Enter Pozzo and Lucky. POZZO: Well well well, if it isn’t the blow job brothers.

I bet I could wreck a Hobbit open palm slaps only no knuckles allowed. Just one well placed pop across the rosy cheek, thrown from the shoulder, and Pippin goes spinning to the dirt floor. Knock his fucking lights into The Age That Comes After.

that's just the Kennedy training in action

i apologise in advance for reskeeting this ad nauseam in the foreseeable future. i have needed help for awhile now. the white executives @ my FN org have been illegally withholding my pay for 18 months so far. check replies for (paul harvey voice) "the REST, of the story" ko-fi.com/depanneur

i apologise in advance for reskeeting this ad nauseam in the foreseeable future. i have needed help for awhile now. the white executives @ my FN org have been illegally withholding my pay for 18 months so far. check replies for (paul harvey voice) "the REST, of the story" ko-fi.com/depanneur

Anyone ever tupped Goody Smythe after a night of elderberry wine? If so did you also wake up to find you were wearing her late husbands hat? The one with the buckle on it..

Accidentally added goody smythe to the group chat where we’re planning on taking her husband out on a hunting trip and leaving him in the woods to die. She was heart reacting all of our messages though

i am buzzed, ask me anything and receive the TRUTH

Frankenstein had the aesthetics and narrative sensibilities of a Hideo Kojima game, it’s wild.

thinking about how many straight guys have seen girl buttholes but how few of those same girls have seen guy buttholes...

praxis

does there exist a place where i can enter somebody's email address and they get signed up for a lifetime of spam? i am asking for a friend

where is the little strap to wear around my penis for competitive night boners?

Why is Olivia Reingold doing incredibly piss poor attempts at @depanneur.bsky.social halloween costumes

some business, some pleasure: the story of a blessed thrift store book jackpot

you can't imagine how many rooms like this one that I've accidentally fallen asleep in

"Orc Frasier! we have only white wine! Meat is most certainly not back on the menu!"

it's not a story the Jedi would tell you...

learning how to charge for your services is part of learning how to not hate yourself yk

Deadwood Studios presents: Command & Cocksucker

ok, BS won't let me reply to this post and I don't care to find out why, but this is actually my Jeopardy category so allow me:

"Just delete your social media" Yeah ok dude and maybe I'll stop smokin and drinkin 40s and doing sick grinds down the cart corrals at Meijer. Fucking dork.

🎶 Well Im proud to drink from a jerry can With the rich smell of benzene and I'll drink until the Kentucky Fried bucket guy talks to me 🎶

😉

if i went to the theatre and the mf sat in front of me is 6'8" and wearing a stovepipe hat, I'd want to shoot him too

cause im slim shady check it and see i got a bunch of guys who look just like me

All men under the age of forty are inscrutable dumbasses. All over the age of forty are washed-up lunatics

guess who spent the morning getting rooted around in again!! i am very sore and tired 🤕

my friend's very old cat passed away a few months ago and i have been working on this ever since as a surprise. finished and delivered it yesterday, feels good to wrap up a painting after such a long break.

wish we could go back to those innocent times when we were all laughing and taking research chemicals together

curb episode where larry gets dragged to a birthday party for a guy he doesn't know and decides to write something funny in the guestbook. cut to present day, larry's at home watching the evening news: "comedian larry david wrote 'happy birthday, i know your little secret' in jeffrey epstein's book"

saw a labubu irl for the first time tonight at karaoke and snort laughed directly into the microphone :(

watching the mission impossible movies for the first time and i have some notes

Thanks for the nudes do you take constructive criticism

he says what we're all thinking

we really need a guy who sucks to be murdered again, remember how much fun we had

i know all about parenting because a kid on a moped asked me if I wanted to see a burnout and i told him "no thanks, you should drive safely," even though i did want to see.

i know all about parenting because a kid on a moped asked me if I wanted to see a burnout and i told him "no thanks, you should drive safely," even though i did want to see.

shout shout let it all out press on the X if you want to doubt

guess this year's Halloween costume

is this actually how Adderall is dispensed in the US? in a blister pack?? is this so you can remember if you took your dose, or more as an American Style inconvenience for people who take a scheduled drug? here in Canada my pharmacist just throws a generous handful of pills into a pot basically

🎶 pretty puppy, walking down the street pretty puppy, he's made of puppy meat pretty puppy 🎵

last night i dreamed about learning new slang invented by the skibidi toilet generation: • "cru" = extremely aesthetically pleasing • "mbnaaa" = a cry for help. you have to yell this in an Italian accent. it's from a viral video of an Italian man lost in Toronto who keeps seeing MBNA banks

I'm reading more books that got tv adaptations and guess what, The Anjin is a massive Mary Sue. Apropos of nothing, do you think Cosmo Jarvis will go out with me? do you think Hiroyuki Sanada will g

hey @pileofgarbage.net did I ever send u this? just got a faceful of Marc "The Neck" Alaimo in Total Recall and remembered...