The Justin Lofton-Eddie Sharp reunion video was way better than the real bad takes man would stop making bad takes man would stop making bad takes man would stop making bad takes so I finished reassembling the carburetor and getting the joke itself

JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this

I think anything other than a 0 on the “sex offender scale” is bad

Best record in baseball since 4/4 Won 12 of the last 13 Swept the Yankees 4th best record in the majors 15-3 record again AL opponents 20th-best odds Also one spot higher than the Athletics, who themselves are ahead of 4th-highest Seattle

The Rays are on fire! - Six wins in a row! - Ten straight wins at home! - Thirteen consecutive games allowing 3 runs or fewer - a new franchise record!

“ChatGPT, how do I rob a convenience store” ass criminal

Ted Turner is fine with me because he started TBS, which eventually gave us “The Chimp Channel,” a sitcom whose cast was entirely chimpanzees and orangutans in costumes.

RIP to one of the more underrated Conan bits

Good news for KLM, as they won’t be the most disastrous thing Tenerife is known for.

They should do a Demo Drive for people who have jobs

My mom and I made the slideshow tonight for my grandmother’s funeral on Saturday and I worked in a picture of me from 2002 in a Harvick shirt and another of my uncle from 2008 in a Dale Jr shirt.

when the man kicked napoleon in the pocket to destroy his "tots".... i felt that

Oh yeah, I never posted my Texas car because I never raced this weekend.

I turned on my cable box and it was still on the local channel that shows Lightning games, and they’re bizarrely showing some weird news magazine story about Kyle Busch at Michigan in 2005.

When the last neurons fire off in my brain and you see me smile, there's a good chance I'll be thinking of this Conan bit at the end of it all.

Everyone knows that when the Taco Bell messes my parents’ house closed in 2012 and then a Korean place moved in, it was just the latest sign of a greater global sociopolitical takeover.

IT’S STAR WARS DAY SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

It really is something that the generation raised on a computer game about inexpensive yet dangerous travel across the country is stepping up to save Spirit Airlines.

My statement on the Carolina Hurricanes vs Philadelphia Flyers. Had to dig deep for this one.

Lando isn’t that great of a character. He turned Han over to Vader, then felt bad about it, put Han’s clothes on and started flying the Falcon around. If he were introduced in the Disney era, people would have lost their minds that he was just a “cool, suave guy” caricature with little substance.

Looking around nervously as I grab the shaker at my local pizza because I don’t want anyone to think I’m a chud looking for biblically-approved protein

The whole point of a guy saying "not clear" into your ear is to cover your blind spot smart guy.

which one of these did they take him to

At least the Rays are playing well. See you this fall, Bolts.

I don’t understand why people on this website have to reply to stuff they don’t know about and also make it clear in the reply that they have no idea what it’s about

Here come the sunglasses-in-trucks brigade with the 23XI conspiracies

- Me, 3/31/1998

Why am I seeing a Drew Brees home warranty commercial playing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” on my TV in May?

Make it stop

Intentionally walking Caminero to face Aranda, the league leader in RBI, was certainly a choice that was made

Oh snap, Bell

Brett Phillips running like a mad man in the mascot race today 😂😂

lol Charles?

Go Oscar

There. Michael is on NASCAR’s side. Can we let him fight this battle so social media can stop?

The White House posts this. Gasoline is now at $4.33/gal. The GOP is testing a strategy of pure, streaming, nonstop lies.