everyone should have a walkup song to their desk at work

Me: I went to a book release event last night. Coworker 1: What book? Me, unsure how they’ll take it: Uhhh it’s called “Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile” Coworker 1: God I wish we could do that. Coworker 2: that book sounds rad. Me: <relieved>

getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning

Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.

So the streamer Ludwig recently found out that one of his earliest regular viewers, who was trans, passed away and tonight he's doing a charity stream for the Trevor Project. So far he's raised over $46,000 in about 5 hours. www.twitch.tv/ludwig

TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence! Real conspiracies: To: conspirator From: famous person Attachment: evidence.png

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

There is nobody on earth that I love, respect, admire, or care about enough to say they should not also be brought down in flames if they are in the files. Not a one. Let em all burn. Important note: I neither love, respect, admire, nor care about Bill Clinton anyway tbh

QAnon: The powerful pedophiles have invented elaborate codes to secretly discuss their crimes that require decades of interpretation Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again

“Please please please I do not want you to release the thing that I am in no way a part of and/or exonerates me from one of the most heinous crimes possible. You should definitely not release that please I am begging you despite exonerating me” -a thing normal cool innocent dudes say

this should be obvious but the reason Trump is working desperately against Epstein transparency is because he's guilty

I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell on the Citadel.

Happy Exploding Whale Day! Get out there and make it count.

they can have James Bond just be a sentient jar filled with teeth and plasma

The worst part of living in Portland is that any time anything cool is happening in the sky between October and April, sorry but no it isn’t.

Counterpoint: yes nudes.

Counterpoint: It’s James Bond so yes you can nobody will give a shit. “Wow, Q’s new VR device to simulate what it’s like to be poisoned and blown to pieces works great. Now I’m going to see what else it can simulate being blown” then he puts the VR back on and you hear the famous Bond theme sting.

"Sure we suck and we never win anything, but fear not, America, we'll be back to lose another day."

a few months ago I said "having generative AI handle absolutely anything with regards to healthcare is a nightmare and should be banned" and a bunch of people made fun of me and called me stupid. anyways,

You, a person who cares what old dead guys thought: The founding fathers would not want this Me, a person who knows that eating a full meal at Taco Bell would have immediately killed Thomas Jefferson: cool story bro

history will ultimately decide this but i think joyce carol oates might have just landed the most devastating burn in human history. like the death star trench run of posting

Urbanist knitters, I need you to know about these mittens: www.ravelry.com/patterns/lib...

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

Absolute queen shit

Oh thank FUCK (Does it mean that they won't on another case? Not necessarily. But every day it's safe is a day it's safe, and every flimsy pretext they deny is reassuring for the rule of law in the land.)

Unfortunately still true bsky.app/profile/adam...

I thought the shutdown was the fight, did I get that wrong

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Democrats just swept the off-year elections -- and not just in blue states -- a resounding rejection of Republicans' authoritarian bullshit. It is an insult to Democratic voters, marketplace enrollees, and everyone who turned out on Tuesday for Schumer and Jeffries to cave.

My asshole elderly cat — who in fairness to him is probably very stressed by our packing for the move — walked into our bedroom, locked eyes with me, and unleashed a shit *on the carpet* that was so vile we had to evacuate the room. I love my cats. But sometimes they make it hard to love them.

Yes, they will. #WorldBollardAssociation

NOTHING can destroy a Cyber Truck….😎😏 #WorldBollardAssociation

He’s a dollar store Sully and as a Portlander I wouldn’t have him any other way.

I was in the grocery store yesterday when a song came on the Muzak system. Couldn’t place it at first but got a sense memory of playing the intro to it in junior high band in the fucking 90s. (The song was “Can You Feel the Love Tonight)

Look man I’m not a biblical scholar but I’m pretty sure that one of Jesus’ big things, like major huge thing was “you should feed the hungry” like if he drove a car he’d have a bumper sticker that said “give food to the hungry”

Me waiting for the bus omw to kick your ass

what a headline www.404media.co/nancy-pelosi...

Miss World Chile did is in a metal band. This was her talent portion at Miss World www.instagram.com/reel/DQuI2W7...

They have asked to boycott *if* they go on strike, so not yet! They have authorized the strike, but that isn't the same as going on strike- it just means the negotiating committee have the support from members to make the decision to do so. Currently they are giving corporate til next Thursday!

The union is calling on people to boycott btw!!

Magic: the Gathering should partner with Weebls Stuff to put like, Badgers and Magical Trevor, Narwhals, etc. on Magic cards. I would instantly become a Magic guy. You fucking know this is a good idea, Wizards of the Coast. Fucking do it, cowards.

the american mind cannot comprehend going 4 minutes without running over children

What if, and I cannot stress this enough, I drank enough caffeine to see through time, but not so much caffeine as to be perceived by the time goblins?

06 Nov 2025

the leader of the department of health literally runs away everybody else rushes to the hurt guy and the Make America Healthy Again guy says "I gotta get outta here" let a hundred gifs bloom

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything