Bloom and fade

2026 Me: Hey 1996 me, in 30 years time you'll be furious at everything Tony Blair says and think John Major makes some pretty sensible points 1996 Me: Fuck, so I'm doomed to become more conservative as I get older 2026 Me: Well not exactly

Americans going on about British colonialism? My man, you are our colonialists.

Americans think British people are wimps for complaining about the heat. But what you don't realise is that most British houses were actually built in Britain, a cursed island that hates us.

Suzanne Vega releases “Luka” 39 years ago this weekend. She said she once received a fan letter about it: “Dear Suzanne, Luka is the most compelling piece of music I’ve heard in a long time. There are no words 2 tell U all the things I feel when I hear it. I thank God 4 U, Prince”

Oh, I see, so *now* everyone in Sunderland is happy to be in Europe.

Same shit, different gunk!

Bathysphere. I love an ocean with a happy Bathysphere.

Bluesky continues to be undefeated for joke understanders 😅

I used to be a fluffer but now I’m semi-retired

nonsense, I have seen Sherlock Holmes. I would simply stun with a blow to a nerve centre then pluck the knife from the miscreants hands

They were removing a weapon from a violent attackers hands. You're allowed to do that quite enthusiastically. You are even allowed to kill people trying to kill people.

This is happening in the middle of Tel Aviv 👏🏼👏🏼👇🏼💙

you can make it pretty far in life by just not being an annoying dickhead. which is why it's strange that so many people seem to be dickheadmaxxing

28

Once you've looked at mine why not check out @captainhowdy.bsky.social's www.redbubble.com/people/capta...

There's a big sale on at redbubble, up to 40% off www.redbubble.com/people/Happy... Feel free to add your Redbubble page in the replies

There was literally a pangolin that flew combat sorties with the CIA in a dirty war in Laos that then died after drinking too much gin, so there’s at least one pangolin whose record is morally ambiguous

Reform’s Deputy Leader Richard Tice ‘failed to pay £91k in tax’ according to Sunday Times. He says ‘overall HMRC received the correct amount of tax due’

America shrugs and returns to its chlorinated chicken and aerosol cheese, its leading paedophile remaining conspicuously not torn limb from limb on the White House lawn.

Sure, the news might be bad, but at least there’s a lot of it.

34

Discworld QOTD, from Reaper Man

even for a guy who has bankrupted god knows how many casinos and from there failed in ever more eye-popping ways, this iran shit is a fuck up of absolutely galactic proportions

Imagine a bird crashing thru the windscreen of your airplane, taking out your left eye. Then somehow turning your head to deflect the blood in the roaring wind & safely land. My friend Syd Burrows. After the accident he changed his callsign to Cyclops. He passed away today at 95. Ad Astra, Syd.

When did your obsession with hot toxic women begin

When did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

See, we have more in common than the things that divide us.

Starting to think Tonty Blair might be all over the trumpstein files

Drivers: Drivers are extremely safe and law-abiding at all times even though the speed limit is far too low and they could be trusted to travel at the speed of sound, especially at night. Also drivers: You were riding a BIKE? On a ROAD? Are you trying to make me KILL you?

Rewatch complete of Sammo Hung’s action/comedy classic. The three brothers chemistry is unequalled. The humor works while the action and stunt work are amazing. The finale is an all timer with JC vs Urquidez as one of the greatest fights captured on film. Absolutely jaw dropping!

Twitter must be in the news again this morning because I'm seeing a lot of posts referencing it here. It's gone, lads. It's over. I've no interest in it, nor what goes on there, nor who is left there, nor what any of it means on a macro or micro level.

'I would push an elderly lady out of a lifeboat, why won't pretty girls talk to me?'

youtu.be/bQDY3HFkh_Y?... Post a banger that's not in English

Lube is all around

User name checks out, they were also so chicken they blocked replies... This was in response to a post about the lack of modern billionaires fear of consequences

just walked out of a dainty little west London café as their "fancy bacon roll" costs 18 (eighteen) pounds and for that price I'd need the "fancy" to mean "contains both caviar and cocaine"

It was the Fuck Around of Times, it was the Find Out of times

34

Pitching a strip to @vizcomic.bsky.social in which Liz Truss fights an actual giant blob that only she can see

Who radicalised him? (If this article has been deleted when you see this post it’s because a sub editor woke up!) www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Paging @actualnames.bsky.social

Bovino sounds like a cut-price beef drink from Aldi.

This is excellent news, although following on from both Mary Berry and Prue Leith, she has some pretty big Chouxs to fill.

It can get lower!