“21% of americans trans” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person is not transgender. Genders Georg, who lives in new york & transitions over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

*every ex-evangelical* we fucking told you so

I hate answerphone greetings that start “hi, you’ve reached…” because that’s the one thing I haven’t done. If I’d reached you I would t be hearing your answerphone.

Kraftwerk, and none of us minded

thinking of shedding my corporeal form and its myriad woes. anyone have any first-hand experience of the benefits of going vapor over truly gaseous? not interested in plasma, seems like a hassle tbh

Excuse me but could you call them hetronoculars my kids play in this park

Never became as popular as "ET Phone Home" did it

Swerve me? ye cannot swerve me, else ye swerve yourselves! man has ye there. Swerve me?

Hi guys, did you already know there are competitions for window tinting? With better commentators than most of the tennis matches I’ve watched on ESPN? (Low bar I know) Anyway if you need to procrastinate harder than you’ve ever procrastinated before, I got you

¿Y Tú Mama TAMBIÉN? ¿En esta economía??

@misswhanau.bsky.social I’m still giggling about Tana Umaga 😂

new monkey picture just dropped

Yesterday The Day After Tomorrow 28 Days Later

Toy Story Police Story Marriage Story

Before Sunset From Dusk Till Dawn The Next Day

Big Night The Hangover Ravenous

Don’t Look Up The Birds Hunger

Goodnight Mommy The Big Sleep Breakfast At Tiffany’s

Bye Bye Birdie Hold On! Bring Her Back

followed up a lead after putting up posters in my neighbourhood and I’m devastated to report that my sweet lil cat was hit and killed by a car on Friday night. still in shock.

They Might Be A Giant

my cat hasn’t been home in 24 hours. usually he’s yelling at me about food multiple times a day. I’m worried sick, as you can imagine.

hey

the film The Accountant (2016) portrays quite a warped stereotypical view of the autistic experience in general, but particularly the need to subject oneself to extreme stimuli such as loud music, strobing light, physical pain, and being friends with Anna Kendrick

From ‘The Onion’ Editorial Board:

republicans are finding themselves in a fascinating paradox where they don’t know whether to praise hitler for his brave views and strong moral stance, or condemn hitler because he shot hitler

If you do the maths, there are way more words in the second amendment about the need for gun control than there are about guns.

Pōneke, don't drive/bus/walk/cycle up Victoria St near Webb St. There has been a shooting and police have been on site for over an hour. All buses that travel up there have been cancelled. Not exactly sure how I'm going to get home, traffic is diabolical.

The News

I haven’t had an alarm as part o( my morning routine in years, but every morning this week I’ve been woken by a tūī outside and it’s REAL NICE

but also: I see he couldn’t get the real tom hardy “on board”. (the cast list is BIZARRE and is going to unlock some truly cursed kevin baconing)

me: “oh hey Chris Nolan is doing the odyssey” also me, looking for the angle: “who’s in it?” first me, stifling a full chortle: “nobody”

Immediately adding this into my lexicon.

I hope this email finds you living in a shotgun shack I hope this email finds you in another part of the world I hope this email finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile I hope this email finds you in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife

when your mum wants a photo before your dad drops you off at the sixth form formal

many actors can do both comedy and drama, be funny or menacing. few can do both in the same role. Toby Huss is right up there.

I feel like an edit button for micro-blogging could work if it checked the edit distance between the original and the amended version, like if you just wanted to fix a single typo that’s fine but a complete alteration would be rejected.

got ambushed by snake cultists at d&d last night (boo hiss)

Re-watching the Matrix movies after finally watching Sense8 and it’s delightful seeing how many of the Sense8 cast turn up in Resurrections, to the point where I assume Priyanla Chopra’s part was written for Tina Desai.

Ōtautahi, Aotearoa

“used for mating”

*sigh* No, that’s just the effect of several centuries of rain through an iron grate. Nobody was wasting precious oil during a siege. they were throwing piss

thank you for your feedback 30 internet strangers i hadn't considered the less funny version of my joke

“It’s a nice day for a wet willy” — bully idol

this burger shop may not be able to get my name or my order or even their own menu right, but they’re playing Fiona Apple while I wait and that’s more than most

(Jonathan Frakes voice) Do you have any games on your phone?

https://gacha.o0o0.jp/gp/archives/35982 『鯉人～釣道～』4月発売予定。鯉人、釣りの道を、究めんとす "Carp Man - Fishing Way" is scheduled to be released in April. Carp Man, the master of fishing. #ガチャポン #gachapon