i’m not gonna lie to you guys, i’m lowkey dumb as shit

Anglers on the Seine at Poissy - 1882 https://botfrens.com/collections/41/contents/9721

I know there’s a lot of bad shit going down right now but unfortunately I do have to go Jester Mode or risk losing my mind

you don’t hate these stupid fuckers enough

sick of my shit? i have to deal with this 24/7

When rich people say “money can’t buy happiness” that seems like a skill issue

Considering Zohran married a Syrian woman and didn’t drone strike one, I don’t think he’s like Obama

They keep saying all the rich people are gonna leave NYC and god I hope they take their spoiled kids with them

I’m at my best when I’m asleep.

A cologne named “Daddy’s Home” and it smells like cigarettes and booze

There’s no fucking way that’s her name

breaking news: guy who sucks says something stupid that sucks

It’s excruciating to witness northeastern people try to shit on southern evangelicalism because they don’t even have the vocabulary for it. They know nothing of the culture. It’s very important to know what you’re insulting. Learn your enemy, not their caricature

High School Musical is a Christmas movie

Eating raw fish because I’m stupid

Lots of open mouth coughing into the air and it’s wildly inconsiderate and gross. This is something they teach toddlers

ABAB (All Billionaires Are Bastards)

I wonder how many people wouldn’t be so easily corrupted if we had a UBI

New York City baby :)

Living in New York during peak tourist season feels like being an animal in a zoo. The other day I literally heard a family say “She’s walking so fast to work! That’s how they walk here.” First of all, I wasn’t going to work. I’m just a 32 yr old lesbian and I dress in business casual for fun.

Just taking my DayQuil thinking about how if I choked and died on the pills, my family could technically get away with saying i died from complications related to the flu (less embarrassing)

I feel great, except for my body and my mind

Dating actors in New York is so messed up because even after you break up you still have to see them in an Oreo commercial

I’m more tired than it is even possible to be. It is a level far beyond mere exhaustion or painful fatigue. A thousand nights of perfect sleep could not fix this tired.

look I’m sorry. my wife specifically ASKED me to get her billions dead, oceans of blood, and dust continents for Christmas. she even wrote it down for me. so like. I mean, you guys can do what you want I guess? but I’m not saying no to her. the wife wants billions dead, that’s what she gets

Adults who get super angry when kids make fun of them: simply laugh it off. Stop being weird. It’s part of their development to test authority. If you, as an adult, cannot survive a roast from a 10 year old, that is a *you* problem.

Mark Cuban shut the fuck up challenge

It’s indescribably refreshing to spend time with people who don’t know me that well and think I’m normal

One of the best skills I have is strategically shutting the fuck up. Sometimes, just staring at someone and letting them talk themselves into a hole is so much more powerful than trying to reason with them.

Back on my “are you mad at me” bullshit

Brad Lander is the kinda guy you can hand a baby to and walk away. He will figure it out.

RFK Jr. says you have to let me suck on your tits or I’ll die

Him

Logging on

wishing strangers a very merry Christmas to them and all their loved ones, to own the libs

Today was the last day of work for my boss who made me feel like absolute shit about myself. I welcome a new era of potentially not feeling like shit about myself :)

The rich want us to have a world free of working class art. The only art they want is what they can sell top-down to the masses and art that they can invest in as a speculative market. When the working class creates art they are not generating profit for the capital class and they hate this

RIP Jane.

My wife and I are getting hot chocolate and going to a christmas tree lighting in Central Park and then I’m gonna make us mac and cheese when we get home. Lesbian life is a hallmark movie fr

Post your warning label

Clocking in not when my shift starts, but when the panic sets in just before

advent calendar of pills i've found on the ground

FACT: openly expressing love and joy and compassion and affection are meaningful virtues in the fight against fascism.

This is a DIY gift kinda Christmas because I hate these fucking corporations