please

Devastating reporting. Like RFK Jr., Kristi Noem, and Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth is reshaping his department to indiscriminately kill tons and tons of children. A major throughline of the Trump administration.

being earnest, what libs miss is we have "held our nose" and "voted for the lesser evil" our whole lives and look where it got us we're done running full speed down that dead end- run a good candidate, or piss off "there are only two choices" wrong, there is always a third so get it together

Newsom *will* get a lot of trans kids killed if he gets into office. In Cali, where the legislature can pass him pro-LGBT bills to sign, he's got a great track record. Mostly. But every single time he goes onto the national stage it's "be more culturally normal"

The year is twenty twenty six and weed is legal why are you still smoking skunk upgrade your life!

I found a single seed in my weed yesterday and I was like "what is this, the 90s?!?!

man, “When do you turn 16?” is a fucking insane question to ask. you are 30 years old.

I live in the state of California, he's my governor, I voted for him in 2018, and he's the worst piece of trash imaginable. He hates the trans community, he's criminalized being homeless in a state where hardworking people are one missed paycheck from the street. He had Bannon on his podcast

Coming out soon

Whatever Loomer is saying, I'm not repeating

This is in response to me pointing out Zohran Mamdani was an unknown NY State Assemblyman in 2024 and how silly it is to blame him for Kamala Harris tanking the election.

You can read about my winning lawsuit with @rcfp.org against DC MPD, and the resulting footage from the DOGE raid on USIP here:

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

You heard him, Kamala Harris lost the 2024 election because then-NY State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani “fucked around with ‘uncommitted’.”

Warfighters NEED fruit basket stands! 🇺🇸 newrepublic.com/post/207555/...

When a warfighter can’t find a fruit basket stand

I love it when Australians try to be serious. “Jeeyouvenoyle uffendaz”

“Tragedy is when I trip and stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” -Mel Brooks

Not sure what it says about me that improv skills and an ability to riff are huge turn-ons

Donkey < Dunkee

Is there still a market for big, doughy oafs with powerful sidekick/retriever energy, or was I born 50 years too late for that?

Look, just because you cried “more more more,” that doesn’t automatically make it a Rebel Yell. Especially if it wasn’t at the midnight hour.

I like how Aragorn has different names for himself in different places in Middle Earth because he bounces checks or something

KOSA: government censorship and age verification crap Screen Act: age verification crap and government surveillance KIDS ACT: government surveillance Interstate Obscenity Definition Act: this bullshit bill will ban all porn even if the people in it are over 18

Yesterday I filmed several baby birds walking across a street directly at my camera and asked Bluesky to suggest music Several dozen folks did Some even dubbed music over the original clip. I haven't been able to get this out of my head. So I give you A Bluesky exclusive: Reservoir Ducks 🐣 🪶

Thinking about the 60 emoji again

Imagine George HW Bush asking Barbara to fart on his meat

a lot of news happening the first day of NFL free agency

I can affect a semi-passable Maritimer accent, does anyone want to buy me a bunch of Leafs and Habs merch so I can hide out in Canada until the USA dies?

I like that Trump will say some garbled sentence like, “The war against the very bad, no class Agrabah is now over until soon and with tears in her eyes, Bianca Jagger thanked me in Studio 54” and serious people act as if he had some sort of coherent thought that he’ll remember tomorrow

This account seems like a real dumb piece of shit

The most unrealistic thing about Steel Magnolias is the wedding scene, there are way too many white people with rhythm.

Remember that time just under a year ago when Elon Musk's goons tried to steal a building? Marisa has been all over this for the entire time and took a ton of effort to force this footage into the public light. The least you can do is go scroll through her thread!

Oh hey, Dylan McDermot Mulroney is in Steel Magnolias. Never noticed that.

I’m in my 40s and still getting Kris Kristofferson and Tom Skerritt confused.

maybe I'm focusing on the wrong thing here but this is the wildest shit I've ever heard a white South African say and I study racism for a living

A lot of my favorite obscure shows are sketch comedy. Snuff Box, The Birthday Boys, The Vacant Lot, Exit 57, and The Naked Trucker & T-Bones Show all spring to mind.

UNEARTHED: Texas Democrat admits to feeling LOVE, an emotion that is WOKE and GAY

What the fuck is a Lido Shuffle? Explain yourself, Boz Scaggs.

One of the few things keeping me sane right now has been watching Danhausen win over WWE audiences just by being Danhausen. He’s like the Twin Peaks of wrestlers, aggressively weird and kinda silly but also impossibly endearing.

Everything bad that happens to Leo Johnson is the funniest shit ever

“Hello, I’m Marco Rubio.”

zionists should probably sit this one out.

I truly love unhinged social graphics

There was a period of time in this country where the funniest thing it was even possible to conceive of was an old lady rapping. There was a brief resurgence in this when Betty White saying something scandalous was a thing, but it was largely eliminated by 9/11 and the subsequent decades of war.

But what of the new salted caramel empanadas at Taco Bell

I have a serious craving for Taco Bell but Firehouse has a BOGO deal on all their meatball subs today, what to do

If you're scared of protesting or a general strike because you could lose your job, healthcare, and housing, or even go to jail, now you understand why the US has no universal healthcare or housing and no guaranteed parental leave, but DOES have the largest prison and police system on planet Earth.