Is it sigma vibes for me to shoot my dick off

that video is fake, that's an AI making me trip and fall and my dick falls out of my pants and goes into my own ass

Before tv how did people behave like was there a standard

no!!!!!!!!!!

they have cars that run on your own shit but they haven't figured out how to get the shit out of your butt and sell it back to you first

oscar the grouch, the curious green creature who makes a trash can his home and positively revels in his life among the filth, has made of me a cuckold

RFK Jr scampering around like a gremlin eating popcorn off the floor: “Olivia my darling, I’ve another riddle”

honk tuah. beep on that thing

Being a man is all about throwing your back out. You gotta be hurting your back

I don’t need AI to talk to my dead relatives I shout at their graves like a normal person

Alright I like Glen Powell

I’m a thoughthacker, sort of an ideamancer

No way microwaves are real. You telling me this thing hs something in it called a “magnetron”

Global conspiracy no this is called the grindset

Whole bunch of stuff beginning to make a lot of sense.

I’m out here at the Piss Summit, crossing streams so to speak

What about Jacob Elordi as Bruce Wayne I think it could work

Apologizing to the dentist like it’s his teeth I’m letting decay

I mean the olympics arent even gonna happen

Tech companies need to get back to making gadgets and doo-dads

When Spider-Man cries his tears come out all sticky and when he wipes them it gets on his hands and he is struck with wonder for a moment at the miracle of his biology and forgets why he was crying. It was in the movies

Getting laid off would be cooler if it was what we called getting laid and jerked off at the same time. “Hey I’m getting laid off” hey man enjoy it

This man yearns to create but will disassociate if he tries. Can’t even begin the process. Looking at his own work must be like looking down and seeing a wound.

I will venmo any reporter $400 to ask trump "what does SNAP stand for"

Mama I made it www.gamespot.com/articles/rel...

Baby Steps is out today! Here's the side project I've been working on alongside all the other launch shenanigans: A meditative nature stream where Nate violently falls into frame every 15 minutes. Designed for your second monitor or TV screensaver.

Ultimately, baseball is about hittin dingers

Dude I am actually all about It Welcome to Derry it is really hitting a target between amblin optimism and primal terror

Clown in a Cornfield is a nice surprise

I would not thrive in an environment with a murderous clown

What’s great about Victor Frankenstein was that he accidentally studied occult science instead of regular science and it went downhill from there. Like he coulda been normal

If I’m not driving results and making an impact I will kill myself

This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball

If you intentionally walk a guy you should have to pay their salary for that game

Kelly Thompson’s Absolute Wonder Woman is really good

Please stop bullying my son Kolbjörn

there actually is though

Can’t a man have a mark of hatred sewn into his very skin, is that not woke

The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater

Mmm. So I’m an unc

So like, did congress give up

The kitchen is the restaurant of the home

San Diego is technically a city, it meets the criteria, but it’s actually one big suburban outdoor mall where everything is some kind of thematic variation on a Cheesecake Factory

Ombudsman man yeah we sure om

Ugh my parents made me invite Ross Douthat over and he keeps trying to use big words in front of my dad

Feels like most of our democrats in politics and media have legitimately never met a straight up bad man before. “We urge the president to hold a bipartisan-“ no. He doesn’t understand what the government is or does, doesn’t want to, and if it doesn’t hit his dopamine button he thinks it’s stupid

I’ve seen enough. I would let John Cena kill me