Get your coat @jebushchrist.bsky.social

TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION

We are officially composting!!!

Just do things that make you happy and be with people who make you happy. Do not internalize anyone’s opinion on those two things. Nothing else matters.

Eagles game wrapped at 4 pm. Jake Tapper has no excuse for not being all over this!

“He’s tiny and terrible” ladies and gentlemen, our new starting quarterback! #Vikings

I just had words with the old ass neighbor behind me spraying chemicals on the fence we put up. Dude doesn’t even mow his own lawn, and does not have one plant growing in his yard has the nerve to tell me I have too many weeds in my yard.

I have never seen Caddyshack and I have zero desire to ever see it.

should have let him eat his goddamn hot dog in peace, everyone

My kink is Ethan Hawke in Sinister. The dad sweater, the shoes, the alcoholism, the house, the pained writer, the demon in the attic, all of it.

[Speaking to @jebushchrist.bsky.social about what horror movies we can watch in front of our 4 year old]: and there is not a lot of dismemberment in that movie so it’s probably good.

JB right now letting all the videos percolate through America

Happy Lazy Saturday with No Yard Work to do from Boogie!

I don’t like Vought either but damn you do any man dirty comparing them to these two!

Got these running shoes for work and holy shit they have so much cushion in them I feel like I am wearing platforms at Studio 54 or something.

Love is Blind just slowly morphing into a show that shows breakups at all stages of a relationship. Fascinating.

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

The Nun ornament for our Halloween tree is great but the box it came in is amazing.

These guys have lost their goddamn minds

Highly recommend you all put down Swift’s new album and go listen to the theme of Puffin Rock which totally slaps.

The first round of Love Is Blind is basically sorority rush

There are two dads on Cocomelon Lane. They teach JJ how to eat spaghetti because his straight parents make him do dishes when he is like 3 years old.

My student loans send their regards, fuckos.

don’t forget to experience joy everybody

My kid just told me I have grandma glasses.

Me, to the bugs in my yard as I garden:

And then naturally the Vice President—a Yale Law educated demagogue—decides to problematize whether they should receive life saving care in US hospitals at all. bsky.app/profile/atru...

Ted Cruz looks like he’s going to grab a rock and jump and land backwards on a glass bridge, breaking it and making a mother, daughter, their dog, and some dolphins fall into the raging rapids below.

Annette Bening has just the best wrinkles.

What an utter failure of the parents of Georgie to not warn him of the dangers of clowns in the drain. You better believe we are teaching our kid if anyone talks to you from a drain, you run and go tell mommy and daddy.

Two people using the lobby piano at work to sing a duet of “What the World Needs Now” off key makes me want to join the Dept of War.

My senator sucks shit.

I am done with work at 1pm and all I can think about is starting my composting journey.

coup coup coup Coup Coup Coup COUP COUP COUP

Let’s get them all in one place and implicitly threaten them. This is very smart and always ends well. I have read one book, ever.

Someone put my dog Boogie in charge of the federal government. He is as smart as these people but at least he has a kind heart. #voteforBoogie

what do the minnesota vikings have to do with this

Laughed so much already this morning. Thank you, Mr. Secretary!

I’m a guy’s guy, so here are 97 beauty standards you have to meet to be hot enough to be in my army.

[furiously searching for an utterly humiliated emoji]

I NEED A SHOT OF THE CROWD WHEN HE SAID THIS

I was looking to dress up as a dinosaur with my kid for Halloween and @jebushchrist.bsky.social thinks this might upstage him. I don’t think it does!

Springfield, IL. I gave back half of a giant signing bonus to get away from that place.

I am The Lorax I speak for the trees!

If Netflix really wants to be smart, they’d release Theo Von’s special to us. Would get way more ratings than just the racists watching something edited.

Tariffs hitting this household really hard in the Halloween decorations category

I left the front door wide open and thankfully our dogs know how good they have it and stuck around

Everyone knows if you really want to blend in on the streets of Chicago you don’t wear camo you wear this

Oh stop you guys play a game for a living stop fighting