Platner's gone

In order to summon a new REPORTED meme, you must first be REPORTED. So uhhh… here is Inde Navarette for your consideration.

Graham Platner Clarifies He Covered Penis With Tattoo After Learning About Its Troubling History

Got an idea for a new REPORTED meme

WELL I’M A GENETIC FREAK, SO I BURN 25% MORE CALORIES THAN YOU FATASSES.

Fun fact: If you remember this screen, you probably woke up with aches and pains this morning. 😂

Cool: San Francisco Bay Area Stadium is now Levi's Stadium again. Not cool: It's Levi's Stadium.

Prediction for tomorrow: @hundreddollarman.bsky.social posts something that gets him REPORTED

BREAKING: Nurses at Mitch McConnell's hospital bedside say they've yelled into his ears, "There's a Black president trying to fill a Supreme Court vacancy!" and he didn't stir at all.

Setting this up for when the announcement comes out that he’s gone to the great turtle terrarium in the sky…

Adventures in working in a new building: My work badge doesn't work for every badge reader on our floor, so I got locked out of the main entrance.

"I spoke with my old friend, Mitch McConnell..."

Look how close my new work building is to a substation @grandmoffjoseph.bsky.social @eccheesehead.bsky.social. RIP me 💀

*flips sign over Strait of Hormuz to “CLOSED”*

Belgium destroying the U.S. 4-1 in the World Cup round of 16 (2026, colorized)

Trump Curse strikes again! #WorldCup

Stay smokin’ that Fed pack

Finally, a fresh face in the WWE main-event scene.

Should've gotten Danhausen on the case smh

Everything Trump touches dies - USMNT edition

"The United States screwed the United States"

Game over USA! You knew what was going to happen cuz everything Trump touches turns to shit.

Get ready for some tariffs, Belgium. LOL

Got one loaded in the chamber for whatever tonight's World Cup match result is.

USA vs. Belgium in Seattle (2026, colorized) (Sorry @eccheesehead.bsky.social)

Yes, put Inde in all the things! | ‘Obsession’ Star Inde Navarrette Open to Marvel Role, Met with ‘X-Men,’ ‘Heat 2’ Directors www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...

I can't post the video because it's not mine, but I'm looking at the newsroom World Cup live updates Slack, and there's a video of somebody blowing a vuvuzela at a dickhead street preacher. Fuck yeah. 😂

From a Dallas resident visiting for USA vs. Belgium, in the Seattle Times: “The buses are everywhere. The city is so walkable. You have one of the cleanest downtowns in America. This downtown is as incredible as any place in the world.” World class city and state.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

Preview of tonight's World Cup match on Monday Night Fútbol featuring Belgium vs. the U.S.

First day in the new newsroom. I couldn't get in because I don't have an updated work badge. D'oh.

IF SHE SAY NO, YOU GOTTA GO

Damn, the U.S. is the only host team left in the World Cup.

From what I can gather, a power transformer blew in my neighborhood. Those damn Decepticons.

England could do the funniest thing...

Aaaand the power just went out at my place.

Viva Mexico, beat those limeys

are you a wizard

Pour one out for all the fingers blasted to smithereens

Absolute banger of an obituary in the Seattle Times today, rest in peace Judy

I’m glad I live in a part of Seattle where I know it’s definitely fireworks 😂

Sorry about your World Cup loss, Canada.

Going from Laura Bailey to Abby Trott as the VA for Persona 4's Best Girl is like the 49ers going from Joe Montana to Steve Young at quarterback.

The Persona 4 Revival Rise Kujikawa trailer. #P4R

America 250. It's not just the years our country has been around. It's also the target weight the panel of doctors are begging Donald Trump to get down to or else he's gonna die.

Happy birthday America! I made you a cake… BUT I THREW IT ON THE GROUND! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND! I’M AN ADULT!

For some Americans, this will be the last day they will have all 10 fingers. 🪦

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY AMERICA WHAT THE FUCK IS UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE

WE OUTSIDE

Please enjoy payday responsibly