Ilhands Omar

Res ipsa loquitor

Really impressive that the Nats managed to replace Bob and FP with an even worse broadcasting team

The biggest mistake WaPo made was running away from local in a misguided attempt to compete with NYT instead of investing in making the paper essential for the community it purports to serve. It’s pointless to destroy what makes the paper distinctive trying to compete with NYT for national clicks.

As Jim Cramer awoke one morning from uneasy dreams…

These deep video analyses have been the most valuable journalism of the past weeks, and this one is just devastating. www.nytimes.com/video/us/100...

if CBS and the Washington Post both gut their newsrooms this week, that’s the nail in the coffin for the “just find a nice billionaire and settle down” theory of media preservation

Spencer Strider knows what time it is.

If the paper is going to die I would rather it had died with honor under the Grahams than the way it’s going out under Bezos.

Curious why ICE and CBP agents are so brutal? Here's a useful explainer I wrote last week, before Saturday's outrageous murder, about how uniquely unsuited ICE and CBP are for this moment—and why they were so corruptible into Trump's own fascist secret police: www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/ice-101-ho...

Not if you’re a fan of the Washington Nationals.

on an amtrak pulling into union station just before the snow starts and they’ve instructed everyone trying to go further than DC to meet in the cafe car for what I can only assume is the announcement that agatha christie is their new conductor

"I BOUGHT the BRACELET at the BLOOMINGDALE'S near BARRINGTON and BUNDY. It was a BEAUTIFUL BAUBLE for my BUBBE'S BIRTHDAY..." (h/t to @pattonoswalt.bsky.social)

The people who'll tell you today's murder victim in Minnesota shouldn't have turned up to a protest carrying a gun are the same people who said Kyle Rittenhouse was perfectly entitled to do the same thing.

Insanity

I have spent my entire adult life being lectured by Republican politicians and conservative legal movement types about how important it is to preserve the sacred constitutional right to self-defense of *specifically this person* and then secret police murdered him in the street

There’s a sad irony in Dan posting this about another Italy Winter Olympics.

On a downtown street in Minneapolis, as people stream out from the massive march, Mary Tyler Moore says “fuck ice.”

They were eventually allowed one phone call as a thanks for saving the agent’s life. They used it to call their lawyer, who called their state representative, who ultimately got them released on the condition they tell people they were “treated kindly.”

Two women trained as first responders were abducted by three ICE agents. One of the agents starts seizing. The other two don’t know what to do. The women jump into action and save the agent’s life, only to be re-handcuffed and processed. www.startribune.com/detained-by-...

They’re going to take the paper down to just the A section.

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

So was Mengele.

no matter how hard Greg Bovino tries to exude rugged masculinity he always comes off like Don Knotts in a Portlandia sketch

I just thought everyone should see this

Buying a Powerball ticket puts me in the conversation to have a top-five bank account.

burghum: hey kids, meet coalie coalie: hi kids! we're gonna be best friends! kids: yayyyyyyy!! burghum: we will now b u r n h i m. kids: [horrified shrieks as coalie is set ablaze]

That’s the premise? A straight remake of the Lundgren/Langella He-Man?

Everybody shut the fuck up and pay attention to the most important thing happening at this moment.

punchline's worth it on this one

Good Ed Wynn impression > bad racist songs Give me a buddy movie with King Candy and Smee.

Armed federal agents can’t storm your house if housing is unaffordable

Literally destroying the best parts of the 20th century to emulate the worst parts.

hey guys, just to confirm this is my fundraiser. i didn't want to ask for help, but i do need it. my cancer is back. i am going through a lobectomy next week, the same surgery Walter White undergoes. i can't express how grateful i am. thank you so much everyone. www.gofundme.com/f/support-ge...

This is what Rob Manfred took from us.

When this is over, amoral anti-American law firms like Jones Day will eagerly be running Operation Paperclip for the lawless scum of the Trump DoJ like D. John Sauer, and the profession has to find a way to inflict debilitating harm on those firms and their managers or give up on the rule of law.

Evergreen

Watching the Greenland thing unfold really does feel like a psychotic break except instead of me breaking away from reality it's reality breaking away from me

Remake of Going My Way but the old priest is a boomer with an AOL email address and the young priest has a TikTok.

I found my new crank opinion: federal law requiring online bookstores to disclose when they’re going to send you a crummy print on demand version instead of a quality paperback.

get in, no time to explain

🙏

we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)