Just saw the lineup for the maga counter programing to the halftime show. the headliner? good bunny

I have big ideas for the If I Had Legs I'd Kick You-verse

one of my internet guys making the blueprint for talking to a Landman dad

how the hell did pork get top billing in pork n beans

watched porco rosso last night finding out the ICE $50k signing bonus isn't paid upfront and only comes if you work for 5 years somehow satisfies both parts of the quote "making money from war makes you scum, not making money from bounty hunting makes you an idiot"

this show will be a big deal for people that love comedy

Just let me know when I can go back to home depot, my place is falling apart

Weekend at Davos

REPORTER: coach cignetti, how do you feel about your team these last two unprecedented seasons? COACH: pride moves inside me like maggots in the corpse of christ

Fernando Mendoza after winning the national championship: "I'm going to the Bone Temple!"

I've just entered a raffle i could use your good vibes

I might see bone temple every day its in theaters

at some point, when no one has a job, well be able to say whatever we want

not the worst part about living in a fascist police state but still pretty shitty i can't listen to "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle constantly like I used to

this show is good

Pitch for a third Addams Family movie called The Man Who Shot Puberty Addams (this relies on Pubert's [he baby's] name being short for Puberty and the audience remembering that 30 years later, and then caring)

AI, turn Beavis green

millennials love going viral

clapping when the credits roll at a porno theater

heres how bad the internet has gotten: dracsearch dot com, the search engine that was just google, but when you searched it made the noise "blugh", is not only defunct, i cant find information about it on google

streaming companies should offer movies ad free, but you can only see the sad, confusing, or horny parts by watching a commercial first

everyone is saying this man is on drugs but i am saying he needs to pee pee

joan diddykong

I grew up playing Summerall Football

Albums with brown covers are Thanksgiving albums

Made this because @hellocullen.bsky.social said "Phoot Bollins" and it has to go somewhere

🚨 RED PANDA IS BACK 🚨

As I understand it, Dick Cheney died jacking off to anime

Our country is currently too depressed to make fun of Arby's steak nuggets

+1 guest at the party from the end of The Game (Mouth full of food, gesturing towards Michael Douglas) "Who's that guy?"

I'm being told the JFL monster has been killed by order of Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman

If you had a bad fantasy football draft a good name for your team is Smell Diaper Jr.

if you just happen to be looking for a streaming service 🔗 lapl.org/emedia

Lexis-Olivier Ray ( @shoton35mm.bsky.social ) , an award-winning journalist for L.A. Taco, filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the Los Angeles Police Department this week. The L.A. Times has all the details: www.latimes.com/california/s...

Sleep assistance app negging me saying I love the sound of farts

You wish you would have met a state treasurer?

Saved you a click: they beheaded a horse

(Lucky Charms accent) oooh look at me wee little funny mustache!

You're not allowed to show someone eating Subway in a commercial

Kash Patel at white heaven

They were sired by Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain during his notorious 1970s run of having group sex

Busy Fill Ups would be a good name for a popular gas station

Jokes on Boomers, they have to live through the sad and gross Children of Men part, Gen Z gets the fun custom car Mad Max part

When you smile in the matrix, you smile in real life

Keep honking I can't hear you over my son's orgasms