Good news: Annual leave got approved. Bad news: The delay in approving it means the fancy train ride I wanted to book is sold out every single trip during my leave, unless I want to spend 24+ hours in a seat that looks like it makes Jetstar look comfortable.

This might be the most obscure niche reference I've ever posted, but IYKYK.

Idiot boss who's a liability at work is openly threatening to refuse people's annual leave requests. Well, this'll be fun when I book a holiday tonight, for a quiet period two months from now, and they try pulling the "but we has no staff! 🥺" bullshit because they haven't bothered training anyone.

IKEA: "We have chocolate mousse at home!" Also IKEA:

Excuse ME, Sweden. They look perfectly gender neutral.

IKEA knows their base, Part 2.

Every sign has a backstory.

Hej drottningar! IKEA knows their base.

HE'S BEHIND YOU, et cetera

Sitting in a TGI Fridays because I'm in the mood for overpriced mediocrity, and the waitress who showed me to my table is "Oprah just said everyone's getting free crap"-level excited to point out the QR code ordering thing. How the metric FUCK do you handle this shit full time, American friends?

I call them "customers".

Did someone send up the twatsignal or is it just coincidence that every single customer I've had to serve this weekend has been a demanding cunt?

The American Gladiators reboot is so bad it's making me reconsider the Ten revival. Jesus fucking Christ what a disaster.

Weird, I was under the impression Iran was all for the straights.

Finish reading the book I'm 3/4 through before I go to sleep tonight, or start a game I've been meaning to get around to for 18 months now?

People who can't spell trying to make slurs for bisexuals:

1958. For context here, that same World's Fair is why the Atomium was built.

@andydehnart.com Silly question: If Masterchef US is visibly filming in LA again (the kitchen is back to its normal layout rather than being mirrored on screen), why are they still using establishing shots of the Australian kitchen they were in last year?

It's been four months since I subjected myself to any film, TV show, or book based around heterosexuals, and honestly I feel more content than I've ever been. Maybe straight people are the problem.

Drop your crime-fighting Catholics

you have conjured one of my favorite tweets

So to recap, some random American tourist is a guest judge on Masterchef Australia now? Weird choice. Maybe she'll eat the ants Charles refused to though.

Everything I have ever learned about Katy Perry has been against my will.

Yeah, but has Mrs Pope had to do a presser saying she never met Jeffrey Epstein?

I don't want to say it's a natural instinct too read too much into fictional characters, but people have been doing it ever since a bunch of peasants at the Globe lost hours arguing over whether Tybalt was a whatever they called furries in the sixteenth century.

Me, every time I eat something peppermint-flavoured: "Oh that's right, peppermint is an affront to the gods and a crime against humanity."

RFK could not be reached for comment.

No Kings, Yes Queen

From new Hungarian Prime Minister Péter Magyar's acceptance speech tonight. This is the absolute BARE MINIMUM platform for any Democrat running for President in 2028.

Look, I know SNL sketches are catered to their hosts, and I know Jack Whitehall is as camp as you can get without actually sticking a cock in your mouth, buuuut there were WAY too many "isn't people of the same sex kissing HILARIOUS?!" jokes in this week's #SNLUK.

You know, all these people working in Australian television trying to work out how to keep their dying industry alive, and not one of them has thought to put Who Dares Wins on streaming for the Tiktok challenge generation to find and marvel over.

MFW you hear a decades-old song in another language that's already kind of a banger... and then you look up if there's an English-language version and it turns out it's a savage roast explicitly saying boring old capitalist assholes deserve to be disqualified from the human race. ♥️

You think you've got problems? Just think of the TARDIS's carbon footprint, and how many solar panels you'd need to try and attach to the thing to make it net zero.

"I didn't vote for this." NO, BUT YOUR COUNTRY DID SO SHUT UP AND WORK ON FIXING IT.

Fuck. That dude on the nude beach stole my outfit.

It's really hard to pick which one of these three jokes I gasped loudest at.

If you see this, I implore you to quote skeet with an unusual image from your posting device without explanation Still definitely use alt text, though

@danietreg.bsky.social This'd get a copyright strike so I'm not going to submit it for They Did What On Television, but the Belgian version of The Mole started a new season last week and you're welcome.

They've gotta get to it before Mars does.

"If you see someone stealing, no you fucking didn't" shouldn't apply to billionaire kleptomaniacs. I don't know why this seems to be a controversial thing to say?

Depluralise a movie. U. (I'm so sorry, people who got this one. Everyone else, I'll give you a moment.)

Depluralise a movie. Dial "M" for Crow

Depluralise a movie. Jumanjo

Sexist men: "Can she even read a map?" Anyone who's ever dealt with a sexist man: "Yes, better than anyone before her."

Okay, everybody, now let's all do a silly one.

Weird, usually his type isn't welcome at the Colosseum.

Somehow, a #DearCustomer who ripped the tag off a shirt to try it on, then tried pulling the "if you can't scan it, it must be free HAHAHA" line at the register and was unimpressed when I told him to politely fuck off with that shit managed to not even be in the top five worst customers today. Ooof.

Looking at all the slutty, smutty little queer novels in my to-read pile, trying to decide what to read next. Narrowed it down to a small handful. Can someone talk me into or out of reading one of these four?

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO ATTORNEY GENERAL?

Nothing will ever be funnier in this regard than the time Amazing Race tried getting the yoof watching by doing an entire season of "internet famous" people, and like 9 out of 11 teams were people you've never heard of before or since, none of whom made for interesting television.