Bought a cooling mat for the cat. Went for small dog rather than cat size as he's a chonk and he just about fits, should probably have gone for medium dog 🤦‍♀️

The boyfriend genuinely just asked me if I know who Epic Sax Guy is which led to outage and a lecture about the history of Moldova in Eurovision

Never seen this before! Oddly enough didn't get wheeled out for Rainbow or Count Duckula.

I swore in front of my line manager for the first time today which is a bit like swearing at the queen but in my defence there was a MASSIVE FUCKING HORNET FLYING AT ME and I was generally praised for keeping so calm and opening a window 😅

Quote with a fictional band that is not Spinal Tap

I spent weeks trying to verify whether something widely attributed to someone was apocryphal and eventually hunted down his obituary from the 1830s which was the original source of such claims. Those breakthroughs are the most joyous part of research, why would you skip it?

Pick a Bond from the photos you already have on your phone.

Wes Streeting origin story

Was not expecting this screenshot to get so much use in 2026. And I still miss Dawn.

I feel a lot of David Attenborough's hard work with nature preservation is to cover for how much of a mess his brother made of that dinosaur theme park.

Maybe if he'd done some of that in the last few years rather than pandering to the far right he wouldn't be haemorrhaging votes to the Greens and Lib Dems 🤷‍♀️ Starmer could bring back hamging and would still be considered too liberal for most Regorm voters so why waste time engaging with them?

A reminder that this is why we make fun of The Odyssey. The book would not exist if Odysseus was not such a complete chaos goblin who was busy causing problems for himself by arguing with Gods and being a shit navigator. There is no way to make an extremely serious movie out of this material.

Ooops

Is that not literally the legal responsibility of a licencee, though?

What does this even mean and how is it not covered by the endless OfS conditions of registration we already have to comply with?

Adulthood is just cycling between "If I don't say yes to every opportunity, no new opportunities will ever be offered to me" and "Oh no, I have said yes to too many things" over and over until you die.

If you see this, post a bird

Post your warning sign

These are extraordinary findings for the High Court to make. Hard to see how the so-called Office for Students can survive in its current form.

Check your Sertraline if you're on it in the UK www.gov.uk/government/n...

Some students in the coffee place were excitedly talking about how great all the retro tunes were. Katy Perry. They were playing Katy Perry. And then I realised Teenage Dream came out 16 years ago and was probably a classic of their primary school discos.

Based on what else I've read of his I'd put money on the fact she's going to breast boobily down the stairs.

Everyone else is frolicking in lovely sundresses whilst I've just realised with mild horror my sun-safe look is basically Honey G

My colleague is eating tinned mackerel in the office and just had a conversation so loud I couldn't hear the person literally standing next to my desk but in-person working is definitely more productive

And these people claim to love the country...they just don't want to pay for it 🙄

What's the point of universities, eh? 🙄 www.universitiesuk.ac.uk/what-we-do/p...

A fun new game the cat has instigated is, "have you always had these markings or have you been rubbing your face on the bike chain again?" 🤦‍♀️

I had an A Level on my 18th birthday and vowed in that sweaty sports hall, never again. 38 this year and still never worked my birthday. What's the point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes?

Passport office: you are banned from doing anything that gives your face any definition in this photo you're stuck with for the next decade Me: 🌝

"Lads!"* *gender neutral

University grading is obsolete and nonsensical and if we insist on grading from 0-100 (but realistically only using about half within that range) we should at least award students a number as there is absolutely zero discernable difference between a 59 (2:2) and a 60 (2:1)

We have just had the same conversation about Top Cat being Boss Cat when I was a kid and I'm still not convinced he entirely believes me about any of this.

The joke is I'm not even a demagogue Have you heard me giving a speech? My facts are invented I sound quite demented So deluded it beggars belief

If we're gonna be nuked overnight at least my last act will have been seeing the Pet Shop Boys

Wasn't that a channel 4 reality show back in the day?

I've had this book for ~6 months and it's taken me embarrassingly long to realise this is probably an eagle and not a copyright-avoiding dalek...

Apparently I have to work tomorrow? This definitely feels like some sort of infringement of my human rights.

Southeastern's excuses are getting so creative this morning I'm half convinced it's a bit for April Fool's

Delighted to discover the cold I couldn't shake off for a fortnight has now segued directly into hayfever 🤧

Who would have thought that relying on a finite resource in an unstable geopolitical region would turn out to be a bad idea

I know everyone’s busy but can we find time to also agree that PE teachers need to be rounded up and brought to justice?

Me discovering Scott Mills has been sacked for being a wrongun

Scott Mills Misconduct Sweepstakes

Reposted with ALT cos its funny . How using an algorithim to select photos for your news article is going:

My boyfriend is only two years younger than me but today I have had to explain who Bananaman is and that in my day they were Hero Turtles not Ninja Turtles and I feel about 700 years old.

Signed.

List of all the countries in the world that ban all Afghan women from studying in their sovereign Higher Education institutions: 1. Afghanistan 2. United Kingdom Must make you proud to wave your flags, UK patriots with legitimate concerns. Wave them!!!