Lmfao Jesus fucking Christ

I GOT A RESERVATION AT THE SPACESHIP EARTH BAR except it's at 11am lmao

My gluten free bakery stopped ordering their imported GF Italian pasta because of this. I hate these fucking fuckers so much

I'm sorry, those leads? HELLO (louder than everybody else)

"It's just piss" my brother in Christ you touched your dick. Wash your hands.

The social contract is that Florida gives me warmth and in return I overlook how batshit crazy the entire state is. THEY ARE NOT HOLDING UP THEIR END OF THE BARGAIN

I don’t think my heart could stand finding out that Taco Bell and Walmart are just in it for the profit

Okay I'm curious

Only in Florida 🤣

Found a bar at Disney with a happy hour with $10 martinis, $5 wine, and $5 cheeseburgers. If I was a local I would be here nightly 😂

incredibly funny that Joyce Carol Oates owned Musk so hard he's started trying to post like a regular person with normal interests

So what excuse is Mike Johnson going to use now for keeping the house out of session

How about we shut down the government for this very popular and specific goal and then, hear me out, we hold out for like a month and a half and then, ok this part is important, after a watershed election where we ran the table, ONLY THEN, fold and don't get the one thing we said we wanted.

Rochester NY 👈🏽📍

It was a DUSTING, this is transplant behavior www.whec.com/top-news/tra...

News you could really use: Here’s How TurboTax Just Tricked You Into Paying to File Your Taxes www.propublica.org/article/turb...

I am 35 and I have never paid to file taxes in my life because it's a SCAM. I currently use Cashapp to file. Fuck paying anyone for your money

I think I did it wrong

When public transit is easily accessible people can get better jobs that produce economic value and have more money to spend on items fueling the economy and pay more taxes into the system funding the free buses

She gave the Bills $600M in state money for the new stadium

I have to assume is not going to end until Andrew Cuomo has lost every election in the state of New York at least twice

MCO is a FUCKING ZOO right now

sometimes an Oxford comma can make all the difference

This flight has everything...delays. Asks to gatecheck bags. A man wearing too much cologne. Screaming children.

lol flight delayed 2 hours because Jacksonville ATC is short staffed, this bodes well

"I'm leaving New York for a red state" okay you and every other moron who will soon bitch about missing home and long for good bagels and a Wegmans and real public parks, byeeee

This is how my grandpa and one uncle would look after thanksgiving dinner when someone interrupted their post meal nap to ask if they were just studying the inside of their eyelids

The medicine to help my upset stomach has stopped helping and is making me constipated which upsets my stomach

Not true, IBM existed in the 40s

Today I watched two (2) cars in front of me come to a stop on active train tracks in stop and go traffic. Starting to understand why everything is stupid as fuck right now

The New York Times is going through some things, although not, regrettably, a woodchipper.

Riker with his trombone and Data with Spot!! But kinda a bummer no internal set pieces for that price 😭

lol just fuck me abcnews.go.com/US/flight-ca...

Not even real gold, just a color gradient to LOOK gold like a 10 year old discovering word art lmaoooo

oh look at that, he knows about something

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

How it feels living in the only suburb in Monroe county with a town supervisor election who didn't manage to oust their GOP incumbent yesterday

Bitch maybe take a lesson from NYC and learn how to heat your state in the winter

OVER 1 MILLION VOTES.

I appreciate it but I would appreciate it more if Virginia voters would develop object permanence

POST THE BEST CRASHOUTS PLLLLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🥰

If you’re still in line, STAY IN LINE

LOOKS LIKE WOKE’S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS

I don't know what to make of this autocorrect

We had purple and green ketchup and half our candies were various forms of licking things and dipping them in pure sugar dyed in colors that would make a toxic frog blush