I need this Cubs choke more than I need oxygen

a heartwarming story of how being an unethical and talentless hack is no barrier to success when you are willing to endlessly flatter the wretched views of rich dipshits

Attack of the clones is actually such a stressful movie. Like watching shit start to unravel is way worse than it already being undone

I just wish that anytime I went to the doctor anyone could answer my questions about perimenopause bc my alternative for the next decade is falling for probably scammy supplement solutions and going bankrupt

slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross

The USMNT has been training to save us all a fortune on World Cup knockout tickets, financially responsible kings

Stephen Miller talks like he just came from the dentist and the Novocain is wearing off.

feels like a thing placed in documentaries before horrifying footage

Jane Goodall nooooooooo 😭😭😭

every hospital is glued together by a coworker who will seemingly work every. single. shift. until they go insane

Ghost Baby Clifford is here to announce that it is officially spooky season. Let the festivities commence.

the worst team you know is doing a team building

Virgos hold shit down and Libras are lovely to be around

Happy October 1st to everyone who acknowledges that Ghostbusters has the best movie theme song of all time

Stress-Free Eric Adams Spends Day Bribing Pigeons In Central Park

Sometimes your ideas fail, and other times they turn out better than expected! #sciart

Exhibit A at The Hague just dropped

"War is Peace" is one of the three core slogans of the fascist government in 1984, and it's pretty damn chilling to see the Secretary of Defense demanding that the U.S. Armed Forces adopt it as truth. George Orwell wrote that book as a cautionary tale drawing on, yes, history!

38 is middle age and I know this bc I was just vibing with a Steely Dan song on the radio. No further debate

Voceras are legitimately the worst hospital technology in existence

I mean yes this is funny, but the fact that these unconstitutional stormtroopers are so directionless that they literally stand around waiting for random nonwhite delivery guys to bike past them is just pathetic. No mandate, no mission, no clue. Just racism.

the brain of the median voter needs to be studied for science

Kristi Noem: How DARE you accuse our glorious ICE agents of racial profiling. Head of the Chicago raids: We are stopping people based on “how they look, how do they look compared to, say,” a tall, middle aged white guy.

Possibly the most useless man alive.

The medbed thing is funny but maybe it’s bad that the press has no interest in evaluating whether the president has functioning reality-testing

Food banks/pantries/mutual aid projects desperately need support right now, whether that's money, in-kind donations, or time.

Justice Kavanaugh: “If the person is a U. S. citizen or otherwise lawfully in the United States, that individual will be free to go after the brief encounter.”

I stopped at home goods bc I need a lamp for my apt and it didn't open til 9:30 but I was here at 9:20 and the lot was empty except me but at 9:28 like 6 cars pulled up driven by people who were ready to enter home goods at 9:30 on the dot like they GPSed their ETA. Wildest thing I've seen all day

Last night work kicked my ass in a way that it hasn't been kicked since April 🥀

It takes so much strength to finish the last half of a mid protein bar

I love hearing the trains do their little beep beep when everything else is more or less quiet at night

STOP THE GENOCIDE

I'm sorry but 'hepatitas B' is so so funny 🤣😭

Me when I'm dating someone

you probably need to be of a certain vintage to understand the absolute hilarity of ken starr being in the epstein files

Morning walk

class war anime let's go

Cozy rainy nights 🥹

There are 836 books on my current to-read list and my average is about 30 books per year which means it would take me almost 30 years just to read these and who knows how many other books I'll add 😭

This is my aura ✨💫

rapture happened if you can read this you are gay

the US if Tylenol actually caused autism

I finally finished the acolyte and I gotta be honest I am not siding w the Jedi on this one

you cannot sit motionless in the heart of these perils

you need to admit your crush before the rapture

My man David Byrne released a new album this month

"Just keeps spreading, doesn't it?"

I just don't have a Libra season in me this year

you don’t have to wait til Halloween to tell you ghost stories I WANT TO HEAR THEM NOW

if they’re gonna treat this like a WWE event then someone really should’ve whacked him with a folding chair