It's been a while since I dined in at taco bell, and a fresh cheesy gordita crunch really hits

Welp it's not the worst universe to end up in

your honor this is boring

When you will literally die in 10 seconds

Hey everyone, We literally just added 100 more trans girl scouts to the trans girl scout cookie list. The list is bigger than it has ever been in EITM history. Go get some cookies and make a trans scout's day!

When you aren't moving fast enough with that glucosamine chewy ☹️

so pretty soon ice will have deployed every officer they have to minneapolis and the thing to do then is cut a huge hole in the ice in a big lake and have bugs bunny dress up like a lady and stand behind talking all "help help rescue me from all the foreigners!"

I am 45. I have a grudge against one of my *pre-k* classroom assistants

NO - dashare.zone ADMIN

Here's your reminder Clean your glasses 🤓 Clean your cellphone Drink some water Moisturize! It's crusty out there

Our shih tzu has historically been our precious passive moron. He's had recent back/hip issues, so the vet rec'd a glucosamine chewy. Tell me how he's turned into a typical sassy shithead, like "I'm a real boy, Papa"-level transformation

I'm crying "Sorry" 👉👈

Jonathan Brandis is in this episode of Murder She Wrote 😢

I'm a middle aged woman; I always need a place to pee

Dinner tonight. It doesn't quite nail pastitsio, but it is deeeelicious 🤤 heresyourbite.substack.com/p/one-pan-pa...

Hold on. If Jonathan Ross, murderer of Renee Nicole Good, had been dragged behind a vehicle by anti-ICE protestors in June, wouldn't the administration be using that as an example of how "violent" the opposition is constantly since June 2025?

his name is Jonathan Ross and he shouldn't get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...

Banger of a sunrise, at least

When your kid has been velcroed to you for the entire weekend and Monday morning dropoff finally comes

They really think Greenland is as big as it looks on the maps

Kitchen scale and rice cooker. Honorable mention goes to immersion blender

This was the start of my being sick, over THREE weeks ago. I still have a little cough; it's bullshit

I'm over the moon. They should always look this fuckin stupid. 10/10

Guaifenesin to clear this sinus infection has necessitated upping my water intake significantly and I regret to inform you my skin looks better than before I got sick

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating. Happy Thursday to all those who are not. And I hope this day passes bearably and swiftly for anyone struggling today. Dragon with Christmas Gift, Edward Gorey.

Okay someone should have told me the sheep movie was written by fuckin craig MAZIN

The girl was recently ravenous, and she will become contrary.

I suspected this cough was starting to turn into bronchitis and immediately took myself to urgent care last night Applause and accolades, please

Hoo boy, those days when "only child" lawlessness gets to meet "sick kid" lawlessness 🫠

bravery is a thing you practice

TIL actor Angela Lansbury decamped to Ireland from Hollywood for a year after her teen daughter Diedre fell under the spell of a local "deadbeat," who was coercing her to steal money and food from her family for him. This was the "deadbeat."

The majestic man-taur Half man... half another man

I've had a tickle in my left sinus since about 3am and I think this is how I will tip over into madness

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty] OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food] OSIRIS: you already ate ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad] OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

MY LEGS MY BUSINESS - dashare.zone ADMIN

tripped on a root this morning as i was haunting the mists and some of the townsfolk friggin saw me fall down

Lmao target keeps upping my credit limit like that could entice me back

I'm really proud of this story about weird girl longing Lots of great stuff in the first issue of @salonsinister.com, including this one from me! www.salonsinister.com

Block @blursedwonder.bsky.social

I'm just so irritated ALL the time that we're actually here. We're being punk'd.

Might be the sleep deprivation talking but this tree looks done to me

“UK paid almost $400,000 to a professor that had won an open records appeal against it and made the payment contingent on her dropping her request for records. The public has a right to know what the University was willing to pay so dearly to hide."

Omg an elephant for friendship and home defense

oh my god someone made it (and kindly tipped their hat to me) bsky.app/profile/harp...

You should be able to order the edges of Detroit-style pizza like you would burnt ends

Happy Birthday to the incredible @amerrill2.bsky.social . Co-Creator of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Cartoon Planet and The Brak Show; Voice of Brak, amongst others; Cartoon Network programing and on air superstar, and all in all, I'd like to wish a very Happy Birthday to this guy