Fyi: a currently alive scenario is Italy winning the WBC, not qualifying for the World Cup

Tips For Researching Local Candidates https://theonion.com/tips-for-researching-local-candidates/

@eccheesehead.bsky.social The Ravens sending Maxx Crosby back to the Raiders

Very excited that we're somehow getting another day of discourse out of The Florsheim Affair, one of the most delightful stories of this awful last year and change. Keep on clompin' boys! defector.com/report-presi...

Since 2006, Italy have won NINE times as many games at the World Baseball Classic as they have at the men's FIFA World Cup 🤯

This is Reedy. He’s so happy to share his favorite part of the day with you. 13/10 (TT: runreedyrun)

#MLS History Retold RETURNS! After a much too long Hiatus, one of our favorite series is BACK! How #DCUnited, RFK Stadium and a Family of Raccoons turned into one of the longest running memes in MLS History! Video: youtu.be/Sb62RRdPaNw Audio: linktr.ee/thedppod

REMINDER: You can get my daily “TRAINA THOUGHTS” column delivered to your email Monday through Friday by signing up below. Today’s column, which will be out shortly, is extra good.

5/ And on the Strait of Hormuz, they had NO PLAN. I can't go into more detail about how Iran gums up the Strait, but suffice it say, right now, they don't know how to get it safely back open. Which is unforgiveable, because this part of the disaster was 100% foreseeable.

“Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to the Strait of Hormuz.”

Happy 311 Day! The one day a year you can listen to the band 311 youtu.be/-2nf_MFtnHk?...

SGA in shambles

LFG!

MAGA Voter Claims She Loves High Gas Prices https://theonion.com/maga-voter-claims-she-loves-high-gas-prices/

Today at 7 p.m. ET on the #AEW YouTube channel, AEW Continental Champion Jon Moxley joins Renee Paquette for a lengthy discussion that you won't want to miss. Jon Moxley on #CloseUp with Renee Paquette, today at 7 p.m. ET!

The Union's slow start is a natural byproduct of how they decided to approach the offseason. What I'm most worried about, what I'm not and where I'm concerned about it going onpattison.com/news/2026/ma...

Timeline cleanse

Potential flaming garbage pile on the banks of the Delaware tonight And in other news there is a barge on fire #doop

From all Packers fans

Our government keeps telling us America can't afford universal health care or expanding Medicare for ALL. There's a reason for that.🗽

goddamn is this a breath of fresh air after Allred 2024

No more Exciting Whites. #nfl #NFL #nflmemes #Eagles #Texans #Cowboys #Giants #Commanders

Mike Evans, Ricky Pearsall, George Kittle, and Christian McCaffrey should be a devastating starting lineup for the 3 games they play together in 2026

hey buddy

B00P

REPUBLICAN REP. MASSIE: “The only people benefitting from any of this are Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, people making those drones…”💰 The war industry bomb makers are raking in our taxpayer dollars as people die. #NoWarOnIran

Happy Spring Forward Day youtube.com/shorts/nAvs0...

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

Well…at least I can use my AppleTV subscription to watch F1 since @philadelphiaunion.com are total ass #DOOP

Hey Carnell #DOOP

See y’all at #AEWcollision tonight.

Tonight's XI 🔔 📝 philaunion.co/xi3726 #DOOP

Today, Michelle and I are proud to announce that we will be hosting the dedication ceremony for the Obama Presidential Center on June 18th in Chicago, and welcoming the public on June 19th. We can’t wait for you to visit. Go to obama.org to learn more.

Announcing that I'm ALMOST IN SHAPE

Still more useful than Copilot will ever be.

We need more Thekla interviews.

No Cooper, patients do NOT want AI in our ass.

Mr. President any thoughts on the outbreak of World War III “Jesus Christ would you shut up do you realize a guy from the G League briefly played college basketball?”

This is the hardest "fuck, marry, kill" I've seen in a while.

Some fun news—next Monday, while free agency news is breaking, @benjaminsolak.bsky.social and I will be LIVE over at YouTube.com/@minakimes 12:30 pm ET ✌️

✊⚖️ "I Am Somebody!" 🌟 🕊️ Rev. Jesse Jackson, 1972 Sesame Street

> @benstiller.redhour.com

Trump To Americans: ‘You Won’t Have To Pay Your Son’s Cell Phone Bill When He Dies At War’ https://theonion.com/trump-to-americans-you-wont-have-to-pay-your-sons-cell-phone-bill-when-he-dies-at-war/