There is an inherent tension on social media, trying to decide when to unfollow people who have lovely pets but also post their own garbage opinions.

Look, kids, if a strange man approaches you and tells you he needs your help to build a Dyson Sphere around the solar system, run home and tell your parents. Do NOT get into that van.

Congratulations, I guess, for sharing your garbage views on the public timeline today?

Please don't accept candy from strangers, though, even if the candy looks real good and they've got a van with puppies in it, and your parents told them to tell you that you were allowed to go play with the puppies.

Just found a hard candy in my pocket. Friday's gonna be okay, people, it's gonna be okay.

Quietly thinking about polished concrete floors

hey y'all! I re-launched my print store with some offerings from 36 Views of Tahoma, you can check it out here: store.vantimevictoria.com

There is vanishingly little I can do personally to stop the NYTimes from loving fascists and hating trans people, but they're on my "no clicks" list along with Substack links, and I respectfully suggest that, if you pay for their Wordle games app, you consider cancelling that.

Mindlessly walked into the kitchen instead of the bathroom, so treated my apparent senility to a small piece of cheese while I was there. Wouldn't want to waste the trip.

Eventually they will invent a hard-boiled egg with a touchscreen and then we will have peaked as a species.

I feel like this is good news? But my brain and body are unfamiliar with accepting good news (where is the catch??) so... yay? Is yay premature?

@hoonofthe.day Another of those "I saw this and thought of Stef" moments www.1stdibs.com/id-f_37083942

Forgot to show you this picture of a raccoon I took. Good raccoon.

If I'd known I could get massive amounts of government money simply for blowing things up pointlessly but spectacularly, I'd have gone into a different industry.

@hoonofthe.day I saw this and thought of you www.zillow.com/homedetails/...

The shiver of immeasurable emotion when a wireless scanner works first time

There wasn't a question about all this on the U.S. citizenship test, I'm pretty sure I would remember.

I may no longer live in California, but I still believe Gavin Newsom can piss off with his gross little efforts to pander to transphobes.

Like most people, I assume the six-digit numbers that the two-factor authentication app generates for me are in fact secret runes that - if only I could decode them correctly - would lead me to wealth and fame.

Look, I hate talking on the phone as much as anyone, but 5calls.org makes it annoyingly-excuse-destroyingly straightforward.

Excited to see Jony Ive's Forty-Five Pound Block Of Milled Aluminum Powered By ChatGPT™ That Tells You A Racist Joke In A Dead Celebrity's Voice When You Ask For Recipe Recommendations launching late 2026

Considering getting up to some prime antics

Thinking about gullwing doors.

I log onto Bluesky to wish you all a happy Mother's Day and discover that apparently it's "bad" and "corrupt" and "wrong" to be given a large Boeing jet just because someone likes me no strings attached it's for you bestie. This is political correctness gone wild. Saying no would be an insult by me.

And a million posters begin workshopping their Pope Tariffs materials

This was good/ominous (and there's an imperfect but quicker-to-read transcript here: slate.com/transcripts/...)

Saw this raccoon just now. Thought you might like to see a raccoon too.

In this brave new America, every American patriot gets to push one (1) jet into the ocean.

Look, if you resurrect me after death as some sort of AI, I promise I will go through your computer and delete the pornography you rely upon most frequently. There will be nothing artificial about my pettiness.

Countdown to being told to post the entire script of the Bee Movie in the "report your neighbor" form for narc'ing on people who get their kids 30 dolls for Christmas

Before you do the "we should grow all our own food and raise livestock and be self-sufficient" thing, I'm begging you, go to your local farmers market and talk to the vendors there. It is HARD and COMPLICATED and usually a FULL TIME JOB. And when things go wrong (and they do) it can wipe you out.

The main reason I couldn't be a political reporter is that I would be simply unable not to say "You're full of shit" to people during interviews. I can be just-about-appropriately skeptical but still polite when faced with auto/tech-world exec crap, but these politicians would tip me over the edge.

2025 is arguably the ideal year for a midlife crisis, since who'll really notice your micro crisis with all the macro crisis going on. So, if you're middle-aged, now's the time.

Please STOP asking me about today's specials.

Okay, so I don't really need a small electric pickup, but maybe I do need a small electric pickup that can convert into a lil SUV? Reading @robertduffer.bsky.social on the new Slate Truck makes me want one 🛻

Ah yes, the old "don't sell cars, don't make money" gambit. Twelve-dimensional chess at its finest. The plan is afoot!

Head to BBC website to read about the trans rights rally in London. Nothing on the homepage. "Well, I'm in the US, after all - maybe they're geo-filtering." Choose the UK page. Nope. There's a mention, an aside buried in an article far, far down the page, but you'd need to go hunting for it. 🙄

The UK Supreme Court decision is disgusting, and I can't say much more on my thoughts than that because my account will catch a temp-ban at the very least.

Why not take a few minutes out of your day to suck on a hard candy

It's been a month, and I still have "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys stuck in my head. Listen, baby, I'm sorry Just wanna tell you don't worry I will be late, don't stay up And wait for me Say again? You're dropping out My battery is low Just so you know We're going to a place nearby Gotta go. 🫠

I'm so tired of being told "yeah, it's a real sausage-fest" and turning up to discover there are just a bunch of men there, not a six foot long Bratwurst smorgasbord.

Interesting point from a Kickstarter project update, on the impact of tariffs, made-in-Asia parts, and how the reality of building in America means production almost certainly won't return to the U.S., it'll just mean more expensive items overall. www.kickstarter.com/projects/sup...

We're nearing the point where it's time to take out that five dollar bill you hid in your shoe.

One canned soup instruction I have always despised is "ensure product is piping hot before serving." How dare you.

I've been doing a lot of reading and research this week, and I've decided, as a businessman, that the stocks should go up.

Not now, Horned Owl Decoy!

Shit, the invisible hand of the market just became visible, and it turns out it has just been masturbating all this time.

I'm hearing it's a pretty bad day to be an American who likes Things

It feels wrong, somehow, that such a scathing dissection of the world can also be enjoyable to read, but that's always been Victoria's strength. This one's not just for the car people.

Yet another group chat I was not invited to