this country’s obsession with presidents born before the invention of the transistor has lead to our current reality of having to spend the last decade watching them decompose on live television while the world spirals into armageddon

My daughter took this picture on the road. Loafy the Bread Sprite will happily remind us what kind of hell it would be to live in a world without bread.

Happy Mother’s Day

“There’s gonna be an adjustment period” thinking he’s still talking about zoning. Editing Emmy NOW.

We can’t afford to take any chances. It’s time to sink the hantavirus ship, and all other cruise ships. No survivors.

tell me again how the water usage is typical actually

Brazil's president Lula showing off his huge cock

Celebrating the WNBA season opener by once again sharing my favorite sports graphic of all time.

A must-read thread 🧵

Extra crazy as the White House Correspondents plan their second circle jerk.

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

Sad to say from a former UFO obsessed teenager: these files have me more convinced than ever that the US government egged on UFO reporting for anti-Russian agitprop, accidentally made their own citizens insane.

Weirdly, the guys who normally complain about “Omnicause” don’t seem mad about this one.

Said it once, say it again: wordle isn’t worth funding this.

personally I think it's a very big deal that the Canada bureau chief for the @nytimes.com — certainly one of the highest-paid journalists in the country — asked an unspecified "AI tool" what Poilievre said & published its AI-hallucinated quotes in her reporting.

This amazing image really captures the Tennessee fight and it's all over the internet. I am reposting it to encourage people to credit photographer Nicole Hester and the Tennessean.

"The Switch is so old," you all said. "I need better graphics," you demanded. "Wah wah," you cried. And now, you sit here before Slippy Toad, the slippiest he's ever been, slippier than a fucking banana peel under a kart wheel, all thanks to the raw power of the Nintendo Switch 2—and you reject him?

spider-klan, spider-klan faked a cry cause he killed a man spins a web full of lies shouldn't say that i hope

This is about making food stamps harder to use, not nutrition. The fewer places that accept it (particularly in food deserts) the more they are “cutting”

Contractions with 3 words: -she'd've -wouldn't've Contractions with more than 3 words: -y'all'll've -they'dn't've

Everyone already dunking on this for reducing the support of genocide to “because Palestine” so let me just add: nothing has changed in the make-up of the court since Biden was in charge. If you believe it was important that they do something about SCOTUS, I’d agree. Democrats didn’t.

but there's a very obvious way to counter this. have someone with a big enough mic rudely say "say, JD, I heard you're a skeptic of this war. Does that mean that Donald Trump made a grave mistake?"

Roberts crying like we didn’t see those leaked memos where he’s explicitly making policy decisions.

A huge thing to the credit of Ted Turner: he was widely criticized for his dumb and stupid classic movie colorization scheme and instead of doubling down and crashing out over the negative publicity, he listened to the criticism and launched Turner Classic Movies.

Can't pass up an opportunity to post Kate Beaton:

Alabama Legislature is meeting on redistricting; we are under a tornado watch, and it’s flooding in the building. These metaphors are too on the nose.

NORMAL PERSON: This cartoon video game animal is simply not fuckable enough

Obviously evil to withdrawal this and put even more people at risk of skin cancer, but uh… how did we allow this to exist as a “proposed rule” for 11 years?

Getting called on after zoning out in a meeting and replying "this used to be a vast prairie"

It’s striking that the Supreme Court decision in Louisiana v. Callais is in some ways worse than even the "pessimistic" predictions of folks writing about race. Yet, not a single reactionary centrist has admitted that the alleged excesses of "wokeness" weren't excessive. They were realistic.

Every guy in a videogame:

I shouldn't laugh, however

It’s so funny that they pitched “prompt engineer” as some Special Boy Job and it’s just wishing on a cursed monkey’s paw

When I saw Katie Dippold in the credits, I IMMEDIATELY was like “no way, that’s royalty!” Brain poisoned, wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Gullwings have arrived at the Met Gala

hello everyone. it’s time for one of those posts. i got laid off in October and my unemployment runs out next week. i have years of experience writing online long form, short form, and scripted video content and am very looking for more of a chance to do that for money again. can send samples

They cut school lunches and THIS is the bipartisan school funding bill they come up with? Fuck you.

AVERAGE WHITE MLB PLAYER: has 18 latino teammates he doesn’t speak to, believes the 2020 election was stolen and is in a group text with morgan wallen AVERAGE WHITE NBA PLAYER: wokest dude you’ve ever met, has gotten into several fistfights over a teammate being called a slur, knows every nas lyric

Saying this now, just in case - - New Yorkers hated Giuliani on 9/10, couldn't wait to get rid of him - Giuliani was in the street on 9/11 bc the Command Center at 7WTC was destroyed (he put it there to be near Judi Nathan) - Giuliani killed 343 firemen by forcing cheap radios on them

SHAFT

something I have been thinking about a lot recently is how in the past decade the class of business leaders and university presidents have developed a completely unhinged rage and disgust towards their own customers and students, respectively

Saint Anthony Preaches to the Fish, Girolamo Tessari, 16th c, 📸 by @lindseywasson

groupchats but its

2026 Kentucky Derby results: 1. 🐎 2. 🐎 3. 🐎 4. 🐎 5. 🐎 6. 🐎 7. 🐎 8. 🐎 9. 🐎 10. 🐎 11. 🐎 12. 🐎 13. 🐎 14. 🐎 15. 🐎 16. 🐎 17. 🐎 18. 🐎