whoever does it is gonna be remembered for centuries and reincarnated as a lotus flower

Not beating those "Great Satan" allegations

No point in bothering with a healthy lunch I guess!

It should be 100% legal for every person in the US to try.

they got rid of pay phones to make it harder to anonymously threaten government officials

I’m Kirstie Alley smoking a soup spoon

If you have any information at all on these plans, now is the time to share it. Reach me on Signal at marisakabas.04

Will Walter Reed do a 5150?

This is where it REALLY kicked off. No one wanted to make the birthday boy sad. Well now we’re all about to be fucking sad. Particularly every single living creature in the Middle East!

We all have blood on our hands, and I never voted for him, donated, gave time, made calls, and I'm not clean. Some are dirtier than others, but make no mistake, it's on us all.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but I will never vote to convict you.

Quick survey: Repost this if you know who Susan Lucci is.

extremely bad time for an astronaut to find out he's a werewolf

stuck my dick in the bsky reset hole

There is a path. It’s the path that Michael Vick walked. He has worked with the Humane Society for the last 17 years to educate folk about animal cruelty. He says he’ll do that work for the rest of his life. Call me when Louis or Kanye devotes even one weekend to making reparation.

“Why would two men get married?” They fell in love. “What is Health Insurance and why do you need it” well,

Everyone who went to college for STEM, especially grad school: LOL (Especially in grad school: Most of your classmates are from MENA and the subcontinent. It would be way easier for the university to admit white Americans. They don’t because there aren’t enough in the applicant pool)

Rumford, Maine. Too small to do or see much (“city” status is based on government structure not size). On the plus side it has the same amount of crime as a much larger city

i am hearing that on his deathbed donald trump received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. even now he…oh he’s still alive? he decided to just praised allah?

Happy Easter to metal kids everywhere \m/

This is what all the tax money is for. This is why you can’t have healthcare. This is why your parents have to sign their house away if they need a nursing home in their old age. It’s all for this (janky garbage that doesn’t work)

Soundtrack for today: Happy Resurrection Day, everyone!

Look man everybody dies. You may as well do it for something cool. Like stealing a cop’s gun

At the gym, praise be

alright christian god i know we’ve had our quarrels but i am prepared to ‘go catholic’ if you make it happen for comedy effect today specifically. i won’t half ass it like i do with judaism either. i’ll wear the thing on my head and eat the crackers and shit

Every single person who allows this late-stage dementia-addled man to continue in office for a single additional minute belongs in The Hague.

I’m gonna highlight this on main. You’re not a bad person if you can’t help your kid with math homework but you do need to reach out to the teacher to find out what resources there are. Kids learn particular methods as building blocks for later. My daughter’s school has a lot of -

I forget if I’ve mentioned it on here or not. I was the organist at my church when I was in high school.

today we remember the one who willingly suffered and died before the glorious celebration of the day he was raised from the dead, heralding his victory over death 😔

Homelessness is a huge problem here in Maine and around the country. As a candidate for U.S. Senate I support the Housing First model, which prioritizes housing w/o preconditions. This morning I was happy to participate in Hike for Homeless, a fundraising for our homeless shelter here in Bangor, ME.

Enter Sandman should sound fucking sick on this thing

Assbott knows!

my Asian wife hates my fuckin guts no matter how racist I am 😮‍💨

We wish you blessed Easter holidays! How will you spend them?

A solemn reenactment of the Stations of the Cross for this holy day 🙏🏽 🐺 m.youtube.com/watch?v=po-u...

I thought I remembered Glinner talking about his wife’s abortion and I see further down the thread that I was right. Transphobia: Not Even Once

Society has such unrealistic beauty standards for women.. Luckily I don’t have to conform to any of them because I am naturally beautiful

Hey, would you like to sell your baby? I’ve recently had a miscarriage and have been following you on Facebook for a while now. She’s so beautiful and well tbh..she looks more like me anyway. I've already given her a nickname and bought things for her.

Rip to every president who lost a war in the middle east but I’m different. And better. Maybe even good enough to win a war in the middle east

Zut alors! J'ai envie de me suicider

AAA members can get discounts at Shell gas stations and April has a promotional extra discount for new signups. FYI.

So, how long until the Iranians tell the negotiators “No deal until he’s in a box”

“Please share your feedback with Blue Cross Blue Shield” Haha sure! Check out this loaded gun

Powerwolf Easter Special - celebrate the season the wild way. Get a free Powerwolf T-shirt with every order in the official Powerwolf shop, available from April 2 to April 6. Only while supplies last, once they’re gone, they’re gone. Head to powerwolf-shop.com

who else is up ironing their warriors #neonjawboneart

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers (forgot headphones at gym)