a combination of breakfast and lunch, which I call blunch

let's see if Conservatives are mad they changed the race of Jesus

so like, there are a few lawyers on bluesky, it would seem? I didn't know that. you're telling me this for the first time

The NBC audio messed up and Mevis sounded like Boomhauer for a little bit.

The feds harangued Kat and my family over bullshit charges for a year. They tried to beat her down, bankrupt Kat and her codefendants through legal fees, and a defeat her spirit. They fucking lost. They will continue to lose. Fuck ICE forever. To this criminal gang of a government: stay losing.

HEAD OF TEETH

All that money and resources burned to replicate my drunk great aunt at a wedding reception.

I think the reason I've been a little ambiently mad all day is because January 6th rioters are statistically the most likely group of pedophiles in the world and they clubbed a guy to death and they're going to be rich from the tax money that I give to the country I live in.

I wonder if the people currently running the country ever actually experience joy. not just trump - anyone in his orbit. like does pete hegseth ever wake up happy for no good reason? is he ever overwhelmed with feelings of love for his family & friends? does he get goosebumps from art or music?

the idea that there is some kind of *identifiable reason* why mosquitoes prefer me to my family & friends brings me a certain amount of peace

They're stealing billions of your money to pay off violent right-wing psychos while doing everything in their power to spike gas up to $5 a gallon, make groceries into a luxury and hand the country over to the oligarchs who want to permanently replace you.

the president loves stealing your money and giving it to pedophiles, folks. it’s like his favorite thing to do

Dems are polling crazy high based on the flaming catastrophe that is Republican fascist rule, so primarying as many of the bad weak complicit Democrats in favor of good determined angry ones has rarely if ever been more crucial

adding a slowed-down remix of the herman's hermits version of "I'm henery the eighth, I am" to the trailer is how I let everyone know that my new movie is extremely serious

the thing about this is that it’s still shocking, because they don’t believe it, either. the whole thing is a troll, it’s intended to make the rubes do seal claps and make the rest of us bay like hounds at them, and we’re all paying them for the pleasure.

feeling okay tonight, albeit extremely afraid of twitter. afraid to even think about it tbh

bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast, oj, tea (subbed for coffee). literally my usual breakfast order, I am not a man of complicated tastes

this is such a great encapsulation of what the various factions of the reactionary right want. i might add that they envision themselves as slave masters and the rest of us, in one way or another, as their slaves. betterdonkey.substack.com/p/the-vra-wa...

as a packers fan, I think it's thrilling that rodgers and mccarthy are reuniting for one more season of being not quite good enough. it'll be just like old times

I think basically progressives of our generation, very much including me, got gaslit into buying into the idea of a dictatorship-by-SCOTUS bc they had a good 40 year run of overruling the common people's prejudices, but it was never something we should have depended on

Bluesky: Eleanor puppy play. Horny bsky porn posts Palmer: No, bsky. You can’t have it. Bsky: Good Eleanor good Bsky give beautiful Bsky deserve puppy punishment RESEARCHER: Bsky, we simply can’t create AI Eleanor Roosevelt puppy play. It is an unjustifiable production. Bsky: jealousy pervert

I mean this is also how I addressed my human children when they were young, though I'd add that the good was often yelled (albeit delightedly) and the bad was very quiet and extremely serious

so fucking proud of this kid. (stay til the very end.)

I talked to Joe about my love of the Phillies for this book, and one of the things I said is: “Baseball is a game with an endless supply of fresh starts.” New inning, no outs, you always have time. I really appreciate the proof of my point a few days before this really fun book cones out.

just watched this video of british kids trying texas bbq for the first time and it's like seeing a real-life version of the tweet about a medieval peasant having doritos

Joe: I am a 73 year-old retired mechanic in Forsberg, Nebraska. My 3 biggest problems are Iran's uranium enrichment capability, the casting of Helen in Christopher Nolan's "Odyssey," and the ability of Tennesseeans to check out "Roots" from a library 1000 media outlets: can we please talk at length

"homoeroticism" is just woke professors intentionally misspelling "homEReroticism" to cover up the fact that the head of the simpsons clan fucks

family cookout tonight! pork chops, brats, & hot dogs accompanied by my first-ever try at @darthbluesky.bsky.social's smosh potatoes. report to follow but I have literal 100% confidence that they will be absolutely delicious

larry, moe, curly, shemp, fake shemp, old lady who just needed her carpet cleaned

nico motherfucking hoerner

"Chud the Builder is our Rosa Parks"

Primary all of them.

The reason people keep doing crimes for Trump is that you get rewarded for doing them, congratulations to Colorado's Dem governor for making sure we get more people trying to overturn elections on his behalf bsky.app/profile/kyle...

Today's song by garage rock badasses from Austin, TX. youtu.be/684kmH_Z4P8?...

sounds like alito has a real problem with the legislators in question, maybe he should move to new york and vote against hochul rather than doing judicial activism

Fuck do I care? Don't publish this shit.

thinking about commissioning a sculpture of myself. vast legs of stone, set in a desert. lone and level sands stretching far away would really underscore how I will never die and my works will endure forever

a movement of dumb assholes egging each other on to be even bigger dumber assholes

Remember when Elon Musk allowed Dom Lucre to get away with posting horrific and well-known child sexual abuse material, which an immense number of users saw? Back in July 2023? The same Dom Lucre the NY Times then wrote a wry little profile about, that barely mentioned the CSAM? I’ll never forget.

UPDATE: currently in jail after shooting a cartoon rabbit who tried to make off with my pie - typing this on a samsung juke that I have keistered at all times just in case. the good lord willing I will be released soon and my lawyer will able to get me off, in addition to helping me beat the charges

letting a fresh-cooked pie cool on the windowsill. hopefully no one steals it!

This is the longest story I have ever written. It is also the most meaningful. It will go out in The Small Bow's newsletter tomorrow. You can read it here now: www.thesmallbow.com/p/consider-t...

The U.S. Supreme Court is conducting a coup d'etat. It is at war with the very premise of an electoral democracy. Nothing about that institution or its work is legitimate. Nothing.

look at these ingrates. I dream that someday my children are lucky enough to be addressed by a graduation speaker as eminent as um hang on here uhhhhh I had it a second ago ah! the Vice President of Strategic Alliances for Tavistock Development Company

creating a political ad that's just a supercut of conservatives talking about sperm counts with superimposed text that reads "the only way to avoid hearing from these fucking weirdos ever again is to vote democrat"

sure gas is headed to $8/gallon but at least cornell got rid of their gender studies classes. or at least i think they did, i haven’t checked and if im being honest i wouldnt really know if they had or hadnt because it doesnt affect me but it makes $8/gallon gas all worth it

omg one of my enemies is having an !!! EPIC MELTDOWN LOLLL !!! (*they said "that's not true" when I told them about charlie brown's many hoes)

Historian of abolition here, history tells us how we got here, to put it succinctly “John Brown was hanged for treason and Robert E. Lee was not.”