I wish Protestant beguines were a Thing.

Walking around the library in my heels, trying a) to break them in b) to become a graceful swan, & treading like a small child who's been given a pair of wellies that are a bit too big so she can grow into them.

Summers in private: endlessly scheming with the world's most famous pervert to get a young female colleague whom he calls by a racist nickname to fuck him at conferences. Summers in public: "I don't see that many women in my field, it must be because they're bad at math"

Bitter pills I am currently bolusing down: Thirty per cent of my countrymen (hell, thirty per cent of my fellow people) are the scum of the Earth: idiots who like to cause pain & refuse to clean up their messes. I should stop asking my Mom "Shall I do this?" & move to "Here's what I've done."

Watched all of the Ian McKellen Colbert interview. It made me miss theatre so much it hurt.

It would be idiotic to get another pair of Fancy Boots but they would hold their value better than Bitcoin.

If you can't clean up your dog's shit you are not fit to own a dog! Get a Furby or a Tamagotchi!

Clearly an inside job to assist known fugitive Carmen San Diego (This joke is for four people in their 40s and 50s)

Me: I hope [person] doesn't have a heart attack! My Mom: Who don't you want to have a heart attack? Me: Lots of people! It would be easier to list the people I *do* want to have heart attacks!

OK so it turns out what I need to pull this off is weeks & weeks of biting cold temperatures. It's so warm!

the republican party is led by a criminal and is affirmatively a pro-crime party

Did "Murder, She Wrote" ever do an episode where a racy painting of Jessica (or Jessica's identical cousin) in her youth turns up & it's part of the plot? I know "Miss Fisher" did it & "Leverage" did it & "Titanic" did it & "Neighbours" did it for Heaven's sake.

Ah, it turns out *that* deadline (submitting scans of my T passes for partial reimbursement by the union transport fund) was a *hard* deadline. Oh, well.

My half-sister was just a) ahead of her time b) not photogenic enough to make a real *splash* with image-based media.

I would love to believe the Epstein stuff is just Evil Rich People but I've been to too many middle school, or even fifth grade, plays where the fathers were audibly making remarks & noises about the looks on some of the little girls in the casts.

I feel about the demise of the 2000-2015 Internet the way William Wordsworth felt about the failure of the French Revolution. Bliss was it in that dawn to be Online But to be young-ish (so it was all catered to you & you knew what everything was) was very Heaven!

While watching "Chronicle" we just got a "come on! come on! do this!" ad for sports gambling & then a "there's help!" ad for opiate addiction recovery services & it's like living in a didactic 18thC engraving where you see people on the road to Hell & people trying to come back from it.

It's like poetry; it rhymes.

"It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing" www.youtube.com/watch?v=myRc...

Women who woke up at 2:30 with a migraine can have little a coffee & toast, so they can take painkillers.

Wait, *Richard* Nixon? I thought you people were going on about *Marni*!

So I have decided to share some of them here. Because they are so wonderful. And they should be seen… A woman pretends she isn't reading the book of a man beside her on the bus, who pretends he isn't holding it so it's easier for her to do so.

My Mom pointed out that the new Mrs Bezos is probably saying to her husband, "You did a documentary about Melania, when are you going to do one about me?" while he tries to explain to her that it was only a way of laundering a bribe.

Maybe a tie between "A Bridge Too Far" and "Patton"?

one of my loudest and wettest Writer’s Opinions™ is that italics are a load-bearing element of the orthography of modern english and in many cases are Not Optional. english makes Extremely heavy use of prosodic stress to clarify the meaning of sentences, up to & including disambiguating grammar!!!!!

The thing about the lingering snow of the sidewalks of greater Boston is that every day more of it is yellow. If you gallantly step aside into the snowbank to make way for someone elderly or someone with a stroller, look carefully.

Due to Parisian fire codes, there must be 50 ways to leave the Louvre.

[terms of service violation]

you stupid milquetoast lib, you don’t get to tell us how to protest, we’re gonna light shit on fire whether you like it or not, snitches get stitches HEY PUT THAT WHISTLE AWAY YOU MIGHT TRAUMATIZE SOMEONE

Sometimes I wish I were a character in an educational TV show so I could go "But how is someone able to lift weights that weigh more than they do?" or "When I'm walking down the street, why do moderately distant shop windows reflect the other side of the street at me & not me and what's behind me?"

McDonald's mascot characters were mentioned, which made me think of this: theonion.com/mcdonalds-dr...

Saw a man today on the Commuter Rail who managed to pull off not only a little parted pencil mustache but a curly-brimmed bowler. He looked like a Jazz Age poet or a gentleman adventurer between adventures! The ability to pull off the styles of yore without looking like a twerp is a rare gift.

My Dad wanted more education than he could get in the UK in the 50s; also he'd met a bunch of American soldiers during WWII & Americans seemed cool. My grandfather's forebears were getting out of Ireland. My grandmother's forebears went back & forth over the US/Canada border for work.

Please look at this great drawing of a horse!

It Was Foretold:

My misfires when I cook dinner go into multiple Pyrex containers & I have them for work lunch & I just finished off the most recent one so at least *that's* done. A) I take my wins where I can get them B) YET ANOTHER round of delivery discourse makes me feel like Ma Ingalls for doing my own cooking

Well, ma'am, I see your problem: you're a skeleton.

I suppose this is just part and parcel of what we're learning about Higher Ed having been run by pervs and cowards for a big chunk of this century. (I believe in the life of the mind & the university as a temple of learning & humans working together in the search for truth so it's wormwood for me.)

I'm not sure if "that stupid Sleepwalker statue at Wellesley should never have been there" is a lefty opinion (because it appeared out of nowhere & gave many students unpleasant shocks, which was bad) or a reactionary one (because as art it was worthless & ugly, which was bad) but it is mine.

When they get rid of all the Bari CBS people & have new "60 Minutes" with decent people can I be Andy Rooney? I have lots of things I want to complain about!

Twice the suns, double the UV damage. But maybe there's something about the Jedi Temple that keeps you young & when you leave the years catch up with you? Dooku aged rapidly between "Tales of the Jedi" & "Attack of the Clones"! (I did something similar between 2019 & now & I'm not even a Sith.)

Trying to tackle my oversupply of dresses because it's too cold to do anything else & unsure whether the person whose help I need is a personal organizer, a budget consultant, a stylist, a shrink, or a priest! Or possibly someone with a flamethrower.

My Mom has just found out about Cardi B (because of SNL) so I told her about Cardi B's top-tier ASMR video, which means my Mom has also just found out about ASMR! www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUMy...

Only good use of this is Nobby in "Jingo" being told he will be surrounded by nubile young women & later asking the young women with whom he is hiding while in drag "Is the name of this country Nubilia?"

My cousin had her baby, Bitcoin has crashed, the sun is shining, & I was just able to finish reading a book. There are still things to be glad about!

I thought I was the only person who felt this way! I had to figure things out from context: if he's talking to a cook, he's the restaurant guy; if he's talking to the president of MIT, he's the pred. We go Online to feel less alone.

Gonna need more Costcos for all the new comfortably middle-class people! Women from countries where they couldn't own themselves are going to come here & be running the damn office in a few years. All the Europeans will still hate us but we will have Even More Americans.

There are no Kibbe types in single-digit temperatures.