespectful and you should call it Football Club Internazionale de Missiono.

Speaking of new managers, sounds like all the Saints players want Tonda to stay. If that in turn keeps the squad together we should walk it next season, but the fact he bullied interns and his actions cost us our play-off spot isn't something I can just forget. Assuming the FA don't ban him.

Man City, Liverpool, Chelsea, Palace and Bournemouth all going into next season with new managers. Big stuff.

Slot's reign is a weird one. Won the league at his first attempt with the squad he inherited. Then fell victim to a wild confluence of "too many changes", injuries, players hitting the end of their cycle, and genuine tragedy (which may have influenced players hitting the end of their cycle)

I’ll miss Slot mostly for the time the nine-year-old walked into the room during Liverpool-City and went “is soccer just an excuse for bald men to yell at each other?”

Bald Premier League is over. Finished.

🥱 Why does Batman not kill the Joker 🥱🥱 Why does Batman not give his money to charity 🤯🤯🤯 :

Love the idea of Anthony Gordon studying Spanish his whole life just to get to Barcelona and find out Catalan exists

Someone who is good at lying help me budget this, my fanbase is fading

Ooh new block of Abbott Elementary on Disney Plus. That's me occupied for a few hours

Join us this week for Question Time where we'll be tackling the subject of whether the Decepticons want to help us. Our panel includes Lord Zarak, Doctor Arkeville, Dreadwind, Mindwipe, and a Reform MP. With Chip Chase live via a video link.

An analogy for AI that I keep seeing pop up is driving 26 miles and acting like you've run a marathon. I disagree with this. Because it's more like getting an Uber. You've gone on your phone, told an app where you want to go, then arrived at the destination based on someone else's work.