What does it mean if the holy water sizzles when it touches your skin?

absolutley not sorry about the amount of politics if you jerk it to me you should be concerned that i get to exist lol lmao even

tying a rope around my waist and walking into a walmart

soon as i pay off my mortgage imma go on tour as post m'loan

i ain't afraid of no ghosts either bro but any more than that would be spooky af

Twinsies

i think you should be allowed to weigh your tits seperatley and subtract that weight from your body weight because titties should not count to your weight because everybody loves fat titties

If funny guys get hot women, what do funny women get? Medium ugly with dick issues.

"omg this looks fun!" - a soon to be disappointed person

🎵 that’s me in the corner that’s me drinkin’ hot sprite trying to catch a pigeon

republican economists be like

If you mean like a barnacle-crusted rock at the bottom of the ocean floor that smells like a dead hooker’s pussy, then sure. I’m a catch.

"Can we somehow be a little quieter about this issue until we are back in the majority?" By the time you figure out what the actual 'issue' is with you not having a majority, a lot of us will be dead, so no, we're not going to fucking shut up about it.

Had to start a #gofundme to try and get some treatment/help for #ADHD / Autism, insanely pricey, but it has gotten to a stage in life where it has become crippling and I can no longer ignore it, but having chronic physical conditions makes working impossible. gofund.me/655fc21a #helpsky #mutualaid

hickory dickery dock, I'm gonna suck your cock

Taking my cadaver dog to the cemetery as a treat.

Define your music taste in six artists: 1. Beastie boys 2. Kanye 3. Pixies 4. Elliot Smith 5. Neil diamond 6. Taylor swift

I like April fools because I finally have a legitimate reason to be suspicious of every person I encounter.

jesus was super into cross fit and those abs were god's gift to mankind *bites fist*

berenstein berenstain it doesn't really matter how you spell it as long as you understand they are godless killing machines

With the almost certain resurgence of polio thanks to our criminally negligent administration, I'm pretty sure there is some pinhead silicon valley start-up bro right now dreaming about "disrupting" the iron lung vertical. "It's like AirBNB for breathing"

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility, and for a lot of people, that means either protesting or being otherwise vulnerable in the public eye. I don't have that right now. Today, I'm just glad to be here. And I'm glad that you're still here too.

The modern world is full of marvel and wonder like for example we can send people into space, develop strong friendships with people via tiny electronic devices, and also I can get booze delivered to my door

Hii! Happy #TDOV ! Today I'd like to show you two trans girls who are just minding their own buisness and just existing, reposts appreciated <3 #trans #transdayofvisibility #selfie

Imagine living in a country where political leaders and the wealthy aren't immune to the law...

i've said "I've said it before and I'll say it again" before and I'll say "I've said it before and I'll say it again" again

Felon Musk lol is this anything

Just list the price with taxes and fees included, YOU COWARDS

yearn

I don't worry about being called a Nazi because I am not a Nazi. I don't worry about people catching me doing a Nazi salute and showing it repeatedly because I am not a Nazi. I don't worry about people vandalizing my cars & dealerships because I am not a Nazi. Funny how that works, isn't it?

All leggings with a seam going straight up between the labia were designed by men and you cannot convince me otherwise

Okay maybe an unpopular opinion but I think you cannot be an ally if you're best friends with a bigot

A reminder for this Transgender Day of Visibility: Trans people have always existed, and we always will.  No president, politician, or court can change that.

couples on first dates should just cut to the chase and try to build an ikea coffee table together

cocain so white it just got promoted to cfo of your company

"you can't make an omelet without taking a few pegs" - mistress tyra, at breakfast time

So who’s planning the revolution?

Are you telling me a swiss fucked this cheese?

Taking a bazillion meds to decimate my attention deficit hyperbole disorder.

A man on instagram has 1.6million followers simply because he’s hot and that’s why we have to smash the patriarchy.

[paying at the gas pump] Pump: would u like car wash? Y or N Me: N Pump: are u sure? Y or N Me: N Pump: so u want car wash? Y or N Me: N Pump: pretty please? Me: Pump: look either get the car wash or they're gonna kill me. Y or N Me: Y Pump: receipt paper out transaction cancelled lol

"that tracks" - chapter 1, trains for dummies

I just found out the cybertrucks bumper is GLUED on and that tracks

I'm no expert, but this feels like a perfect time for a new season of Fall Out.