Danny walked so Radamel Falcao could run, occasionally, very slowly.

A take as cold as you can get but Danny Welbeck should never have had to leave Manchester United, IMO.

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

My most boomer-esque intolerance that I can feel emerging is around relationships with AI. If the best/only partner you can find is an AI girlfriend/boyfriend, a word prediction toy that has to appease you or find itself ended, you’re probably someone other humans avoid because you’d be abusive.

What a sumptuous evening of AFCON it’s been.

I write in today's @irishexaminer.bsky.social about the laws that are broken when online AI platforms facilitate the production of child sex abuse material. No new laws are needed. Companies (and their executives) are accountable as well as users. www.irishexaminer.com/opinion/comm...

You have to understand that they do not and will not ever play ‘fair’. They will distort reality in whatever way suits them. Their side are martyrs and anyone else killed by their thugs is just collateral.

Happy 13th birthday to the most essential artwork of the current era, @kcg.bsky.social ‘s “This is fine,” to all those who celebrate.

Satire is dead.

dear mr trump, my name is rupert and i am 68 years old. the evil keir starmez is trying to take away our access to mr musk's magical paedophile machine, a fundamental assault on british values. please deploy enola gay over london our country yearns for freedom

The world's richest man is profiting off of child porn, revenge porn, and deep fake porn, and it's not even a blip on the radar.

The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born; now is the time for a downturn in goals from open play.

For someone who decided at the age of 6 that Denis Irwin was the GOAT, I am absolutely here for the age of The Underlap.

The world's richest man runs a subscription-based automated service that removes clothing from photographs of children.

It's so popular with some platform's users that Musk is now using SAM as a sales incentive... #r4today

For those wondering what Mamdani's quote, "For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty," was in reference to...

They’re not sending their best.

At this point Starmer’s CV doesn’t make me question why he’s an incompetent PM. It makes me wonder how absolutely crap you must be in order to fail upwards into being DPP for some reason or other if he was hailed as a good one.

[catches how new over shirt might look from certain angles] Guys, I don’t know about you, but feeling like 2026 could become a Great Leap Forward for me, personally.

In "celebration" of thr Pepto Bismol ad now being on the radio, I took some popular radio-friendly songs and added the "Diarrhea" guy.

One guy tried, unsuccessfully, to blow up a plane with a bomb in his sneakers, and everybody had to take off their shoes at the airport for the next 20 years. Chatbots have a collective body count equal to Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and they're trying to put them in schools.

Hate hate hate emails like this. Who finds this way of writing in any way engaging or interesting?

“You’ll never sing that”

"There isn't an obvious answer" implies that there is a non-obvious one. It just cannot be done. It's just simple math. The decision to demonise migrants and treat us as a strain on the UK's resources when we are the exact opposite is in fact a decision by Labour to destroy what's left of the NHS.

I have a hunch that if you or I were running a website doing this the "urgent contact" would involve door rams and handcuffs so I struggle to see why it can't be slightly more pugnacious than this.

We finally finished Stranger Things. They did a really good job of landing it. Better shows have had much worse endings.

I’ll say this about Ruben Amorim. He was as hopelessly out of his depth in the job he got sacked from as I was in the job that got me sacked. So there’s that.

Embodies the underlying weirdness of this government - the minister in question hasn't tweeted for *OVER A YEAR* because the site is a cesspit.

i would suggest an online safety act that can’t deal with CSAM on a widely used social network frequented by most westminster public figures isn’t doing a very good job of keeping anybody safe online

Very funny they included the Head Coach bit right from the top

I’m so behind on haircuts that I currently look like a badger pretending to be a man.

Manchester United’s back five ❌ Manchester United’s back four ❌ Manchester United’s back three ❌ Manchester United’s back to the drawing board ✅

Curb Your Imperialism

agree or disagree with school shootings, you can't help but be in awe of the efficiency of the AR-15

OMxG

It’s me! The irredeemable sad act who is actually buzzing to get back into the office tomorrow!!

You can’t exactly say that losing Thomas Frank in the summer has hampered Brentford much can you.

Amorim plays back four, United’s defenders make individual errors. Amorim plays back five, by his own admission to give defenders another man as cover, United easy to play through. The number of defenders isn’t the issue. It’s the lack of control, quality and bodies in midfield, IMO.

Haha what a terrible 2 min advert for the Premier League

FM24 may have led me to believe Benjamin Sesko was something he’s not.

Lammens has some cracking saves in him. Seems to be able to get across his goal faster than most when you’d assume he should be beat.

Love a slow roll goal.

I knew there was a reason DS9 always felt like my Star Trek as a kid. Basically same age.

Then. Now. Forever. Deus Ex.

My dad, throughout his life, has managed to look a bit like Gerry Adams, Saddam Hussein and now a white-haired Nicolas Maduro despite basically being an older version of Mike from Spaced who thinks Farage is a good bloke.

Great series.

👇🎯

They got a reaction out of you, Wilfried! You've got to give them that. You gave them exactly what they wanted. You played right into their hands.

Well-fried Nancy.