[P] 🎶 IT’S BEEN… 🎶

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All moon launches happen during a full moon because it’s 50% harder to hit a half moon two weeks later

CHA

We finally nuked the moon

I guess the good news is these people are still idiots

Just so you understand, this is as if you prepared for argument in front of a panel that included Cookie Monster, and Cookie Monster asked you a question about cookies, and you had not thought about cookies in advance.

DO NOT CONGRATULATE

Here's your "Two Weeks" of The Week

I've worked here for 45 years and they don't let me fuck the shroud, Jimmy.

Trump lashes out at allies after they refuse to help pull him out of the bear trap he stuck his hand into after everyone told him what would happen if he did

The Shroud of Turin is, uh, crusty

Looks like someone discovered the New Testament references the Old Testament multiple times and The Daily Mail ran it with a clickbait headline

Military still unsure if flyover was deliberate or incidental, which is also how most Kid Rock songs are written except with more booze and cocaine probably

Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids

I can’t believe that in 2026 enshitification allows me to say “Visit Fark.com regularly and then sit back and watch everyone repost every news story you saw two days ago”

That's the other half.

Well apparently this is illegal

NYT is not just terrible at politics, they're terrible at everything in exactly the same way

NYT sucks across the board, not just at politics

It's a great way to see how worthless NYT is in a different genre outside of politics

Congrats everyone, we did it

Jenny's book is brilliant and made me laugh SO MUCH and could be really important to a kid with mental health issues. Banning it just shows how evil these right-wings jerks truly are.

The writers for this season of Reality aren't even trying anymore

Buried lede: photo caption says "Black Fox Chocolate" is a brand of cigarettes, and is apparently not a DVD title

The sheriff's offices in Adams County, Pennsylvania and Adams County, Colorado would like you to know that they had nothing to do with the Afroman raid in Adams County, Ohio

"Police have not explained how Webber, a quadruple amputee, was able to drive a car or fire a weapon"

Target Tightens Dress Codes headline could use one specific clarification

I’m old enough to remember when celebrating a conservative white man’s death could get you fired, censured by Congress or kicked off late night television

Lost episode of MST3K got submitted to Fark dot com is my sleeper agent activation phrase.

Your bluesky about fark got posted to Imgur and time is a flat circle imgur.com/gallery/epis...

He died as he lived: batshit insane and roundhouse kicking zombies on direct-to-streaming releases with other failed celebrities. I mean, I assume that's how he lived.

Chuck Norris' final movie will be Zombie Plane, with Vanilla Ice

You say that there is no breaking news on Bluesky, I SAY FUCK THAT THIS IS THE BREAKING NEWS OF ALL BREAKING NEWS AND I LEARNED ABOUT IT HERE ON BLUESKY THE SPORTS APP

Great find btw :)

Lost episode of MST3K just got submitted to Fark.com - there are lost episodes?

And now some actual good news

I did an even deeper dive into Waffle House FEMA guy turns out he has quite a track record

Chuck Norris passes away, immediately passes back just to prove a point

Or, hear me out, we could not start wars

I'm British (living in America) and I got this wrong. Honestly never heard this described at tailgating in my life. Not saying it's wrong, but it's not a universal interpretation in the UK

Tailgating to be outlawed in the UK, but it's not what you think it is if you're American

This week in Madlibs news headlines:

PSA, check your crack for treats because you never know