Asylum Seekers: You mean insane asylums? Doctored photo: You mean a photo of me as a doctor? Talk of cisgendered: You mean he wants six genders? Illegal aliens: You mean UFO aliens? Mush brain doesn't listen, can't understand, and won't be corrected.

I’m calling on the General Assembly to vote to reconvene for special session to impeach or censure the Governor. Governor Polis commuted Tina Peters’ sentence after the legislative session, likely in an effort to avoid accountability for misconduct. The people of Colorado demand accountability.

They're calling it the stupidest thing you can do in an era made almost entirely out of stupid things you can do

Still too early to call.

I used to feel a little bad that The Onion is about to surpass WaPo in print subs and stopped promoting the membership as a direct foil until today they came out with “Do POOR BABIES deserve DIAPERS???” so therefore

Death Uber for Cutie Matchbox 30 Hearing Impaired Leppard Astrosmith Much Better Than Ezra Ben Folds and Puts Away Five

JK Rowling is now represented by a trans person in the Scottish parliament. Absolutely incredible.

whenever I play golf I like to shout “four!” to remind everyone how many multifamily housing complexes could be built on each hole

Sharing, without comment, British newspapers’ depictions of the only Jewish person currently leading a UK political party . Times. Mail. Telegraph. Sun.

<Sergei, carrying a gun, breaks through a window to enter the room> Putin: "Refenestration, my greatest weakness!!"

Father & son

The most infuriating thing about this is that his entire campaign was him saying “this time I’m going to be so much worse, you fuckers have no idea how shitty I’m gonna be”

can't have an x for gender on your American passport but you're forced to have a picture of rapist pedophile

How Volodymr Zelenskyy manages to survive in a literal war without a ballroom to keep him safe is just shocking to me.

Jeffrey Epstein already did

Sowing/Reaping

Had this up my sleeve for months just WAITING for Trump to pull a "sir story" so I could use it, and wow this was a whopper of one

Breaking News: Bari Weiss

we know

I am collecting a full set of error messages today. #Bluesky is working perfectly. No notes.

🇭🇺🇷🇸🇸🇰 Peter Magyar: "I know exactly what's going on in Serbia. I know the ties between Orban and Vucic in Serbia, between Orban and Fico in Slovakia, and I know who is the godfather behind all these ties."

Very pleased and sort of stunned to be part of the new class of Guggenheim fellows.

You know I knew that Door Dash woman looked familiar

Pope Leo is no angel.

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the Pope and his cardinals who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

“Pope Leo is weak on crime” Trump pardoned 1600 skinheads on day 1 and 75% of them got out and immediately molested a child before they even got home

Viktor Orban to join Harvard Institute of Politics @nytpitchbot.bsky.social

Be funny if Usha was like “how’d the trip go?”

It’s time for memes :)

I spent 16, SIXTEEN years fighting this crap. I can’t believe it 😭

So the Hungarian opposition's big idea was Vote Harder? And they thought, what, that they could vote the fascists out?

Current status of the Strait of Hormuz dispute

It's the eternal cycle of American politics.

Bibi be like

Because the "less genocide" is the superior option to "more genocide". It's really that simple and that limited. People didn't want to vote for the harm reduction option because it wasn't instantly ending all harm everywhere and so we got the harm increase option.

From a post: “Told my wife to have dinner ready by 6 or I'll obliterate her entire civilization. So anyway, she now charges me a fee to use the bathroom that used to be free, and I didn't get any dinner, but I'm pretty sure I won that exchange.”

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

*talking to teenage militant atheist self* current me: okay so there’s a big fight between the government and the catholic church teenage me: got it, so we’re obviously on the side of the government current me: I, uh, you might want to sit down for this one

You fuckers out there who just couldn’t suck it up for one term and vote for Kamala; was it worth all of this?

The gas price reducer has logged on.

The biggest story in the world right now is that the president of the United States is a demented old man who takes pleasure in torturing and killing people and is committing crimes with impunity. And yet most legacy media outlets are too cowardly to tell it like it is.

"Are ya winning, son?"

What do you call an orgy with people and their lookalikes? A doppelgangbang.