Question: how do you solve a problem like Maria?

ok it's been long enough. i'm the government now

riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, Congress has not authorized the use of military force

do we think we can trick a news outlet into referring to the american government shutdown/lockout as “locktober”

😎🎵

Either Trump announcing his next round of tariffs or telling us about the last “cognitive” test he took youtu.be/ZlR_4ImlAEg?...

[scrubbing up after a long day painting my deck a nice redwood color] “That’s paint, so’s that one, paint——ahhhhh that one must be blood”

Tough to find childcare

WHEN SHE BEGINS TO BLOCK HONEY I BEGIN TO ROLL Wow the pragmatics of these lyrics seem really different

CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE GIRLS BLOCK YOUR BOYS

"Weird Al" Jazeera

Sad to say I just shared a restroom with someone who, based on the sounds coming out of the stall, was both shitting and barfing at once—how’s your day going

Quote with your reaction to getting left behind during the rapture:

Eh, the rapture for me is just another one of those “making plans I definitely don’t plan to keep” deals. I’d rather stay home with a good book.

Gonna tell my kids this was The Black Parade

Nobody is here rockin’ like a hurricane anymore and that’s sad

It could happen to anyone

One year ago (won’t dwell on it online after this, but 9/15/24 was one helluva day)

Almost exactly one year ago, on 9/14/24 at 7:30am, I went on a run… and woke up the next day in intensive care to the words “you had a heart attack.” Life can change (and almost end) in what seems like the blink of an eye… live it while you’ve got it

I fear the retribution (you know it’s coming)

“Pave paradise and put up a pedo lot” or whatever Joni Mitchell said

I think it’s time for a major class action lawsuit against insurance companies for practicing medicine without a license

werner herzog's dude, where's my car

The Music Twat

Rob Zombie's Sense and Sensibility

Roman Polanski's Home Alone

Frank Capra's Alien

Danny Boyle's Space Jam

George Romero’s Sleeping Beauty

John Hughes’ American History X

Greta Gerwig’s Fight Club

Guillermo del Toro’s Frozen

David Cronenberg’s Pinocchio

My daughter’s music instructor: “[she] brings a lot of good humor to the school—but balances that out with her trademarked (and absolutely scathing) sarcasm.” Parenting pride unlocked, I think?

Trump: the first MLM President

Cocaine Beartooth

Deeper than that. His ownership of Victoria's Secret and A&F positions him as the American counterpart of what Jean Luc Brunel. They're all part of the same sex trafficking ring. Taking women & girls who are hopeful for modeling jobs, making them promises and then trafficking them to the rich

Look at this legend

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement today at 2?

Ruin a movie by making it about Gary On Golden Gary

From my hometown newspaper, made pill-mill, heroin, and now whatever else you got famous, comes this notice. I know the dose makes the poison, but the LD50 for train tracks can't be very large -

[Giuliani's final breath] Tell my family I loved...9/11

Godspeed You! Black Emperor's New Groove

Bring Me The Event Horizon

Uhhhhhh what the fuck. Just another reason to avoid Lewis Center—oh shit, that’s right, I live here 😭

Post-quadruple bypass me has to adjust to some new running realities in the wake of that surgery (I’ll probably never be what I was before), but this was decent—not the farthest I have gone since then, but I think the fastest since surgery?

Lemme tell ya, if I am still on this platform, I am not holding back AT ALL