may or may not have accidentally drank a spiderweb do you still think i'm hot

hey i ate all the croutons and cheese in your salad do you want all these leaves back

ovi you fuckin did the damn thing

need to stop saying "a cigarette" whenever someone asks me what i'm craving for dinner or whatever i quit like 8 years ago but

bring woke back www.cnn.com/2025/03/28/u...

"remember you are one" the substance [handshake] severance

severance s2 finale where everything is the same except mark squeaks like a chew toy when drummond punches him in the face

severance prestige television

gemma scout has suffered more than jesus christ

society erred when we removed the computer from its honored place in the home and ushered it into every part of our profane world. we must rebuild the temple of the Computer Room

drafting resignation letters just to feel something

we've progressed past the need for more ted lasso actually

boss asked me how i was doing and i said i was thinking of growing a mullet again and all coworkers gave a knowing sympathetic nod

Well at least we tried our worst

Happy International Women’s Day to the most international woman of all: the woman trapped on the International Space Station

one thing about harmony cobel is my girl be driving, anyway, here's vroom vroom by charli xcx

harmony cobel the woman in stem you are

anyway in other news i got my septum to 12g and my lobes to 4g these are the small sexy victories i'm riding high on

the severance subreddit is a fascinating study on people who watch tv shows with their eyes and ears closed

Demi Moore can still win if she takes Pennsylvania

had to remind myself this was hockey related but also that it's hockey related

fall in love again and again at the combination lumon blood drive, lumon fertility clinic, eagan emporium, lumon pd, and lumon staged death and kidnapping

this most important plot point of severance is that half of it takes place within keanu reeves

a big sandwich might be life changing

stretch so good it reopens your incisions

yeah i'm insane about severance i had to wait 3yrs on that cliffhanger for s2 i've done irreparable damage to the infrastructure of my enclosure

another surgery another fight with my dog whomst considers my current inability to cradle her like a baby as an act of war

If you are a cis person *please* take 2 minutes to do this. Trans people with non-updated gender markers, historical gender marker changes, and X markers are terrified to travel right now; rolling back this policy would mean a lot.

need y'all to know that the very first convo i had with my surgeon yesterday when i woke up was about how much i miss the costco combo pizza

huge congrats to all the polycules sharing their vessels on severance tonight

make it faster make it worse

I hope America is as lucky as the delta jet - everyone survives but the right wing explodes

snuck in one more surgery before i lose my job and insurance can i get a beleaguered hell yeah

It's obviously important for elected officials to be accountable to voters. However, if I had a job where it took a bunch of strangers calling my office and telling me how to do things for me to make good choices, it would be fair to say I was bad at that job.

Even if American news outlets refuse to cover the protests happening all over the country, I hope international news outlets pick it up. It feels like we’re yelling as loudly as we can that this is wrong and we oppose it and everyone is like “wow crazy that American citizens are fine with this”

perhaps i'll never be convinced that devon and ricken are truly in love in severance because jen tullock is such a powerful constantly wife posting real life lesbian

get a connie tattoo or else

THEMension20 with ally beardsley, alex song-xia, vic michaelis, and erika ishii

now is a great time to launch my shady and opaquely sourced meat pie business

If I get on a plane and the takeoff announcements don't contain a land acknowledgement or the pilots' pronouns, I am jumping off the fucking thing.

feels very bourgeois to wish our fascists at least weren't so tacky, but man they really give it their all

don't forget to leave out ungreased poles, gasoline, cars yearning for overturn, and fireworks for philadelphians tonight, go birds

Super Bowl blowouts usually suck but this one is a work of art, just a complete middle finger to everything that’s happening

Congratulations to Super Bowl LIX champion Kendrick Lamar

"I want to perform their favorite song, but you know they love to sue" - Kendrick Lamar