remember the old nursery rhyme: with triple cream brie, keep good memory but with a ricotta you ought'na

I appear to be on the wrong train 🥹

“Be sure to set me to ‘delicate,’ Alison. It’d be a shame to ruin that sweater, you know, in case it ever comes back in style.”

Funny animal videos no longer being trustworthy just fucking sucks all around. I love the wonder of animal behavior and what it says about the experience of being alive. It's because it happened in reality that it's so fun. It's not fun if it was just made up. There's no wonder there.

This couldn’t be more important !

Has anyone seen Brad?

🎁 Steve’s shop is still (just!) open for Christmas delivery https://inotternews.etsy.com/listing/4404409366

“You're good, kid, but as long as I'm around, you're only second best, ya see?”

Every question, correctly posed, contains the seed of its own solution. Ask not why I’m giving you the 🖕in my rear-view mirror. Ask how you can see me giving you the 🖕from 100 yards behind me, in the dark… 🤬 #mainbeamwankers

@garius.bsky.social sorry, quick hardware related question: our venerable HP Envy has, we think, been disowned by HP, won’t scan. Are any of the thieving bastards offering a reasonable home printer/copier/scanner without a subscription-based contract? TY

While the authorship of the famous #christmas #poem is open to debate, this is deffo my #cartoon 😊 #dippenandink #watercolour #tealover #merrymousemas

Every question, correctly posed, contains the seed of its own solution. Ask not why I’m giving you the 🖕in my rear-view mirror. Ask how you can see me giving you the 🖕from 100 yards behind me, in the dark… 🤬 #mainbeamwankers

If you see this, repost with your favourite onscreen moment from SF, Fantasy or Horror.

Eleven years ago today I was the only person who turned up for the Zumba class. The teacher asked if I still wanted to do it and I stupidly said yes. One agonising hour with nowhere to hide, trying to watch the moves but not make eye contact. Eleven years later I am still cringing.

I needed this after the last few days. Such good dogs.

Let’s stay in?

Not really a fan of Slipknot - I’m pretty much on a different planet, musically - or Spongebob (wrong generation), but I am increasingly obsessed with this😁: https://youtu.be/Q5OLtoY70AI?si=JO18uCDp6vyLTlJb

We have an opening for "big cat trainer." Must be faster than our previous big cat trainer.

Not really a fan of Slipknot - I’m pretty much on a different planet, musically - or Spongebob (wrong generation), but I am increasingly obsessed with this😁: https://youtu.be/Q5OLtoY70AI?si=JO18uCDp6vyLTlJb

Dear Americans We, in Europe, think you’ve elected a President that is a fuckwit, a very bad person and very obviously ill. We do listen to him. With scorn. And we wonder how the hell you did something so stupid TWICE.

🤭

In case you haven't yet seen the #Intermarché Christmas ad that's gone viral, it's brilliant ! youtu.be/Na9VmMNJvsA?...

You can't finish with someone once you've hit the 20th November. It's too late. You'll have to wait until the 10th of January, but do it quickly or you'll miss the window before Valentine's Day, and before you know it you'll be planning a June wedding.

Remember the advert from the 90s where the man (impossibly good looking, wealthy, intelligent, humble etc.) orders a Snowball and the rest of the cast is unreasonably pleased? Well, I have it on good authority Franglaise is drinking Lambrini…

Well I didn't finish the War on Mice before going to bed, not remotely, but before I went I sloshed cinnamon and clove oils all round everywhere. Not a sign of a mouse in the night! Forget lavender, I find those two oils are real Kryptonite to mousies!!

It's a beautiful thing to see.

Steve is already in full Christmas mode, which is awkward because it’s only the 11th and he’s supposed to be working

Every single political cartoonist in the world is currently drawing a picture of the US seizing Santa's sleigh.

Oh dear, I suddenly had an image in my mind of a flood of used sex toys getting sent to his offices at: Farage Media, 57a, Broadway, Leigh On Sea, Essex, SS9 1PE

You will be visited by three spirits

You will be visited by three spirits

Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: No Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, Marvel, Disney animated or Pixar).

Absolute respect

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.

I fucking love memes you can understand through the language barrier, holy shit

Freddie Freeman traumatizes sick children. #SMH www.instagram.com/p/DR4lwk1Dr6u/

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit

Get a load of this. 😆

“Dennis, do you mind if Mrs. Carlisle comes in and sees your rhino tube-farm?”

I got the Dymo out so that nobody would get confused.

Marcel does not like this vet-themed escape room. Zero stars.

Imagine removing it and watching the first ball bearings fall out, and five minutes later, they're still falling out and bouncing all over the place. A coworker comes to investigate the noise. You are standing there helplessly with a dustpan waiting for a sound like endless hail to stop.

a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?" Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it

The Bourne Legacy