Ian Miles Cheong about to move to America for real.

Congratulations to Hamnet and its vegan substitute Banana Hammock. #GoldenGlobes

His agent doesn't.

Today is just a day of asshole customers, even by Monday standards.

Brushed my teeth right before leaving for work, accidentally spat on my black work shirt and didn't have time to change, and have been awkwardly covering it until I can get to work and put an apron on to cover it. It's going to be a long day.

And this thread is why straight women shouldn't be allowed in gay bars.

Diminish a Band 4our

Reminder: You do not, under any circumstances, gotta hand it to Keir Starmer and/or Anthony Albanese and/or whoever this week's Canadian Prime Minister is.

If you see this, post an archer

Putting balls in my mouth to own the libs.

Say what you will about bushfire smoke blanketing Victoria again, it's just nice to be able to go to bed without spending all night having a desk fan at full power aimed directly at one's face while one is trying to sleep.

gotta be some use for this at some point

Periodic reminder that the Nobel Peace Prize is not a Hidden Immunity Idol.

Bookshelf reorganised, at least the important gay bits. I swear I will read at least one of these at some point. (Unrelated sidenote upon finding the *other* hockey smut I bought in Brisbane and never read: Australia picked the wrong year to go from three queer bookshops to only one.)

Big dik-dik energy!

I can't join ICE because I'm hot

They should do it on the intended date anyway, just to not have to deal with [waves hands wildly in no specific direction]

You know how sometimes you see something that's so cartoonishly on the nose you wonder if the writers were on crack? Tonight I learned one of the very first episodes of The Apprentice US was titled "Ethics, Shmethics".

Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo

The cool change has come through. The bad news is it was so hot that the cool change is still roughly equal to the hottest temperature ever recorded in Northern Ireland.

The "you're just a hole" top and "I'm just a hole" bottom energy in these two photos is off the charts.

The biggest TV show in the world was about how the US government is competently covering up evidence of aliens. Everybody believed it.

Maybe Rob Cesternino is just not as good at these kind of games as he's claimed he is for most of his adult life. #TraitorsUS #TheTraitorsUS

Railway employee here: The ticketing staff are among the nicest, most competent people at any railway. They're doing their absolute best and a lot of the time they're chronically understaffed, under-resourced, and underpaid. Being nice to them will help you AND them enormously.

Royal Commission into low fat, no fat, full cream, high calcium, high protein, soy, light, skim, Omega-3, high calcium with vitamin D and folate, or extra dollop

Look, I know the Heated Rivalry books are fucking impossible to get at the moment, but I really feel like the bookshop I went to last night that had this sign taped next to a display of entirely heterosexual books has misunderstood why the show works.

Royal Commission into Gladiators (2024)'s stunning lack of rizz

Royal Commission into it's behind the fucking cactus don't you want a Game Boy Colour?

It was the omg of times, it was the Jfc of times

Aldi did not think about the covers of their twee journals.

Work is closed tomorrow for fire danger reasons. Closure was listed on our website yesterday. The only contact staff have been sent is a generic email from a new, fake-sounding email address that nobody new about, which has tripped everyone's junk filters. Just total negligence, I swear to god.

important message to all bluesky users

What idiot called it ignoring lactose intolerance and not cheddar the devil you know?

Every few years Ronan Keating escapes the Faraday cage we built around Ireland in the 90s and the world inevitably goes to shit shortly after. I'm sure these two things are unrelated.

How did we go from "nobody can do an Australian accent with any degree of accuracy" to "everyone thinks they know how to say 'naur' properly" so quickly?

Periodic reminder that the final X-Files episode was a two-hour clip show with multiple dead characters returning without explanation, which culminated with the show blowing up a First Nations pueblo to kill someone who ended up coming back in the revival anyway.

Welcome, new followers! I'm so sorry for everything you're about to experience. For everyone else who knows what they're getting into already: Do you think clowns make silly noises when they cum?

I guess CBS was serious about getting rid of the experts.

Caught up on the #Taskmaster New Year's specials and I think it's fair to say I spent way too much time pondering the current whereabouts of Sam Ryder's dildo, which is not a sentence I thought I'd be saying in 2026.

He is correct though. Plebiscites are the non-binding ones nobody likes.

People say Rome wasn't built in a day, but that's only because the Lego kit of the Colosseum contains over NINE THOUSAND PIECES.

Why does Björn, the largest ABBA, not simply eat the other three?

At the point in the "you have too much leave banked up, fuck OFF for a bit" cycle where I have to start planning a trip. Again. Perth in March/April before seasonal stuff closes for winter? Or fly up to Cairns when it's not oppressively hot and come back down to Melbourne by train/coach?

Today's Mandela Effect: Cher isn't wearing *the outfit* when she straddles the cannon in the film clip for If I Could Turn Back Time.

Baby's first banh mi. It's fine? I don't get the big deal? Needed more... something... and less Half A Carrot Farm under the chicken though.

Post a famous bathroom scene

Kirkland Signature Satan.

Store credit only, sorry.

Customer asked if a meat pie we sell was halal. I am now in minute #25 of my racist coworker ranting about how we shouldn't even have halal products in this country. It's going to be a long year.