i regret to inform you that they made the guide a twink

tfw i was gonna ask a guy from work out for drinks but my claudeswarm spoke to his about it for me and they decided with a 98% confidence interval that he was out of my league :(

just winded myself by jumping onto my sofa too enthusiastically

blessed apple news pull

You make me sick… I’m going to hug my Ronald Reagan plush and weep

Was too realistic

i do not care for the discourse over the term “bi lesbian”. call me when they invent “bi straight girls”

can my neighbour please shut the fuck up? im trying to be hungover and depressed in peace and the baseline coming through my walls isn’t helping anything

how do the fat people in wall-e fuck

hi, im a glacier

welp, the year is over. all in all it’s been fun w lots of firsts. definitely an improvement from ‘24, though that’s true of most years of my life. somewhat sad it had to end with me alone and still very ill trying desperately to not throw up on myself while i do my injection

getting tzatziki with it

getting greeky with it

giving a guy a handjob and he tells me that i have the index to ring finger ratio of a passoid

was just thinking the other day how great it is that i don’t seem to get that man flu thing where every other cold knocks you on your ass for 5 days ever since starting hrt turns out you can still very much get regular flu however, and it feels just as bad and even more painful

cock, robot cock cock, robot cock cock, robot cock cock, robot cock

i haven’t had a fever like this in over a year. im not having a nice time

what’s with the date?

gdi why did my mum send me home with all the leftover christmas alcohol

i really wasn’t expecting the war between the land and sea go full the shape of water by episode 4

left a suitcase out with some prog in it and my cat was chewing one of the suppositories…. he’s fine now but did spend the afternoon sleeping it off

super mario 3d world has no soul. it’s an incredibly beautiful game but the actual gameplay is not ensouled

banning the thing that you can make a much less safe version of out of duct tape or bandages couldn’t possibly have any harmful effects. genius move from the US government here

“cost per child” hes talking about two surgeries that are basically never done on under 18s in america

2 major faults in my mock driving test today… (just one would be an instafail) guess there’s two ways in which im never gonna pass

>looking at ffs photos >after has makeup >before has no makeup deeply unhelpful, what are we even doing here

i suck at FPS games so much, like i didn’t start playing them till about 16 so every time i do im just instakilled by some sweat who’s got the muscle memory ingrained from having 500 hours in COD by age 12

it is the 1910’s, the US swears blind that neutrality towards europe is the best way to go while pursuing aggressive intervention in south america it is the 2020’s, the US swears blind that neutrality towards europe is the best way to go while pursuing aggressive intervention in south america

yknow what? borzoi steam attack

fucking hell why was that last injection so painful. felt like the needle was red hot or covered in acid. this hasn’t happened before

had a dream where me and my dad were fighting with chairs. i won by getting the loop where the backrest is round his neck and pulling

i had a friend who was late to class multiple times from jacking off

Q3. Which of the following describes you best -female -male -sex -scrap metal dealer

pearl harbour was an inside job. look at any map and you can see japan is all the way on the other side that americas on, no way the planes went that far

playing FTL for the about the 100th time and have to conclude that the way to win is to get the scrap recovery arm in the first/early second sector. everything else is pretty much optional but you NEED that extra scrap to snowball properly

idk why but “You’re a real asshole, pal” is by far the funniest part of this commment

adorable creature…

AND HAVE I TOLD YOU ALLLL ABOUT THE TIME THAT I GOT SUCKED INTO A HOLE through a handheld device I will flashback now and again but im usually alright

unironically a pretty underrated album

why isnt it summer. fix this

you ever think about how theres probably at least one russian lesbian who’s deadname was yuri

top track this year was the song i put on repeat to do my shot to. smh i need to listen to more music