This is what every game developer sounds like right now.

Cities were busier than this during Covid lockdowns.

On annual leave until July. Fuck it felt great to wake up without the stress of my toxic workplace hanging over me.

There are two types of people in the world: people who will have traumatic flashbacks when they read the letters BATBYGOBSTOPL, and people who aren't from Melbourne.

I try not to judge people's appearance, but I can't look at this Graham Platner dickhead and not wonder if he's just Mr Beast with anaphylaxis.

How is this only the THIRD most homoerotic thing that happened on a Taskmaster this week?

Got the absolute delight of being able to "Ma'am, banging on the counter is *not* going to make me serve you faster" a Karen today. The look on her face was enough to get me through the next three days until I'm on holiday for a month. ❤️

You want to see Norway men’s national football team’s official photo for World Cup 2026 www.nytimes.com/athletic/733...

I'm not saying some TV shows exist in 2026 entirely because of inertia, I'm just saying that that Amazing Race lady took a watermelon to the face SIXTEEN YEARS AGO and even back then most people's second reaction was "wait, that show's still on?"

Merge two movies: Spice World War Z

You would think it'd be much easier than it is to find a decent hotel in Sydney with (1) free cancellation and (2) 24 hour check-in. Seems you can get one or the other, but only if you're lucky, and certainly not both.

This week's episode of Guy Mont-Spelling Bee is INSANITY. But also, holy SHIT at the bad timing of having Charlie Fucking Pickering Of All People as a guest on it right now.

Siri, draw me a man who hosts a reality show on Netflix trying to look all fancy because it's the season finale and they won't let him get blackout drunk with the contestants until after it's over.

It's true, this is how we got 20-year-old women looking like suburban Australian rules football players from the 1980s.

I'm not saying it's freezing this morning, it's just I'm wearing two shirts and a hoodie and you can still see my nipples.

It's June 1st. Happy Pride Month to all my lovely queer friends, and happy "fuck you here's Envy Month deal with it" to all the toxic straight people in the world.

Was taking a screenshot and it automatically cropped all the other sosh meeds accounts so idk if anyone else wants this with the sole attribution to Claire and the Pride Flag.

Pop quiz: The Paris Metro opened in 1900. The London Underground opened in 1863. Madrid has had trains even longer. What year do you think Amsterdam's suburban train network opened? I'll save some time: Your first guess is incorrect. And so is your second.

You never heard anyone talk about the Feng Shui of public places any more. Thanks, Obama.

When it happens.

Did you really spend two hours on free trains just to go to a bakery, have lunch, and immediately turn around and come back if you didn't get photos of it?

Do I want to do something today while there's still free public transport (I'm working from tomorrow until it ends on Sunday), or do I just want to curl up in bed with a blanket and a book?

Ye Olde Hag asked me to use my gay talents to identify a particular porn star from limited info, and... look, after trawling through teaser info on multiple websites, how on EARTH do you people survive in a world where the only types of Big Dick Dude™ appear to be "frat twink" and "bald muscle dad"?

Oh sure, when an old man in a creepy manor has shelves loaded with books he's never read and never will read, he's charmingly eccentric, but when *I* do it people think I'm wasting money.

Mood for when someone hits you up on The Apps™ and you would, but you're like 70% sure you went to high school with them and you don't want to directly ask because it'd make things awkward but also their entire online profile appears to have been scrubbed so you can't confirm one way or 'tother.

Sitting at a bus stop and watching a dudebro from the indie gym two doors down drag a non-wheeled sandwich board out, struggle to unfold it, look around awkwardly to make sure nobody saw him (HI I SAW THE THING!), and then stomp back inside like he's going to spank a barbell or whatever: hilarious.

All dogs are bouba and all cats are kiki. I don't make the rules, I just pretend to enforce them.

Ruin a band by replacing a word with a bodily fluid. R.H.E.U.M.

Went to Baker's Delight on the way to the train station to buy lunch for work. Lights on. Shop ready. Couldn't make a purchase because the counter girl hadn't bothered to show up and none of the bakers knew how to log into the register. Well, that's a new one.

Oh you're in Hungary? Seems like a waste of Gary's natural talents, but what do I know?

Sega Dreamcast is here to stay. We need to stop fearmongering about Sega Dreamcast and start finding the ways that Sega Dreamcast can be used ethically and to support our causes. Naysayers need to realize that this technology is inevitable.

@truedorktimes.bsky.social Biiiiig potential spoiler for #Survivor 51 in the trailer - nobody's wearing buffs in the boat looting scenes, which suggests the "back almost to the single-digits" opening twist is the "you're all one tribe for now and we'll divide you up later" thing, last seen in 14.

I'm in a sports bar. AMA.

It's like a whole gaggle of Nicolae Ceaușescu clones. Nicol-AI Ceaușescus, if you will. (I'm so sorry.)

Need to find a job that (1) lets me not deal with people but also (2) gives me enough money to afford to travel like the rich gays always seem to be doing.

@danietreg.bsky.social Heads up: tried submitting another Alison clip and booooooooooo.

Gender's an archaic creation of basic bitches. Can't be bothered.

I got unwillingly subjected to Australia's Eurovision performance at work today, and: look, if we eventually get to a point where Europe is out of other options and we win, we could do a lot worse for an interval act than dueling pianos with her and that lady Romania kept sending for a while there.

Well, yeah, Connery's been dead for a bit. You'd hope so. (The objectively funniest option? Ncuti Gatwa.)

Tried watching Off Season. It could not possibly be more obvious the directive from Amazon was "do Heated Rivalry without the f----ts, and do it quickly". Ooooft. In the words of a goalie without safety gear who's just been hit by a puck, hard pass.

Had to call the bank for something incredibly minor. 45 minutes on hold. What the fuck is a verbal password for and why the fuck would I (1) be expected to remember it and (2) need one when they can confirm details via contact details, account number, PIN, etc?

I know it's not the point, but like looking at all the PMs listed on this chart and realising Major is at *worst* the second best the UK has had since 1979... holy shit, British friends, I'm so sorry.

Slightly increase a band 23 Centimetre Nails

Slightly increase a band Panic! At the Silent Disco

Just hit a new level of Utterly Over Shit: the TV show I'm watching just had someone sing Imagine and it fucking had an emotional impact other than "not this cunting wank again".

Iceland, Ireland, the Netherlands, Slovenia, and Spain have already managed to be the winners of this year's #Eurovision simply by withdrawing from the thing after this gaslighting farce. The entire EBU board has to go at this point.

It's time.

I assure you, anyone who was foolish enough to think Keir Starmer was actually going to give a substantive policy speech instead of whining about how he's Born To Rule like the wannabe Tory he is almost deserves the fucking Reform government they're going to wind up getting.

Sore back at work. Duck into a private room to do a quick yoga-like stretch that's supposed to help the specific muscle that's aching. Mostly just wind up inadvertently crushing my nuts instead.

I miss when cars had colours and personality.