diogenes was basically the most relatable greek philosopher for me bc im also pretty epic winsauce and the teacher would always get owned by me when i was in school

the dog from mug root beer's all time fav movie is the red shoes

zach gilliganakis

watching gremblings one

picking the most pathetic looking producer in hollywood to pitch my family friendly cuckold fetish inclusive Christmas special: "i saw mommy kissing santa claus"

what if I drank the christmas beer

diogenes was basically the most relatable greek philosopher for me bc im also pretty epic winsauce and the teacher would always get owned by me when i was in school

i was thinking abt sandra lee when i was gonna look up a chicken recipe in a cookbook and i flipped to the s part of the index

happy eve

it's almost Australian Christmas! have you made yr traditional christmas fried rice yet? 🦘🐨🪃🇦🇹☃️🦌🌌

#1 question Santa gets in interviews is does he know who banksy is (he does but he's not telling) and whether he's on the naughty or nice list (santa demurs: 'well which do *you* think he's on?')

i did *not* buy 😾

say what you will this christmas eve, but waffle house never went woke for a second

stealing incest kink valor bc rly i just wanna be loved unconditionally

the reason you watch anime dubs is to hear a lady from north carolina try her best to do a natural japanese affirmative "mmm"

it's glorious christmas eve 😸

stealing incest kink valor bc rly i just wanna be loved unconditionally

there's probably like a rly funny fish out of water comedy abt bringing me to christmas with yr family

i remixed the education connection jingle 😸

sipping on the beer that makes me think abt my dad's gay lover, chip

i just think things would be easier if a beautiful woman was telling me what to eat and when to work out and just in general what to do at any given moment

i met the binging with babish guy in a dark alley and he told me he doesn't even like pop culture he's just in it for the filthy cashola

short form video content has been rapidly subjecting sandwiches to ccg style power creep where the amount of toppings has been increasing at the same rate as the size of the bread to where now people are making sandwiches with dimensions roughly the same as a raw pork shoulder

i should start telling more lies like "ive eaten every food on earth"

i wanna be the kind of straight woman who kisses women and hates her husband

we should all have a big christmas discourse and use it to help promote my mixtape

middle manager domme who has a couple toys she's in charge of but still has to answer to the lady in charge and step in to get flogged when the shop is short staffed

what an unctuous donut!

"yr dad's not gay" is prob the second most devastating insult on the modern playground, only surpassed by "my dad would never kiss yr dad"

if they tried to do severance to me id smack them with martial arts like "wha-pow!"

im easy to shop for bc basically if it's got a cat or angel involved I'll like it

eventually we're all going to have to have a reckoning with the fact that "choo choo" is a demeaning thing to call a train

woah check out these sweet skill games they got at this kroger

i don't know how to promote music but this mixtape im gonna release is gonna be so good you should listen even if you think ambient music is boring 🥺

i could handle digital monsters and im fine if we call them digimon but did they *have* to be the champions? 😖

i remixed the education connection jingle 😸

id be good at producing a hip hop record i think

i drink coffee so i can be hungry for more coffee later

this tv show has a character who's like a plausible society pages type of figure who everyone refers to as "firstname lastname" and i rly assumed he was a cameo but no he's fully fictional

getting downloaded probably feels good as fuck for an archive.org item

the omelas child but they have to make youtube steak content

there was an old man at the farmers market wearing a full head foam rubber grinchmask talking to kids and a lot of the kids were crying

a dutch guy just came into this hot pot restaurant and threw an elf or smth into one of the pots

heard some french guy talking abt 'les simpsons' so i reminded him that patty and selma are marge's sisters so their last name is bouvier and selma is actually straight

filming movies with my dad

a dutch guy just came into this hot pot restaurant and threw an elf or smth into one of the pots

successfully got audio off the tascam and onto the computer 😸

my parents shoulda put me on puberty blockers and signed me up for gymnastics lessons so I could've been The Tumbling Castrato and then id have a nice nest egg and blank slate for a perfectly clean sex change

i actually was born this way sorry ill try and not do that next time :(