The right-wing No Kings response memes have shrinking corncob "I'm not owned!" energy.

It's Warlock Fall.

Well I was a little annoyed to learn that USMNT was a sports thing and not United States Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I ain't no follow back girl.

We are NOT letting them ruin October.

give greta thunberg a gundam

I accidentally killed Delaan Winterhound in tonight's D&D session and I feel disgusting.

I know exactly who needs to hear this, but we are aware of The Horrors

i don't give a flying fuck if Bluesky is an "echo chamber." i'm on here to shitpost and be self-absorbed and weird, not to earn a Boy Scout badge for "most meritorious use of social media" or whatever the hell these goofballs are on about.

I'll be brooding in my quarters.

sorry, i only date alchemists

Use violence if you have to! This is obviously about Dungeons & Dragons, and situations where you have to kill monsters in order to improve the world for everyone. It is not about anything else.

Like unless you're going to give AOC a broadsword and a squad of Waffle House cooks, stop fucking around

Cops googling what armor rating stops grapeshot.

You better run. 😤

hey so me and the other monsters were thinkin maybe you go to a different level. you already killed a lot of us. we’re grievin pretty bad.

The national vibes are fucked but the D&D is fly. So there's that.

If I was in Lord of the Rings I think I’d just live among the hobbits to a be a tall cool guy who gets things off shelves for them. That has to feel good. I’d be like “no problem Pricilla Pemblefoot, I love you little demons”

2000: YAY THE INTERNET THIS WILL MAKE IT SO MUCH EASIER FOR EVERYONE TO LEARN!! 2024: all the stupid ppl found each other and they're more powerful than ever!!! 2048: rock stick fire good

Well this aged like fucking milk.

consulting my nine viziers before deciding upon chicken nuggets for dinner again

gnome balm near me affordable gnome balm near me

Several years ago, a dear friend died suddenly and was found sitting peacefully, still holding a glass of water, and Netflix's "Are you still there?" was on the tv. I still think about that sometimes.

good morning people and kobolds and creatures who live in my phone

I saw a stick this morning that for a split second made me believe I could be a wizard

You equip the gauntlet. It moans with pleasure as your hand slides in. You cannot unequip the Groaning Gauntlet -2. This item is cursed!

It's nice to be able to enjoy Rings of Power without a bunch of ugly nothing dudes ululating in the comments.

people hate that I know things but no one hates it as much as I do

"Haha I misread that as - " I have already retreated to my mind palace. Animate brooms sweep gold dust from my path. The fairy maids flit around my ears, whispering the latest garden intrigues. Perhaps today I will dine on pomegranates that taste like a fond memory dredged up after years in slumber

They're glad to watch the food system collapse as long as they can stand on someone's neck while it happens.

i think i'd probably go on a date with a dragon

"I hate being tony pizza. 😞"

bro be thou a spirit of health or a goblin damn'd

In this week's issue of Strange Roots, I lay out some budget friendly indoor herb and veggie setups and a massive mutual aid grow tent project! mailchi.mp/5f2c28d8d11a...

The Cheetos marketing people have SEO that is ruined forever. Their product has a horrible association, and they can't even acknowledge it. That's tough.

THE HOBBIT (1977): DOPESMOKER EDITION A fan edit by me that pairs the beloved Rankin/Bass animated Hobbit movie with the legendary sounds of Sleep's collosal single track album DOPESMOKER. Get it here: drive.google.com/file/d/16tci...

What’s the move tonight? Will there be girls there? What kind of girls? They ethereal? They skin glowing in the light of the waxing gibbous moon? I’m tryna further my bloodline with one of these nymphs tonight, bro, I need to know about they pallor & humors.

my husband has once again become ensorcelled so now i have to drive down to the wizard tower at 12:45am to pick him up. yes i have to work in the morning

👨🏼‍💼 Have you ever done a "#2" in the pool? 🙎‍♂️ Senator, not that I recollect. 👨🏼‍💼 You didn't bellyflop onto the diving board and the impact made you shoot a 6-inch "#2" across to the shallow end? 🙎‍♂️ Senator, I do not recall. 👨🏼‍💼 And you shouted get out get out there's a drowned toad in the water? 🙎‍♂️ Senator,

Do you like roleplaying games? I do. So let's talk about how you can make scent part of that experience. Jinx from @heroscent.bsky.social and @strangefirefumery.bsky.social offered up a joyous chat that's full of geekery. www.paperbackperfumes.com/episodes/lil... #dnd #books #fragrance #podcast

Ever wonder what your D&D character might smell like? Take our short quiz and find out! heroscent.com/tools/perfec...

that one neighbor who put a chicken coop in their back yard in 2017 and was always trying to foist eggs on everyone probably feels like littlefinger right now

We have to tax billionaires because left to their own devices, this is how they spend money.

Forget to make a reservation? Try an al fresco lover’s picnic! Lie back and take in the twinkling glory of heaven! Catch the steely eye of the Lord! Let yourself feel human and shabby beneath His gaze! Rend your flesh to ribbons before the Almighty! Save room for dessert! 🤤