I beg you, Brown Jesus, please have Rage Against The Machine & Bruce Springsteen be guest performers for the Halftime show.

Kid Rock makes music for white males who grew up in the suburbs, but like to pretend they grew up in the hood AND the trailer park.

I’m so white and suburban, my local bodega is Target.

So excited for the “Ladies Cover Your Drink” Tour.

Trans rights: fughedaboudit. Ugh. Worst party ever. At least the GOP knows what it needs…

Bitcoin dropped faster than Lindsey Graham at a Bucc-ee’s glory hole.

Bitcoin right now…

Not for nothing...every single person in this lineup, aside from Suburban Rock, has two first names. To be fair, it's tradition for when you're not sure who the daddy is.

Anytime you see this man on TV, you should automatically know that the markets are in the shitter.

Hard to believe that Philip Seymour Hoffman passed away twelve years ago today. Such a huge loss.

Phil will see his shadow tomorrow, meaning at least another six weeks of Nazi Germany in the US.

Remember when times were simpler?

Private schools are just alternative schools for rich kids.

Gonna tell my kids this is Justine Gandy from Weapons.

Just sent this to all my family members who I forgot to send money to for their birthdays and holidays, over the past few years. “See, I told you a sent you a card with money, but some USPS employee stole it!”

I disagree with the masses when it comes to the success of the Melania film. Do you realize how many people have already paid top dollar to see her opening? Trump has seen it at least once. Her opening is huge. I mean her film opening will be huge.

Pure Michigan…

It’s Pat!

Rubbing alcohol is not as effective as drinking it.

I hope we get to see Spring before the Orange Twat destroys the world.

I can’t schedule a Kroger delivery until Monday…

C’mon over. I got power and paper products