Happy Boxing Day !

i just know there’s somebody out there with hobby horsing as a kink

I’m going to try to pop into all of your dms today

For those who believe

This is the one

One of my favs

Can’t beat the classics

To the people still working for a few days before the holiday….suckers!!!

The hills are alive!

I wish I was a magic man

I’ll be lurking…but I’m around

Idk if you guys know this but people online are very very dumb and annoying Except us. We’re cool.

You so blessed babes

Just imagine I posted the skeet I thought of before bed but can’t remember now. Tell me how great it is.

2026 is gonna be my year!

Im deep AF man

The left lane is for crime. If you’re not about that lifestyle, move over.

Let’s pretend that we’re in love

Any of you ever get a chia pet for Christmas?

I am not the answer to anyone’s problem

Yay! <derogatory>

I have to wake up early everyday because curses don't cast themselves.

after two sneezes there are no more blessings only damnations to hell

Don’t come at me with yellow raisins

Hi is nice but high is better

Sex is gross

Kids are a great reminder to think long and hard before you decide to have kids

No comment

Consider this the first song on my mixtape for you … youtu.be/bDtnl2USZVY?...

You don’t pay unless I win

I wonder if Santa still has a cigarette lighter in his sled

*psst* there are no rules

Settle a debate…is “white Christmas” a song about cocaine or is it just racist??

Wizard of Oz is on tv y’all!! Somewhere over the rainbow bitches!

Bsky is shit today…prove me wrong

I regret nothing...wait everything.

Let's see how everyone can misinterpret this *send*

The mandolin is the greatest and worst invention ever

As my cat likes to say, meow.

Why keep your thoughts to yourself when you can traumatise others for free.

Good food at competitive prices…if you know what I mean

In the mood for a New York strip…if you know what I mean

Let me hear your body talk

Cant stop wont stop

This could be us, but you’re afraid of horses

Make out party on the astral plane

I bet people who don’t repost drive slow in the passing lane and block grocery aisles

Presume I said something clever…See? You see what I did there??

Seriously, Christmas isn’t worth maxing out your credit cards. Don’t do it!