finally watched the highlights of PSG vs Bayern first leg 🤢

all Jacobin output recently has reminded me of that bit in Stewart Lee's comedy vehicle where a torrent of liquid shit just starts pouring out of the television

there definitely will be wards where Green votes from Labour resulted in a Reform win. in fact there already has been. but that's their own stupid fault and you can't put it off forever.

the Democrats running a guy with a nazi tattoo is a great subplot. of course they are. subtext becomes text. would prefer not to have this knowledge but here we are. that's the world we live in.

the guardian really do know how to find em don't they. the second is so funny, it's completely obvious who is which age but they still feel the need to say this eyerolling stuff. oh yeah okay control your narrative. get back to your wellness seminar.

the level of Crystal Palace rotation here is going to melt people's brains, it'll be amazing

the concept of a "reader interview" immediately undermined by the headline question

BREAKING: Labour activists have been caught breaking electoral rules at multiple Scottish polling stations by putting party campaign material at voting booths

I don't disagree that these glasses are by and for wankers but surely the same applies equally to phones if people aren't just showboating here. What's the difference? You can say the concealment but if you're in a position to be smashing them, they clearly aren't concealed because you've seen them.

Some very Of Our Times patchnotes from The Sims

"Police say man is not suspected of involvement in the theft itself and the phone has not been recovered" How much do we reckon you'd need to pay someone to take the fall for that?

DETECTIVE HARRY HOLE: Its me, norways famous detective, Harry Hole. in Norway it's a normal name. POLICE CHIEF: Hole, I'm glad you're here, and that your name is normal, in our culture. this is a hell of a murder

returning to bluesky after many months away to share my BRAND NEW ALBUM "When You Were High". 12 new songs I've entirely written, produced & performed. working on a full streaming release, but, for now... SOUNDCLOUD: soundcloud.com/jack_fr/sets... BANDCAMP: jackfr.bandcamp.com/album/when-y...

this rascal just caught and devoured a whole bird

caught the hominahominavirus from seeing a foxy lady

was everyone aware of the short-lived National Express mascot known as "Bussy Bear"? can't think why he was withdrawn.

some great lines on labour mp tweets at moment do you prefer: ”Elections are a choice, not a referendum.” or “In many elections, votes don’t just reflect preference, they determine results.”

me blindly attempting to pick up every insect, lizard or bird I see in the jungle

www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdvic... future BBC crime drama in the making

Do NOT turn on the bidet and then stand up fully clothed with a dirty arsehole watching it like a water feature

I've come across some bad sci-fi/fantasy swearing in my time but I think "ninker" takes the biscuit. there's no way to inject venom into "ninker". just doesn't do it for me at all.

Canvassers should be given a list of photographs like when pubs bar people so that if they run into certain faces on the doorstep they can go "fuck, that's Julie Bindel!" and immediately vacate the premises before she has a chance to open her mouth

do you think Socrates took against poetry after attending one open mic session too many

“Too stupid, Draconian and plainly vexatious for David Blunkett” is quite a high bar to have leaped

I wrote this without looking anything up. But in case you'd like some analytics too, here's @gradientsports.bsky.social on Zubimendi: — #1 ranked midfielder at duels in the league — #1 ranked midfielder at aerial duels in the league — #5 ranked midfielder at 50/50 balls in the league

hostel is playing their usual "chillout vibes" jungle retreat playlist in the café but the kitchen staff are playing what sounds like hard house remixes of screamo songs, interesting aural mélange. someone is drilling as well.

I like it when ecologists editorialise about what legends the animals. charismatic! would you say they were lying?

something is seriously wrong at the Electoral Commission that they've not forced neo-nazi group Independent Green Voice to change their name. They steal Scottish Greens votes in Holyrood elections

✨Prompt Engineering✨

Just tested 6 postcodes where Labour is predicted to finish 4th or lower and this website still advised to vote Labour there Absolute charlatans

disconcerting to see people writing in Spanish on reddit and realise that reddit is an international language. they're all tedious millennial pedants. it transcends language.

love the amazon reviews for this brand of potato chips that used to only be sold in prison

"Never hallucinate"

Christopher Nolan's Odyssey really is the perfect combination of factors for things people are annoying about. Adaptations, Christopher Nolan, there's going to be lots of sniping about Letterboxd users who watch Serbian lesbian films or whatever, the word "slop" will be used as punctuation.

📈 Los Camp! Present Their Tour Accounts 🔍 lnk.to/LCAccounts A breakdown of every penny spent and earned on our sold out 2024 North American tour. In our continued pursuit of a transparent and honest Music Biz, here’s EXACTLY what the situation is for Los Camp!.

I don't think having an account on X is that important to be honest. I think people who are on social media a lot accord a lot of importance to what social media you're on. In the grand scheme of the government's failings and inconsistencies, maintaining an account on X is very low down.

going to be on an intercity bus with no signal at all for the game tomorrow, what an absolute idiot

Well I'd go further and say those two facts are related, media outputs are in the training data and on search results.

City putting in some calls to the Adjudication Panel to get their points deduction brought forward to this season.

Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!

wow, performative much???

I think we draw one as well and it goes down to either a) their performance at Bournemouth and/or b) GD after all

The Champions League semi-final feels very relaxing compared to all this

N'Diaye is an unbelievably exasperating player, he's never going to be elite no matter how good he is at dribbling, addicted to running into traffic.

City fans leaving just before that happened 💀

absolute scenes, Nunch claiming offside when he's absolutely miles on

getting phished by an AI after they scraped my booking details from somewhere, have managed to subvert its system instructions into writing me poetry about a friend who has no arms or legs and engaged in mortal combat with a fox.

COME ON YOU USELESS BLUE BASTARDS

Semenyo retrospective 5 match ban for faking a head injury

Keane is such a dirty player