How I be sneaking out o da kitchen with me snackies………….

How it started….how it ended…….

Trying to catch up on Scrubs and this guy is snoring soooooo loud…….

Make quac for one Cinco De Mayo party and next thing you know it’s a requirement for you to bring it every year……….

Kurt Loder turns 81 today. We are old as fuck.

Don’t question my quesadilla game…

Fresh clean sheets……….

New book! Thanks for the rec @mcemery ! Arm is killing me since physical therapy Friday so going to try a bath. Moo moo is totally gonna lick the water…what a perv….

My ability to remember the exact lyrics to songs I haven’t heard since 2009, but forget why I walked into the kitchen.

This is great but also so f*cked! I really hope that someone figures out this housing crisis and we won’t need to do things like this anymore.

Got this weird popcorn at the Wall-mart…didn’t see the religious message on here till I got home…when I put my groceries in the car….group of church goers asked me to come to church on Sunday…I mean wtf…I don’t walk around askin people to believe in science and tell them to listen to their selves…

I suppose I should stop being so wicked all the time I’d really like to get some of that stuff they call rest

I think I’ve experienced enough lifetime trauma to justify becoming a serial killer and I’m honestly a little annoyed I turned out to be a people pleaser instead.

Moo moo in his natural habitat…watching birds on the fence….*no birds were harmed*

When The Used said, “I’m tired and I’ve felt it for a while now” I felt that shit in my soul

Why? Why does he do shit like this? Sure get hair all over my new record sleeves…super helpful…but you do look cute………….

Your daily affirmation: Never give up, and always keep searching. It's the only way you'll ever find a secret entrance back to the realm of faerie where you truly belong.

Moo Moo is only aloud outside while supervised…he’s pretty good about it, which means he listens half the time to me when I tell him it’s time to come in….

Another photo from the kid…

watching the Jersey Mike’s worker make my sandwich

Started this book a few days ago…it’s really good…I love the writing style and the way the story is flowing is really good! Cant wait to see where this story goes!

My Metro bus driver waits a beat before leaving the lot cause I’m always fast n furious pullin in the lot…he said it’s cause we’re the same people…can’t argue there…

I wish my kids school was more educated in children with ADHD. Almost every day my kid comes home and says a teacher had punished him for just exhibiting ADHD behavior. Multiple times a week they take his recess away because of low scores in math or cutting recess short because he’s being silly…🤬

EVIL DEAD BURN. "The franchise’s most savage and terrifying ride to date." Only in theaters July 10. Watch the teaser trailer now: bloody-disgusting.com/movie/394733...

Our days can be tiring, so save some energy for the important stuff, like reading books, brewing tea, and shapeshifting into a were-bear to protect the old forest.

I’ve been waiting on a black hole sun since ‘94

Dad planted some seeds moons in my back yard and they are coming along.🥰

Another kid photo…he knows my favorite color is purple and we have these little purple flowers all over our yard.❤️

Isn’t he the cutest!? Suge jumped on the couch and farted so he jumped off the couch and put himself in bean bag time out with socks the monkey……….

Sorry for my unpredictability, I was raised by a pack of mixtapes

Nerdy goth in a very religious hood during baseball practice…………

Hear me out…if your work computer is taking more than a min to do a simple task…has that frozen I’m gonna be loading forever…then sick leave should be added to your time…I should be able to go to my boss and take computer lag sick leave…leave a few hour early or f*ck it half a day! Who’s with me?

All of the stupid fucking people really interfere with my practice of non-judgemental compassion.

threw my back out pumping up the jam

The kid brought this out tonight before bed…I have this book memorized! They grow up so fast!!!!! 😭

I’ve been freaking out a little lately because I keep forgetting things…while reading Jenny Lawson new book, How To Be Okay When Nothing is Okay and she had a chapter called…Rose, Rose, Thorn and Bud, as I read the first paragraph it hit me! The kid and I would do this every night before bed! ⬇️

This

Where do I throw in the towel and do I need to fold it first.

If you don’t like my peaches, don’t shake my tree. - Shirley Jackson

You don’t have to be perfect to be brilliant. You just have to be perfectly you. - Jenny Lawson

I…ate….so…much….taco….salad……11 out of 10 don’t regret!

I met her once at the airport and she had this huge fluffy ragdoll (I think) cat with her! I was like I love your movies and your cat! She giggled and said thanks!

I misread the headline as one movie and got very excited for a moment…

Haven’t made egg roll bowl in a while and it was soooo yummy!

Some of y’all never got a approving nod from the record store clerk and it shows.

let’s go on a date, I’ll meet you by the sewer and I’ll be the one with the red balloon