Just ONCE I would like the opportunity to bring MY longevity protocols to massage robots

Gift link! www.nytimes.com/2025/09/23/w...

Duwayne Baugh is his wife’s prime caregiver as she battles a rare and aggressive cancer. But a years-old gun charge has the legal permanent resident in ICE detention, facing deportation to a country he hasn’t set foot in since 1995. www.thecity.nyc/2025/09/22/d...

In case of rapture this Bluesky account will be UNMANNED

ICE agents held a man’s five year old autistic daughter and taunted him with “Is that your daughter” in an attempt to get him to come out of the house. They were rebuffed but two days later took him from his car.

if you’re in line to get raptured, STAY IN LINE

This is horrific and feels like it should be a bigger deal. Business Insider reports that people who have worked at xAI have seen Grok create images and written material with child sex abuse material. www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-gr...

which coach will win, the special teams savant with 15+ years experience on the job and a super bowl on his resume or the big dumb tight end who just wants his football team to go to heaven

These two cats both love Rosalie but want nothing to do with each other and it results in a lot of scenes like this

think everyone who only got into the NFL in the last two or three years have to understand just how insane it is that the detroit lions can beat anyone's ass in a given week

Ravens defense has given up 41 and 38 points to teams they've played not quarterbacked by Joe Flacco.

With this defeat, the Ravens fall to No. 3 in the nfl power rankings while the Lions move up six spots to No. 11

this is what people do in the BEFORE section of infomercials

Derrick Henry’s signature move (fumbling)

Jared Goff actively deciding “I would rather not win this game” mid-play is something u don’t see too much of these days

Smart move by the Ravens early in this game to involve their tight end, Todd Heap

Absolutely fascinated by the topography of Troy Aikmans face.

Exciting news in my neighborhood, as the Bareburger restaurant and bar that closed in 2024 after a long run of being a mid neighborhood establishment with few customers before leaving the space completely vacant for a year is *finally* re-opening as ... a Bareburger

"kristi noem and corey lewandowski, who we can confirm are not only dating but running DHS together" absolutely cursed sentence

Unspeakable brutality. www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/09/tran...

started to look this up and was reminded how good Google is now

It's insane to me how much Mich Ultra has taken off and is the most virtue-signaling Work Event Drink bullshit on the planet when Miller Lite is nearly identical in carbs/calories but actually sorta tastes like something other than water.

22-year-old Ward Sakeik, a Palestinian woman who has lived in Texas since she was 9, says her experience in federal detainment could only be identified as “human trafficking.” And she’s not staying quiet about the women she was forced to leave behind. thebarbedwire.com/2025/09/22/w...

So cool they discovered the cause of autism on basically day they guessed they would. I’m also glad they are withholding this information for a few days to prep for a WrestleMania-style announcement. This is how science works.

Eat The Ball, My Ass (I Won't Eat The Ball)

do we think it's good that entire economy is based on the same entities passing money back and forth on speculative investment without anyone making anything that someone outside the loop is buying

By Friday evening, Microsoft, Google, and Amazon had sent urgent communications to foreign employees, according to emails reviewed by WIRED, advising them to return to the states before the Sunday deadline set in the proclamation.

Again already? That's awesome. I have prepared a complete history of the Rapture leading up to Tuesday's Rapture:

any “but this would incentivize DPI” argument can be instantly countered by like. putting on a college football game. no that doesn’t really happen

1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers on our new series: Encircled. Subscribe at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ to get the paper delivered to your door.

Harrison Butker, the back-to-the-kitchen, women! Chiefs kicker developing a version of the yips where he keeps missing chipshot kicks far to the right, is one of the funnier developments of this year. Six mandatory workplace DEI workshops will fix this.

who up exploding into they B gap

hey i’ve been out today not really looking at football scores - what the fuck is happening here

It's wild how so many of the "timeless biblical truths" we grew up with were popularized like 50 years ago.

📽️ WATCH: Epidemiologist Erin McCanlies spent much of the past 20 years studying how parents’ exposure to toxic chemicals affects the chances that they will have an autistic child. RFK Jr. cut her entire division — yet promises to identify the causes of autism by September: https://propub.li/4nhXQua

NEW: Air Force jets are doing ICE flights to Africa with transponders turned off, making them nearly un-trackable. This includes the third-country removal to Ghana and another secret flight. We figured out where it landed. From me for @rollingstone.com: www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...

Paging @sickoscommittee.org to Blackburn vs Ipswich being abandoned due to water on the field. This is how they tested it. #SickosFC

Week 3 NFL Update: these guys STINK

The University of Philadelphia Eagles

most underrated addition to a turkey sandwich is, imho, a few slices of crisp, sweet apple

nice touchdown! *Removes garden hose from garage*

The only hot honey I care about is MY WIFE

[reading entire timeline since midnight] I bet this shit hits so hard if you’re stupid

it’s very amusing that the broadcast is praising Florida’s offense for looking so improved in the second half (where they have scored 7 points) compared to the first (where they scored zero)

Just realized this photo also contains (or Sully's head is just blocking) @robertloerzel.bsky.social, @lyz.bsky.social, @elongreen.bsky.social, @nocartridge.bsky.social, @jcrutchmer.bsky.social, @nicolechung.bsky.social, @rickpaulas.bsky.social and @sabs.bsky.social. buy their books

More than that. "The FBI ***recorded*** Tom Homan taking the money "after indicating he could help the agents — who were posing as business executives — win government contracts in a second Trump administration."

Really would rather do anything other than defend OU but the hideout play should just be straight up legal

Media execs have fallen prey to a propaganda and harassment campaign that has completely divorced them from what people actually want right now. Both their insular information environments (group chats, podcasts) and ambient noise (Twitter reactionaries) have put them in a very stupid bubble.

New: The federal probe of Charlie Kirk’s killing has yet to find a link between Tyler Robinson & LW groups, per 3 sources familiar “Every indication so far is that this was one guy who did one really bad thing because he found Kirk’s ideology personally offensive” www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...