one way I'll hand it to donald trump: talking and acting like an extremely stupid middle school bully truly resonated with a lot of people. like WAY more folks than I ever, ever would've expected. "'sleepy joe' lol, where does he get his material"

fucked up to think about but there was two grinches on noah's ark

Remember in history books "Radical Republicans" are the ones who wanted to abolish slavery.

so funny that when trump tries to think of someone "highly respected" his first thought is "bankers." like, buddy, haven't you heard

BARI WEISS: unless we get an official, on-the-record response from the administration the nuremberg trials will simply have to be delayed. have you tried asking goebbels nicely

PHILIP RIVERS UPDATE: rivers has been replaced by riley leonard, a literal child the reason the colts have never started riley leonard is that he doesn't yet have object permanence so before every snap he thinks the ball is gone and starts crying

pulling philip rivers in the 4th quarter so he can watch the local news from bed before falling asleep

(immediately after taking a sip) the far left,

there is one and only one political strategy, and that is: “hang trump like an anchor around the neck of every single elected republican and the party itself.” no ‘friends across the aisle.’ no ‘the fever will break.’ anyone not on board with that has to go. no exceptions

when philip rivers is looking at a tablet on the sideline he's actually watching an episode of matlock

this is the sound it makes when daffy duck runs directly into a telephone pole

I know she's just kind of saying whatever, but it's on-brand for Bari Weiss to review a damning story about the US sending people to a concentration camp and respond "we can't air this, have you even asked Tom Homan if he feels bad about any of it yet?" Perfect readout of who she sees, and doesn't.

(wearing quite a large hat) Future’s made of virtual insanity, now

my wife: "damn, that's a sweet ride"

oh my god philip rivers you magnificent geriatric

it's time to shut down hellman's for crimes against christmas and humanity

he HAS been missed

this made me so happy

replacing the water in the fish tank with egg nog

If you're arrogant enough to call yourself "the free press" and make your identity being a "feisty and fearless non-conformist," you can get away with a lot, but the one thing you can't get away with is killing a story because you think the president won't like it.

UPDATE: I sent the article to my Connection, who thus far refuses to even read it. "I don't know who dave mckenna is" "I'm busy" oh RIGHT. this is how a hamspiracy gets started

ME, A BRAVE CONTRARIAN: the sheeple say you need "oxygen" to live. yet most who ingest this chemical die

"assertively moral" is one way to put it

UPDATE: in point of fact there is not an innocent explanation for this.

look at this absurd office chair i got off of craigslist. i’m obsessed with it. it looks like gordon gekko’s gooning chair. it looks like it’ll call you a bizarre slur after its third harvey wallbanger

when the unsuspecting passengers of a sinking yacht decide to abandon it and take their chances on a derelict ghost ship, that's gotta be like the olympics for those ghosts. you know they're pulling out their best stuff for these poor saps. whereas with a haunted house there's so much foot traffic,

I have a family member who lost their spouse, now a single parent. Everyone grieves differently, but zero doubt Erica Kirk is fucking psychotic. I don’t care if her marriage was a loveless sham or she’s a grifter or whatever. How the fuck do you explain to your kids re-staging their dad’s murder?

13 year old me after faking sick to stay home from school

if this was me at a public event mourning my spouse who was violently murdered my kids would either have me committed or never speak to me again

they're down to their crazification factor base

say what you will about Andrew Tate, but his decision to not have a chin likely saved his life in that fight. Just one of those uppercuts would've killed Bruce Campbell.

These people all go to rich people megachurches so they have no idea how freaky this looks to normal people

THERAPIST: It’s normal to go through the stages of grief ERIKA KIRK: Get on stages for my grief? THERAPIST: No no I sai- ERIKA KIRK: Yeah I’ll take it from here

pee is stored in nicki minaj's cousin's impotent bachelor friend's ginormous covid balls

the largest head in the majors. legendary melon

the way you know I'm a bad person is that when I saw that my fantasy football team is now 89.3% likely to beat my mother's team I literally made a fist and growled YEAHHH to myself

MIKE JOHNSON: if democrats have the house majority, trump will get impeached EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT IN THE COUNTRY: if democrats have the house majority, trump will get impeached

conservatism is made up entirely of grifts

Generations of whining about media bias really paid off for the American right badfaithtimes.com/the-media-bi...

kept thinking of this throughout the jake paul fight

just saw this & let me say that contrarianism is a fucking disease years ago I was an atlantic subscriber; today I would literally rather set that money on fire than give it to them. article after article of late aughts slate trolling ass bullshit in defense of racists & fascists. fuck all of them

upon seeing this late last night I suddenly realized: someone in my family is now dating a very nice exchange student from the south of france who may have Ham Knowledge at the holidays I am going to ask this young man about the ham trucks. I will report any interesting findings to bluesky

well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

Rick Steves is an American treasure. Just all-around, one of the absolute best of us.

“The Supreme Court decided not to have a Christmas party for 12 straight years because the justices couldn’t agree on whether to invite the Court’s Black employees” is about as tidy an encapsulation of the Supreme Court’s whole deal as I can think of

nothing condemns Our Times more than the fact we appear to have *mostly democratically* elevated to power some of the most stupid assholes who have ever lived. something is wrong with a country and system that ferrets out its most undisputedly horrible citizens and then gives them nuclear codes

lol welp

boy dinner

ILLINOIS STATE THE FIRST EVER TO WIN FOUR STRAIGHT ON THE ROAD TO MAKE THE FVS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME