At this rate Robert Jenrick will defect to Labour instead of Reform

*plucks guitar strings* "This is called stimming" "I think you mean 'strumming'" "I absolutely do not"

This guitar always plays itself at parties cuz it's bad at picking up on social cues

My dad abhors any negative comments about immigrants. Asked him recently why he’s so strong on it: ‘Because we’re always happy to take the rich and clever ones. Which means it’s not about disliking immigrants. It’s about disliking the poor and vulnerable. And that’s a bad human instinct.’

Wordle 1,632 2/6* ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Based on today’s results a loss Monday is catastrophic. Table is evening out now and we are at risk of being cut adrift of the European chasing pack.

Space Karen is taking a €120 million dollar DSA fine by the EU very very normally this morning

OMG THERE WAS A NOTIFICATION FROM THE UNITED APP AT 23:05 AND I REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONE 😭😭😭

Also when Ole finished 2nd people called for his head. Amorim can’t string wins together and suddenly you’ve the patience of saints? C’mon.

Let’s talk about Cunha. How did people get swept up to believe the guy who couldn’t cut it at Atletico Madrid was better than the guy Barcelona wanted 😂

Anything but a comprehensive battering if Wolves should see him gone.

Anyone still defending him now should seek help

All on the manager. Crap subs. No Mainoo. Ugarte. Shite.

Honestly, he pulled the wool over my eyes for a fair while by being pretty charismatic but that fucking song for him is the definition of blind optimism

Really glad we effectively brought Ugarte on for a striker. Fucking coward this manager

Preparing therapy kittens

JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat

Mí na Nollag? Mí na Mo Bhreithlá more like.

Oh look more defenders.

The he took shaw off before Dalot? Is he high?

Cohen said: “The itinerary was looking pretty full, to be fair. I’d have had to hang around the venue until about 11pm, which is usually the time I become a depleted husk of a woman. So this has worked out perfectly.”

Everton conceding in the first minute after Monday night is the most Everton thing in the history of Manchester United

The late Queen's passing affected different Brits in different ways.

Rose throwing the diamond into the ocean at the end of Titanic is not a symbolic gesture of love. It's a metaphor for how old people hoard the wealth for themselves instead of letting young people have some

Wordle 1,620 2/6* ⬜🟩🟨⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I’ve kind of teetered in that direction a few times but full ‘gerrim gone’ now. Can’t keep watching the same game play out with nothing being created and the onus to do so falling on one of the centre-backs, and that was the most egregious of the lot

Moyes winning his first game at old Trafford. Well done Berada you city plant.

He can’t keep his job surely he is absolutely spineless and pathetic!

We’re going absolutely nowhere under this manager, sorry. Sunk cost fallacy winning again

There’s an attacking player on the bench but god forbid we ever have less than three centre-backs on the field eh

That’s on Amorim not switching the formation to our advantage

There’s a few people claiming that he ‘did nothing wrong’ - if your colleague disagrees with the way you’re doing your job tomorrow, can they lose it, need restraining & put a hand in your face?

No sky. We are not a player up. Because we have 3 centre backs not 3 midfielders to take advantage of 😂

Why does AEW have their own logo in the middle of the ring? They should have a picture of a Prime bottle We already know what we're watching, but how will we know what beverage to drink to lower our lifespan by several years

I WALK FOR MILES INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER

Maybe what we got for Garnacho was a fair price after all.

Slot gone by Christmas?

Wordle 1,615 6/6* ⬜⬜🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Taken. But it’s Neeson and the rest of the cast are muppets

I’ve no evidence but I’m certain Connor is a síofra 🤣. How he gets out his buggy defies logic and human bones.

On Batuu for life day. @fullofsith.bsky.social would be proud.

On and off rise of the resistance in less time than the posted queue time by 15 minutes. Was done with the queue part in 20 minutes.

Troy Parrot was born in 2002, the year of Saipan.

Today I am reminded Troy Parrott lost a year of development because Levy and Mourinho wanted him to have HG status from the following season so didn’t loan him when he needed it.

"Do you ever get a lump in your throat? He's just doing so good," said an emotional Josie Parrott this evening. Troy Parrott's nanny was one of the proud family members nervously watching the Ireland v Hungary game in a busy pub on O'Connell Street in Dublin.

Thinking about Zinedine Zidane headbutting that man at his job for slagging his wife

Football 3 Fascism 2

Late, Late Troy Show

Zsa Zsa Gabor, Franz Liszt, Ferenc Puskas, Laszlo Biro, Adrien Brody, Joseph Pulitzer, bloke who invented the Rubiks Cube - can you hear us bloke who invented the Rubik's Cube? Solve that in 6+ minutes of added time!