Me asking Alexa+ *how* fully functional she is

Thissss

Me: Okay I am going to put your dirty clothes in the laundry, are you sure you got everything out of the pockets? The 13yo: Yes dad [eye roll] I got everything out of the pockets The pockets:

The Wordle Bot is so full of shit.

I am so obsessed with Benoit Blanc as America's answer to Sherlock Holmes like they said possibly gay RP autist and we said definitely gay southern autist

Pretty cool how America's royal family the Kennedys is mostly famous for dying, causing the untimely deaths of others, and being self-destructively horny.

Angrily messaging the AO3 mods who continue to unpublish my Wet Bandits erotica.

The highest forms of understanding we can achieve are laughter and human compassion.

The gate says "abandon all hope, ye who enter here" but they don't check your pockets or anything

Not sure what specific events inspired this relatable content from one of the 9-year-olds.

One thing I've learned from substituting is that kids are absolute masters at losing shit. Pencils, Chromebooks, the paper you passed out literally three minutes ago, anything. You ask about it and get the blankest stare, as if the child has never even heard of a "worksheet" before this moment.

My message seems out of step with the times, but the evidence keeps presenting itself: people who understand the climate and ecological crisis have over many years thoughtfully developed a vision for a feasible sort of abundance, while the powers of climate denial offer a road to austerity.

Mary when he actually starts playing a fucking drum for the baby she just got to sleep

Using a pseudonym so that nobody recognizes the accordion-playing ex-model.

If I ever do pornos in Hyrule, it's gonna be under the name Rusty Halberd.

Olivia Nuzzi and Elizabeth Holmes do some kind of start-up together. Is this anything???

This will always and forever be the most on point and prescient thing that Fukuyama ever wrote.

One must imagine Sisyphus in his underwear. —someone who has to give a speech to Sisyphus

remember, folks,

If you're not promoting solutions like this, miss me with your "male loneliness epidemic" frothing.

Airbnb encouraging us to "Let Yo Hair Doreen"

As self-employed people, we've been getting our insurance from the marketplace for years now, and it sucks so much ass. Plans are discontinued every year or two, meaning we have to choose a new one, and it's always a crapshoot as to whether the meds we're already on will still be covered.

lol last night was a rerun

When you are napping in a very normal way.

🎯

I'd actually argue that Summers' has such extreme biases when it comes to race and gender, that his expertise is suss.

What's your favorite song about the rain? We know, we know, Melissa Manchester, but dance with the one that brung ya.

What's your favorite song about the rain? youtu.be/ARp-UOalWTQ?...

i used to think the lyric was ‘i wanna rock and roll all night / and part of every day’ and i remember thinking, honestly that sounds reasonable

My first piece of porcelain, and the vase it’s modeled after. This will be a gift to my grandmother, who gave us the pewter vase for our wedding

Within the margin of error of The Crazification Factor.

100% And the Epstein scandal at its heart is about elite impunity and rich people literally screwing ordinary Americans with no consequences. There is a direct through line between this and oligarchs and elites stripping gov't for parts, making life unaffordable, cutting health care, etc.

Brian Eno “Another Green World” (Island Records, 1975), 2017 2x12” 45rpm reissue Mastered at Abbey Road Studios Series reissue @brianeno #NowPlaying #vinylcommunity

Also, a woman who describes herself as an Ann Coulter fangirl will never worth knowing. Ever.

This is me at 15. I’m a child. I’m a CHILD.

Julian Casablancas’ mom: Julian Casablancas, you better not be up there looking like a sexual muppet. You better not be practicing your golden voice and sexual muppet style.

Sick to my stomach that the President being mixed up with a horrifying global network of pedophiles is considered a 'voter issue' and not something the whole world needs to know about and people need to be prosecuted for. Only reason anyone would want people to ignore Epstein is if you're involved

Yeah, this is what I wonder: how much of it was just that, if you were a very rich man, Epstein was a walking talking permission structure who also made you feel smart and erudite and always seemed to show up with a bunch of girls

You could write a very funny erotic novel about Bill and Hillary and Donald and Melania unexpectedly encountering each other at an exclusive swingers' retreat and, to their shock, finding the kind of intimacy all four had always yearned for, before the real world tore it apart. But you better not.

man.

Yet again we’re being warned that if we ask billionaires to pay their fair share of tax they might leave. So it’s definitely worth trying.

If you need me, tap me on the shoulder. I’ll be happily working all day listening to this on a loop.

I keep thinking the publisher must have been legitimately thrilled to find out they were getting Nuzzi's insane memoir rather than whatever she and Lizza would have written about the 2020 election.

Exactly! If Democrats need to focus on affordability, just ... focus on affordability. Don't constantly give lectures about how other people with the exact same job as you need to do it differently.

This is exactly what's been running through my mind for months, and as the poster gets into in the replies, it sure seems like most well-meaning white Americans can't even imagine it.

I kinda don't like sharing this, but it's necessary, because people are still saying things like, "If they go after visas? Tourist visas and student visas and work visas? Then they will destroy the US economy! They don't know that! Mistake!" Dear reader, they do know that. Their plan requires it.

Why doesn't the small, revenue-less social media platform where all the liberals and leftists congregate want to pick a fight with the wealthiest government on the planet, which is currently run by fascists?

even if you took this at face value, it would cost so much more money than it would save yes, even “in the long run” yes, even that one person who really was running a scam that one time