I swear there was a light behind your eyes

Happy Ass Wednesday to all who celebrate. (me.)

Sometimes I am wrong

Yeah, but did you ever chew on a pencil before?

This could be us but you playin

my daily affirmations are just screams

Ash Wednesday…more like Ass Wednesday!

Just found out I’m a wooden rabbit

Affectionately calls you a fucker.

If you ever think I’m flirting with you in earnest—no, I’m not

This could be us but you playin

This could be us but you playin

This could be us but you playin

They call this a timeline cleanse

You're not you when you're in my delusion

Eat cum for the lord

instead of valentines day can there be another halloween

no

calling it date night makes me not want to go

Every day is a good day when you disassociate.

You don’t have to buy my affection, but I’d certainly love you more if you did.

Sex dreams about platonic friends

Gotta start posting Valentine stuff

Sometimes you’re the asshole and you just have to accept that

there will always be another distraction

Not messing around today I muted someone for being too happy.

something something cheese fuck it send - draft folder contents

Waiting for the "man I'm glad THAT'S over with" days.

I choose the alternative

Remember its not just a mistake. You failed.<inspirational>

I’m a rear wheel drive kind of guy….if you know what I mean

I swear, i’m not gooning you

The year of the horse? More like the year of horse shit!

Anyone who says “not gonna lie” is in fact a liar

Enjoy the pearl necklace and don’t say you never get anything

Have you tried trying?

Thanks for the tickle @daisy91.bsky.social

I just muted my first word…Epstein. I’m healing

Board games are great for teaching kids how to cheat

of all the opium dens i’ve been in this one has the most reply guys

Delicious if true: Grape Nuts

Ask me anything but instead it’s ask me nothing

Not solving the masculinity crisis until dudes can admit this is what peak performance looks like

I was never driven to school. I walked.