[rewatching Band of Brothers] yeah I’d have died right away

I never, ever want google to show me searches I did in the past. The person who searched for those things is dead.

Old Man's Son Also Old Man

*Martin Sheen in THE DEPARTED voice* Microprocessors

tired: i’m going to become the joker wired: i’m going to run insane show trials like the scarecrow in the dark knight rises

0/3

(stoically chopping wood at a remote cabin) Subway franchise manager: strange place to find the world's best sandwich artist me: ..that's the past. I left that life behind

Woman Giving Birth Assured Everything Looks Gross Down There theonion.com/woman-g...

/host introducing the musical guest for their second song on SNL voice

When you throw a dead fly in the trash you’re laying it to rest amongst a great fortune like a pharaoh

With Dave and Busters, it’s pretty clear which one handled the finances and which one handled the video games.

Ronald McDonald is such a good clown name. You wouldn't have thought of it. You would have given him something obvious like Bloopers McBurger, the name of a clown. They gave him the name of a man.

All the Epstein emails are like On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:16 AM, Larry Summers wrote: Have you seen the latest news? Get the popcorn ready… On Tue, November 21, 2017 at 8:18 AM, jeffrey E. <[email protected]> wrote: Pop cofn taste good .

Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.

When I encounter myself as a different colored cursor because I have the Google Doc open in two tabs

Happy birthday to @decodeli.bsky.social. A good man

Just sold Robert F. Kennedy Jr. an ounce of the gamy-smelling green pellets I feed my turtle for $1200. "Can you throw in some of the juice?" he asked. It took me a minute to realize that he meant some of the water from the tank. I filled a shot glass with it and he tipped me $100 in cash.

Marines Raise American Flag Outside Cell Phone Store After Defeating Skateboarding Teenagers theonion.com/marines...

❓ Bobby Portis as the contrarian Captain? ❓ Cason Wallace puts up 25+ fantasy points? Read Tuesday's NBA Expert Survey with RG_Notorious, headchopper, stevietpfl & @greentailshiner.bsky.social: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

“Giannis Antetokounmpo (1.7 FP/minute) hasn’t posted a ceiling game in a while, but the usage is still sky high even with Khris Middleton back.” @greentailshiner.bsky.social's NBA Core Plays Live for Saturday: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

❓ Anthony Davis a lock in cash? ❓ Jarrett Allen racks up 50+ fantasy points? Read Friday's NBA Expert Survey with RG_Notorious, @dfs-almanac.bsky.social, TJ_Zwarych5 & @greentailshiner.bsky.social: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

❓ Play Shai Gilgeous-Alexander in cash? ❓ PJ Washington records a 20-point double-double? Read Tuesday's NBA Expert Survey with RG_Notorious, headchopper, stevietpfl, & @greentailshiner.bsky.social: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

❓ Anthony Davis a lock in cash? ❓ Play Jonathan Kuminga for salary relief? Read Sunday's NBA Expert Survey with @greentailshiner.bsky.social, krayton12, & TJ_Zwarych5: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

“Rumors of the demise of LeBron James appear to have been greatly exaggerated, while Anthony Davis finally flashed a ceiling after a few lean games before the last one.” @greentailshiner.bsky.social's NBA Core Plays Live for Sunday: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

“This is a fantastic spot for both of Anthony Davis and LeBron James, though I prefer AD even at his more elevated salaries overall.” @greentailshiner.bsky.social' NBA Core Plays Live for Sunday: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

[nick sirianni runs a complicated trick play that backfires] you fool, you absolute buffoon [dan campbell runs a complicated trick play that backfires] you beautiful madman

❓ Zach LaVine a lock in cash games? ❓ Alexandre Sarr scores 50+ fantasy points? Read Tuesday's NBA Expert Survey with RG_Notorious, headchopper, stevietpfl & @greentailshiner.bsky.social: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...

“Tyler Herro (28% usage, 1.21 FP/minute) has been Miami’s best player this season, while Bam Adebayo (1.09) and Butler (1.13) are providing their typical steady production.” @greentailshiner.bsky.social's NBA Core Plays Live for Sunday: rotogrinders.com/articles/nba...